这期的写作，还没有被分组，请大家帮忙看一下

mermaidyUID: 2151341

加入的比较晚，也没有被分组。
  这是我的第一篇Twe,比较仓促， 还请大家多多指教！

50 min 420 words.

With the development of society and economy, more and more factories are built to produce better production for people. But as it concerns to me that a company wish to build a large factory near my community, maybe I will reconsider the effect of this construction. As each coin has two sides, building a factory not only means promoting the local economy as it bring the job opportunities and other facility but also means destroying the environment. However after balancing the two sides I support to build a factory in my community.
It has been proved that economical development, especially the chemical development, will bring the pollution of the local environment according to the industry history. For example, Lake Tai in Zhejiang province used to be a peaceful and beautiful place which is famous for the tasty fish. But after a large amount of factories built near the lake, the water is severely polluted and even almost all the plants were died, saying nothing of the tasty fish. Similar situation has happened in many developing countries. At the same time, many measures are also used for avoiding the pollution. Therefore, building a factory in my community may certainly have some negative effect to the environment.
        People should not deny eating fish for fear of being stung by the fish sting. We should also consider the advantages of building a factory. A new factory may waken up the old city by stimulating the local economy. The citizen will have more job opportunity offering by the factory; at same time their knowledge and eyesight will be enlarged for not focusing on their old life style and their life standard will be improve in their children’s education and ordinary life standard. ShenZhen, a city famous of it developing speed in China, is a good illustration. Twenty years ago, it is just a small city with all the citizens dedicating their lives on fishing but now it is a world famous city for their economy and electronic industry. Why this city has a tremendous change? The initial reason may be the building of some factories in this city with the investment of both the money and fresh idea. So we can get the conclusion that building a factory may be the initial stimulation of economy development.
        As for my community, it is not a well developed city and people there want to have a bridge connecting the modern world. So building a factory may be just a bridge of the advanced technology and economy.

mermaidyUID: 2151341

没人给看一下吗？

逆风飞羊UID: 182440

With the development of society and economy, more and more factories are built to produce better production for people. But as it concerns to me that a company wish to build a large factory near my community, maybe I will reconsider the effect of this construction. As each coin has two sides(这个说法MS太土了的说.换一个吧 我一时也没想出合适的来HOHO),building a factory not only means promoting the local economy as it bring the job opportunities and other facility but also means destroying the environment. However after balancing the two sides I support to build a factory in my community.(这么写真容易让人晕.最好不要这个HOWEVER.因为你也没和之前转折啊.最好在开头摆出单一观点.not only but also是递进了,还是用as well这类词比较好)
It has been proved that economical development, especially the chemical development, will bring the pollution of the local environment according to the industry history. For example, Lake Tai in Zhejiang province used to be a peaceful and beautiful place which is famous for the tasty fish. But after a large amount of factories built near the lake, the water is severely polluted and even almost all the plants were died, saying nothing of the tasty fish. Similar situation has happened in many developing countries. At the same time, many measures are also used for avoiding the pollution. Therefore, building a factory in my community may certainly have some negative effect to the environment.(想用AW的思维批驳一下.你举太湖的例子,你家乡有湖河么?如果没有,你怎么能说这样的污染会影响你的家乡?把Lake Tai 的例子缩成一两句话,再写我家也是鱼米之乡~~不就好了!结合自己家乡说,紧扣题目)        
People should not deny eating fish for fear of being stung by the fish sting. We should also consider the advantages of building a factory. A new factory may waken up the old city by stimulating the local economy. The citizen will have more job opportunity offering by the factory; at(the) same time their knowledge and eyesight will be enlarged for not focusing on their old life style and their life standard will be improve in their children’s education and ordinary life standard. ShenZhen, a city famous of it developing speed in China, is a good illustration. Twenty years ago, it is just a small city with all the citizens dedicating their lives on fishing but now it is a world famous city for their economy and electronic industry. Why this city has a tremendous change? The initial reason may be the building of some factories in this city with the investment of both the money and fresh idea. So we can get the conclusion that building a factory may be the initial stimulation of economy development.
        As for my community, it is not a well developed city and people there want to have a bridge connecting the modern world. So building a factory may be just a bridge of the advanced technology and economy.

最好先写自己支持的观点而且多着笔墨. 另一方面,题目说要提到,就只是稍微说两句就行了.
如果没分组可以在总贴后跟贴,会有更多朋友关注,帮你看的:)