1T作文同期写作griffinandroc和greenlemon组

griffinandrocUID: 201471

我也决定自己开个新贴了，不然大家都跟在主贴下，挺乱的
time: 32具体我不太清楚，中间接了一个电话
字数：360
Wether games are important for an individual has always been a disputed question. Of course, after thorough research since long time ago, almost every one would agree that games not only could give children a happy childhood but also help them fore their elementary step of intellectual development. Many people, however, doubt if games have the same importance for adults as for children. Personally, I support the idea that playing games means as much to adults as to children.

First, adults could relax themselves by being engaged in game activities. As an example, my father, a twenty-years software engineer, often play with the kids on his floor after his dinner. Undoubtedly, this short time-span enables him not to behavior like an educated adults. But it do has some positive effects for letting him get rid of those complex tasks related to his profession during his day-time work. Many times, my father told me that during this period of time he felt coming back to his childhood again and that feeling gave him happiness and always resulted in a good sleep.

Second, many games which are sophiscated and designed for adults could teach them as well. For example, board games-logo, chess, and etc-can tell people about many stragtegy when they faced difficult situation; starcraft, warcraft and many other computer games can serve as mirror of real battle; when involved in a card game, players would find out that it is really hard to win without a well sense of cooperation. All these means that games can offer a beneficial experience in which adults can learn a lot.

Admittedly, since people may engaged in games in an addicted way, their time for rest and work could possibly be deprived. And the same thing may happen to their energy and concerntration for work. But I think most adults will have the ability to keep away from that extrem circumstance.

In conclusion, even though games may have some side-effects in some situations, not only do their advantages far outweigh their disadvantages but also adults could bypass those shortcomings. Hence, I back up the statement that games are important for adults as for children.

greenlemonUID: 2169154

新鲜出炉，热乎乎的，
time: 30
words: 373
Do you regard an adult who loves to play games the same as children do as normal? Many people would not take games as one of important things in their lives, while I think games are as important for an adult as they are for children.

Since most of us only had serious attitudes towards games when we were very young, the importance of games are gradually ignored as we grow older and older. Even we will actually enjoy ourselves when joining in games, we would not like to admit it. We do need games to relax ourselves, relieve the pressure from work, relationship with others, and other things. One of the most popular games, the “killing game”, which is said to be created by some IT engineers, is welcomed not only by students, but also by many adults, very interesting and efficient to rescue people from dull work. Maybe this one is too “adult”, what about swings? There are always happy children in the swings in every park all over the world. This simple game has the most simple way to relax you, no matter who, adults or children, when you close your eyes imaging yourself as a bird flying in the sky, both the body and the spirit being free.

Moreover, as everyone needs some fun in his/her life, game is one of the most important happy sources. People play football, word puzzles, and other games to have fun. And some “crazy” or “childish” behaviors as building a game house which people used to build in their childhoods may recall the wonderful memory , brings you a smile from deep heart.

Also, adults would enjoy the sweet moment with family members when they play games together, especially the kids. Parents can communicate with their children in many ways, but game is definitely one of the best ways. When they are in games together, distances are shrunk and hearts get closed. Kids will benefit much from the happy times spent with their daddies and mammies, games being bridges between them.

So, adults need games, which may be different from ones they used to play, but the importance would not change. Games are presents life generally give us, to both children and grown-ups.

griffinandrocUID: 201471

如题

stoneSQUID: 2145827

Wether（？） games are important for an individual has always been a disputed question（？issue, topic,controversy）. Of course, after thorough research since long time ago（？for a quite long period）, almost every one（everyone） would agree that games not only could （could提前）give children a happy childhood but also help them fore（？） their elementary step of intellectual development. Many people, however, doubt if games have the same importance for adults as for children. Personally, I support the idea that playing games means as much to adults as to children.

