请帮我改一下作文，第一篇：）谢谢

sofanUID: 153987

题目：用机器工作好，还是手工工作好。
With the development of science and technology, a considerably variety of machine are introduced into our lives, saving us out from stylized boring works.Although some people prefer working by hand and brand the machine will deprive enjoyment in working.I would like to choose a machine to complete my task if possible.
First,machine bring efficiency and convenience to our daily life.A food point in case is the washing machine.All of us have faced the situations in which you have to wash a pile of clothes everyday. Just imagine what would be like if there is a washing machine.In such a fast pacing society ,no one want to waste a block of time, just on dirty closes,espically it may not be comfortable for you to dip your hands into water with washing powders.Of course ,machines do not just help you to clean.You can utilize it to complete many things expected,such as a microwave oven used as a heater,a computer that help you to look for information about different fields.Take the computer as another example,this micro machine have extremely improved the quality of our life.In addition to searching for information, a computer can automatically control the operation of equipments in your house.It can even be used to order anything you need with internet instead of going shopping in a crouded and noisy enviorment,not to mention the saving time.
   Machine play an important place not only in daily life,but also in industry.Today,as we all kown,automatic operation by a machine result in the high quality and efficiency of production.Machines definitely contribute a lot to the civilation of society.
   Of course,I do not deny the advantages of working by hand.It provide us fun bu practicing and train us to be more flexibility.But why do not use a machine to finish a task and use the saving time to do more things you like,maybe it is a better way that help you to sufficiently make good use of a certain literval of time.
    From what has been discussed above,Ibelieve that utilization of a machine help us to save amore time to do what we want.Since the machine is much more efficient than a person who will feel tired when he is keeping doing the same work.

foolboy007UID: 28322

有一些很明显的语法错误
4分

sofanUID: 153987

能不能具体改一下？

liujia228cnUID: 174411

with the development of science and technology, a considerably variety of machine are a considerable varities of machines are introduced into our lives, saving us out from stylized boring works.Although some people prefer working by hand and brand the machine will deprive enjoyment in working.I would like to choose a machine to complete my task if possible.

First,换个长点的machine bring单幅 efficiency and convenience to our daily life.A food point in case is the washing machine.All of us have faced the situations in which you have to wash a pile of clothes everyday. Just imagine what would be like if there is a washing machine.In such a fast pacing society ,no one want to waste a block of time, just on dirty closes,espically it may not be comfortable for you to dip your hands into water with washing powders.Of course ,machines do not just help you to clean.You can utilize it to complete many things expected,such as a microwave oven used as a heater,a computer that help you to look for information about different fields.Take the computer as another example,this micro machine have extremely improved the quality of our life.In addition to searching for information, a computer can automatically control the operation of equipments in your house.It can even be used to order anything you need with internet instead of going shopping in a crouded and noisy enviorment,not to mention the saving time.|留学|签证|TOEFL|GRE}5M.ai

Machine play an important place not only in daily life,but also in industry.Today,as we all kown,automatic operation by a machine result in the high quality and efficiency of production.Machines definitely contribute a lot to the civilation of society

  Of course,I do not deny the advantages of working by hand.It provide us fun bu practicing and train us to be more flexibility.But why do not use a machine to finish a task and use the saving time to do more things you like,maybe it is a better way that help you to sufficiently make good use of a certain literval of time

From what has been discussed above,Ibelieve that utilization of a machine help us to save amore time to do what we want.Since the machine is much more efficient than a person who will feel tired when he is keeping doing the same work.