刚写了作文，马上1T了，麻烦大家帮改改吧

panhongyuUID: 2132898

181. In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With limited land sources on the earth, whether we should reserve more land for the future or develop more for housing and industry now is hot debated among the governments, and even ordinary people. Considering the situation that my country is still a developing one, as far as I am concerned, development should be given the top priority.

Since 1978, our country has been undergoing a golden period of developing. It is estimated that nearly all the top 500 companies all over the world has already or planed to invest millions of dollars to our domestic market, which accordingly requires additional land to build factory. Limiting available land sources would definitely slow the process, by which we join our domestic market as a part of whole world market. We have lost so many opportunities though out the history, when we shut the door to the outside world a hundred years ago. Accordingly, we should in no sense make the same mistake again. Only when we prepare ourselves for the outside world, can opportunities knock the door and bring us further development. Enough land is the prerequisites for a open market.

In addition to promote industry, developing more land also benefit local residents. While the industry is developing fascinating, relative services are also demanded by the locals. The tedious wording in factories for eight hours a day makes people completely wear out. No one can live merely with work, therefore entertainment is a necessary complement in their spare time. Exploring more land for the facilities, including cinemas, shopping malls, and gyms, provides them right places to relax themselves. Moreover, increasing immigrants also require more land for building department.

On the other hand, some people may argue that the more lands we use today, the less remain for our offspring. But I believe that if we make good use of every inch of lands, and try our best to explore the suburb area, the benefits of our offspring will not conflict with the current development of land.

bellaUID: 2113519

第二段开头的时候是不是先提出一下你的观点好一点？
最后一段的on the other hand... ... 那一句是不是分开来成为独立的一段写好一点？

但是还是觉得写得比我好得多了，我也是要1T的人啊，可是我还没写过几篇作文哪！

liujia228cnUID: 174411

随便说说，一家之言

With limited land sources ----resources on the earth, whether we should reserve more land for the future or develop more for housing and industry now is 加a hot debated among the governments, and even ordinary people. 上边这句话头重脚轻Considering the situation that my country我觉得可疑说出中国 is still a developing one, as far as I am concerned（ i would prefer to give...）？, development should be given the top priority

Since 1978, our country可以替换nation等 has been undergoing a golden period of developing. It is estimated that nearly all the top 500 companies all over the world 觉得有点罗索，可以简写试试has already or  planed to invest millions of dollars to our domestic market, which accordingly requires additional land to build factory. Limiting 被动available land sources would definitely slow the process, by which we join our domestic market as a part of whole world market. We have lost so many opportunities though out the history, when we shut the door to the outside world a hundred years ago. Accordingly, we should in no sense make the same mistake again. Only when we prepare ourselves for the outside world, can opportunities knock the door and bring us further development. Enough land is the prerequisites for a open market.

In addition to promote industry, developing more land also benefit local residents. While the industry is developing fascinating, relative services are also demanded by the locals. The tedious wording in factories for eight hours a day makes people completely wear out. No one can live merely with work, therefore entertainment is a necessary complement in their spare time. Exploring more land for the facilities, including cinemas, shopping malls, and gyms, provides them right places to relax themselves. Moreover, increasing immigrants also require more land for building department.|

On the other hand,可改成admittedly some people may argue that the more lands we use today, the less remain for our offspring. But I believe that if we make good use of every inch of lands, and try our best to explore the suburb area, the benefits of our offspring will not conflict with the current development of land.

panhongyuUID: 2132898

thanks a lot