First, adults could relax themselves by being engaged in game activities. As an example, my father, a twenty-years （？twenty-year old）software engineer, often play with the kids on his floor after his dinner（play wit kids on the floor after dinner）. Undoubtedly, this short time-span enables him not to behavior （？behave）like an educated adults. But（这个转折没意义） it do has some positive effects for letting him get rid of those complex tasks related to his profession during his day-time work. Many times（不地道）, my father told me that during this period of time he felt coming back to his childhood again and that feeling gave him happiness and always resulted in a good sleep.不知道你这样的例证是不是“违反游戏规则”，“尽量不拿自己说事”适不适合来说明
Second, many games which are sophiscated and designed for adults could teach them as well（具体体现在哪些方面，以来可以复杂一下ts，另外也可限定一下范围）. For example, board games-logo, chess, and etc（尽量不用and etc.）-can tell people about many stragtegy（pl.） when they faced（现在时？） difficult situation（difficulties）; starcraft, warcraft and many other computer games can serve as mirror（？） of real battle（？两个单数名词）; when involved in a card game, players would find out that it is really hard to win without a well（？） sense of cooperation. All these means （？）that games can offer a beneficial experience in which adults can learn a lot.

Admittedly, since people may engaged（被动？） in games in an addicted way（冗余了，直接用addict动词不就ok了？）, their time for rest and work could possibly be deprived（occupied?）. And the same thing may happen to their energy and concerntration for work（换个说法，不同，单词拼错了）. But I think most adults will have the ability to keep away from that extrem（？） circumstance（pl.？）.不知道有没有必要让步

In conclusion, even though games may have some side-effects in some situations, not only do their advantages far outweigh their disadvantages but also adults could bypass（？） those shortcomings（？）. Hence, I back up the statement that games are important for adults as for children.

例证是不是多了点，是不是应该有些说理，有几处明显的typo，遣词造句再加油一下哈，^_^

[ Last edited by stoneSQ on 2005-12-23 at 19:38 ]

stoneSQUID: 2145827

Do you regard （？）an adult who loves to play games the same as children do as normal（do you want to say"behave normally"?）? Many people would not take games as one of important things in their lives, while I think games are as important for an adult as they are for children有人曾劝告过我，用问句开头，不符合老外的思维，无从考证了。感觉论点提出不是很顺畅

Since most of us only had serious attitudes towards games when we were very young,（是这样吗？小时候对games的态度是严肃的？） the importance of games are gradually ignored as we grow older and older. Even（Although?） we will actually enjoy ourselves when joining in games, we would not like to admit it.（这句话跟你的论点有多大关系？） We do need games to relax ourselves, relieve the pressure from work, relationship with others, and other things（这句话中的并列结构混乱）. One of the most popular games, the “killing game”, which is said to be created by some IT engineers, is welcomed not only by students（一定不是adults？）, but also by many adults, very interesting and efficient to rescue people from dull work（这个形容词短语有点。。。）. Maybe this one is too “adult”（是不是有点造词的嫌疑？）, what about swings（chinglish？）? There are always happy children in the swings in every park all over the world. This simple game has the most simple（simplest？） way to relax you, no matter who（chinglish？）, adults or children, when you close your eyes imaging yourself as a bird flying in the sky, both the body and the spirit being free（？）.（最后一句感觉结构不紧凑，重新组织下如何？）似乎应该把如何起到放松作用说得更明确些

Moreover, as everyone needs some fun in his/her life, game is one of the most important happy sources. People play football, word puzzles, and other games to have fun（换个说法，避免重复，如何？）. And some “crazy” or “childish” behaviors as building a game house which people used to build in their childhoods may recall the wonderful memory , brings you a smile from deep heart.（最后语法严重错误，用方式状语重写如何？结构再考虑下？）
Also, adults would enjoy the sweet moment with family members when they play games together, especially the kids（不明确）. Parents can communicate with their children in many ways, but game（复数更合适？） is definitely one of the best ways. When they are in games together, distances are shrunk and hearts get closed. Kids will benefit much from the happy times spent with their daddies and mammies（口语化用语是否避免）, games being bridges between them（独立主格？什么成分？合适？）.
So, adults need games, which may be different from ones they used to play（没表达清楚你的意思）, but the importance would not change. Games are presents（that，不省略的好？） life generally（generously?） give（gives） us, to（去掉？） both children and grown-ups.

直接用英语思维写作，不是通过中文做中介，也许是个地道使用英语的不错办法，我的努力方向，与你共享，^_^

三方面证明adults need games， ＝ as important as children?，这个问题到底如何理解，还在理解中。。。哈哈

[ Last edited by stoneSQ on 2005-12-23 at 20:07 ]