issue116 argument7

maylUID: 2162549

TOPIC：ISSUE 116 - "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society-including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences-will benefit greatly from international influences."
WORDS：441          TIME：0:33:30          DATE：2005-12-13

The speaker claims that the every aspect of society would benefit from the global network. In my view, while the global network will undoubtedly benefit the education, politics and science, its influence on arts is a mixed one.

In the realm of education, the global network of economics and communication would bring benefits to the students. They can learn more about other cultures, different government systems, religions, so advance in knowledge and grow in understanding of the humanity, which is the object of the education. Global communication also provides a way to learn how to run education in effective way. For example, from the internet we can get how courses are going in the MIT, and so we can learn the way they education and bring some improvement to ours.

Similarly, in the science, the researchers are also the beneficiaries of the global networks. For the laws of physics, chemistry, and mathematics have no political bound, important discoveries and inventions can be found by scientist in every corner of the world. The communication among them can provide them some inspirations and realize the newest research condition in the field. Also, the communications provide the basis of cooperation, which would provide enough resources that one institution can not supple. For example, the scientists of the American, Japanese, Chinese and so on work out the gene of the rice together, which can not be achieved by only one country.

In the political, the global network in economy makes that it is difficult for one country to start a war to another for the economy connection makes the economy damage in one country will influence the other too. So the world becomes more peaceful. Also, the instant face-to-face communication among diplomatic and important leaders can avoid and quell the economic or military crisis. Just like the six parties’ negotiation about the nuclear problem of the North Korea.

However, in the art, this affects is a mixed one. On the one hand, the communication all over the world would broaden the vision of the artists and makes their works more divers and richer. Just like we can enjoy Da Vince’s Mono Lisa, and read the novels of Mark Twain. However, the logical consequence of this communication is the homogenous global culture, which is not only chill effect on the diversity, but also a threat of culture identity.

In sum, the global networks will benefit some area like the education, the science and the politics, there are still some realm they will act as a two-edged sword. As the global networks are still in the nascent stage, the influences of them are still difficult to judge.
The following appeared in a memorandum issued by the strategic planning department at Omni Inc.
'Mesa Foods, a manufacturer of snack foods that currently markets its products within a relatively small region of the country, has strong growth potential. Mesa enjoyed a 20 percent increase in profits last year, and its best-selling product, Diabolique Salsa, has had increased sales over each of the past three years. Since Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, we should buy Mesa Foods, and concentrate in particular on marketing Diabolique Salsa throughout the country.'
------正文------
In this memo, the arguer claims that Omni Inc should buy Mesa Foods because it has strong growth potential. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer points out that last year, the manufacturer experienced a great increase in profits. In addition, the sales of their main product also increased. However, a careful examination would reveal that the vague data can not be solid ground for the analysis.
First of all, with no exact data of the profit of Omni Imc two years ago, the data can not lend strong support to the conclusion. It is possible that the profit two years ago is only one dollar, and last year, it became twenty. In this circumstance, although the profits increased by twenty percent, there is no need to buy such a manufacture with so few profits in the sacrifice of great investment. So, the arguer should provide the data of profits, not the rate of increase to support the conclusion.
Secondly, the increase in sales of its best-selling product does not necessarily bring plenty of profits. The arguer only points out that the sales has had increased over each of the past three years, but not mention the profits this product brings. There is a great chance that this product does not earn profits and amount to net losses. Then under this condition, the action of buy this manufacture should be thought again.
Finally, although Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, this group does not certainly like the product of Mesa Foods in the country side without survey.
In sum, this memo can not convince us that the company should buy the manufacture. To strength the conclusion, the arguer should provide that the profits of the manufacture can call the interests of Omni Inc. To better evaluate the conclusion, the arguer should also prove that the product of the manufacture will be welcomed by the age group between 14-to-25, all over the country.

BerlinbearUID: 207694

TOPIC：ISSUE 116 - "With the growth of global networks in such areas as economics and communication, there is no doubt that every aspect of society-including education, politics, the arts, and the sciences-will benefit greatly from international influences."
WORDS：441          TIME：0:33:30          DATE：2005-12-13

The speaker claims that the every aspect of society would benefit from the global network. In my view, while the global network will undoubtedly benefit the education, politics and science, its influence on arts is a mixed one.

