【作文互改第8组】 145

jackloveUID: 183611

1个小时 386
半小时我才写了前两段，嘿嘿。思绪不顺
多多指教！

The issue of whether advertising is necessary for our daily life is a complex and controversial one. On the one hand, many people say that advertisements can introduce some new products that may be beneficial to our lives, on the other hand, others believe that there are full of commercials for something we really do not need. However, in the final analysis, I conclude that a great amount of advertisements improves our lives to a large extent. In the following discussion, I would like to present some evidences to support my argument.

In the first place, it cannot be denied that advertisement can offer o lot useful information about our necessary. Everyday you can see many advertisements that always introduce you new products on television, such as new medicine which may cure some serve injure effectively, new cars, and some delicious food. Companies usually put their high quality products on advertisings that associate with our daily life, which may have more advantages than the old ones. Otherwise, it is not easy to attract customers, and thus lead to get little profits. Therefore, companies make efforts to perfect their products to attract more customers through advertisements.

In the second place, it is quite convenient for people to get some information about new products they need. At many times one do not know where one can get this information or we do not know completely the product. When one unconsciously sees the advertisements, one may find the products. For example, you are likely to buy an apartment in city but learn a little about. And you usually can get a lot of information from advertisements. Thus, advertisements usually offer some convenient and economical information.

In addition, we usually enjoy some funny advertisements. There are many novel and interesting advertisements, which can give an entertainment and flavor for life. Maybe you can learn some innovative opinions.

Nevertheless, there are some pure commercials for something we really do not want, such as unhealthy food, some drug, and meaningless content.

In conclusion, although advertisements may tell us some useless information, the benefits of advertisements obviously outweigh the negative one. Thus, we can safely arrive at the conclusion that advertisements usually give us many new products that may improve my lives, offer some convenient and economical products, and give our life entertainment.

[ Last edited by foolboy007 on 2005-12-15 at 22:11 ]

ggqUID: 2145333

lz对动词的用法好像不是很熟啊，第一段的on one hand，on the other hand 不是这么用的，而且第一段作为开头段别这么写，少用I，不要说废话，如果觉得字数不够，再加一段让步段，个人看法，说的不对别介意

ggqUID: 2145333

顺便说一句，lz也去拍拍我吧，我第一组的，谢了

olive8310UID: 2164907

may be beneficial to our lives-->may beneficial our lives
In the first place, it cannot be denied that advertisement can offer o lot useful information about our necessary.-->can offer a lot of useful information which is necessary.
such as new medicine which may cure some serve injure effectively, new cars, and some delicious food.既然是举例子为什么就写medicine呢 要么也把car and food的which may也写下去  要么就都不写会不会好一点呢？At many times one do not know where one can get this information or we do not know completely the product.--> about the product
最后entertainment.要用ADJ.

jackloveUID: 183611

may benefit our lives===may be beneficial to our lives

其他接受了，谢谢

jackloveUID: 183611

ggq你的作文在那放置，我去瞅瞅

ggqUID: 2145333

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
哭啊，都沉下去了

jackloveUID: 183611

45min 324
欢迎大家 来拍拍

Recently，a company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near my community, which result in a heated argument in my community. Some people disagree with it due to environmental pollution that factory may bring. Other people, including me, however, strongly support the plan because of the reasons as follows.

Obviously, a large factory built in community will impetus the development of economic aspects of community. If a large factory was built near community, it will employ a large number of worker to maintain the ordinary operation. As a result, the authority of factory usually chooses the local people because factory may spend less money in dormitory and refectory for future workers. Therefore, it will not merely directly reduce the number of unemployment but also improve the living standard in community. Moreover, building a large factory can benefit to construct the relevant facilities, such as road, supermarket, hotel, and hospital.

In addition, a large factory near a community may change ways of life in some senses. Before, there are a lot of habitants who are unemployed that like to engage in gossip and doing meaningless things. After building a large factory, most are likely to be hired, and thus they can arrange the whole day instead of chatting, the extent to which may encourage people to make plans rather than to waste time and change the custom.

Meanwhile, except for the benefits of economy and changes in ways of life, building a large factory may lead to environmental pollution. Yet the maturity of management of factory can prevent the industrial waste of polluting the environment, whereas may meliorate the environment, such as planting a plenty of trees and grasses.

In conclusion, although a large factory may bring some problems in environment, the advantages of building a large of factory obviously outweigh the disadvantages because it improves the living standard, changes ways of life, and meliorate the environment to the extent. Thus, i agree with the announcement of build a large factory in my community.

avexUID: 159089

Recently，a company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near my community, which result语法错误，时态或单复数变化 in a heated argument in my community. Some people disagree with it due to environmental pollution that factory may bring. Other people, including me, however, 这逗号有点猛，换换句式顺序吧 strongly support the plan because of the reasons as follows.

Obviously, a large factory built in community will impetus 是不是impulse the development of economic aspects of community. If a large factory was built near community罗嗦的说法, it will employ a large number of worker s to maintain the ordinary operation. As a result, the authority?这个词是不是用错了，改成人吧 of factory usually chooses the local people because factory限定词，否则语法错误 may spend less money in dormitory and refectory 这个也是单可问题for future workers. Therefore, it will not merely directly 两个adv在一块很不常见换换句子顺序，可置于句尾reduce the number of unemployment but also improve the living standard in community. Moreover, building a large factory can benefit to construct the relevant facilities, such as road, supermarket, hotel, and hospital同上单可.

In addition, a large factory near a community may change ways of life in some senses去掉s. Before, there are a lot of habitants who are unemployed that like to engage in gossip and doing meaningless things. After building a large factory, most are likely to be hired, and thus they can arrange the whole day instead of chatting, the extent to which may encourage people to make plans rather than to waste time and change the custom.这个论点说的很模糊也很牵强

Meanwhile, except for the benefits of economy and changes in ways of life, building a large factory may lead to environmental pollution. Yet the maturity of management of factory can prevent the industrial waste of 改为form polluting the environment, whereas 少主语,而且whereas有逻辑问题may meliorate the environment, such as planting a plenty of trees and grasses.

In conclusion, although a large factory may bring some problems in environment, the advantages of building a large of factory obviously outweigh the disadvantages because it improves the living standard, changes ways of life, and meliorate the environment to the extent. Thus, i agree with the announcement of build a large factory in my community.

拍得有点狠，别介意