In the realm of education, the global network of economics and communication would bring benefits to the students. They can learn more about other cultures, different government systems, religions, so advance in knowledge and grow in understanding of the humanity, which is the object of the education. Global communication also provides a way to learn how to run education in effective way. For example, from the internet we can get how courses are going in the MIT, and so we can learn the way they education and bring some improvement to ours.

Similarly, in the science, the researchers are also the beneficiaries of the global networks. For the laws of physics, chemistry, and mathematics have no political bound, important discoveries and inventions can be found by scientist in every corner of the world. The communication among them can provide them some inspirations and realize the newest(可以换成updated) research condition in the field. Also, the communications provide the basis of cooperation, which would provide enough resources that one institution can not supple. For example, the scientists of the American, Japanese, Chinese and so on work out the gene of the rice together, which can not be achieved by only one country.(好例子，很具说服力)

In the political, the global network in economy makes that it is difficult for one country to start a war to another for the economy connection makes the economy damage in one country will influence the other too. So the world becomes more peaceful. Also, the instant face-to-face communication among diplomatic and important leaders can avoid and quell the economic or military crisis.(这个句子的语气好像有点太绝对了，可以加个to some extent 之类限定一下) Just like the six parties’ negotiation about the nuclear problem of the North Korea.

However, in the art, this affects is a mixed one. On the one hand, the communication all over the world would broaden the vision of the artists and makes their works more divers and richer. Just like we can enjoy Da Vince’s Mono Lisa, and read the novels of Mark Twain. However, the logical consequence of this communication is the homogenous global culture, which is not only chill effect on the diversity, but also a threat of culture identity.

In sum, the global networks will benefit some area like the education, the science and the politics, there are still some realm they will act as a two-edged sword. As the global networks are still in the nascent stage, the influences of them are still difficult to judge.

楼主文中例子的选用很丰富而且很具说服力，很棒！~~
不过个人认为楼主的这篇文章中，论证的部分不是很深入，有点浮于表面。
这个论题分成不同领域来写完全可以，但应注意在分析每个领域应深入下去，甚至可以少选一个方面，把其他的领域中网络全球化的影响写深入。
楼主的很多用词很恰当，可以在此基础上尝试提升句子的写作。~~

BerlinbearUID: 207694

In this memo, the arguer claims that Omni Inc should buy Mesa Foods because it has strong growth potential. To substantiate the conclusion, the arguer points out that last year, the manufacturer experienced a great increase in profits. In addition, the sales of their main product also increased. However, a careful examination would reveal that the vague data can not be solid ground for the analysis.

First of all, with no exact data of the profit of Omni Imc two years ago, the data can not lend strong support to the conclusion. It is possible that the profit two years ago is only one dollar, and last year, it became twenty. In this circumstance, although the profits increased by twenty percent, there is no need to buy such a manufacture with so few profits in the sacrifice of great investment. So, the arguer should provide the data of profits, not the rate of increase to support the conclusion.

Secondly, the increase in sales of its best-selling product does not necessarily bring plenty of profits. The arguer only points out that the sales has had increased over each of the past three years, but not mention the profits this product brings. There is a great chance that this product does not earn profits and amount to net losses. Then under this condition, the action of buy this manufacture should be thought again.
Finally, although Omni Inc. is interested in reaching 14-to-25 year olds, the age group that consumes the most snack food, this group does not certainly like the product of Mesa Foods in the country side without survey.

In sum, this memo can not convince us that the company should buy the manufacture. To strength the conclusion, the arguer should provide that the profits of the manufacture can call the interests of Omni Inc. To better evaluate the conclusion, the arguer should also prove that the product of the manufacture will be welcomed by the age group between 14-to-25, all over the country.

一般来说，argument一般批驳三到四个逻辑错误比较合适，两个可能过少，影响文章字数。

建议楼主在写文章时尝试将分析做得更深入，多做一些这方面的练习。

BerlinbearUID: 207694

提醒mayl一下，下次写文章时请不要忘记写中文的提纲了，呵呵~~~

另外i，建议mayl在写作时多注意一下思维深度的训练，多思考；并且慢慢的将文章的字数增加一点，呵呵~~