这是到现在为止写的第一篇TWE,牛人们帮看一下!

camillechaiUID: 2144199

我是随便挑了一个题目写的,大家看看这样能得多少分啊.
题目:在你的社区建工厂>
It is no denying that building factory in the residential community do harm to the
residents.In my point of view ,I might stick to the idea that apparently it will be
no good , installing a factory in the place where you live .And my arguments
about this point are listed as follows.

When it comes to this atitude, some poeple may have a strong feeling that
building a factory in your neighborhood will bring a great variety of job opportunities availble to many umemplyees.However ,when the factory be set up in the
community ,it will inevitably contaminate the enviroment ,threatening poeple's
life. For example , air pollution may let you in danger of awful damage in both physical and in mental aspects.

Anothere potential reason why I disagree building a  factory in the community is that ignorance  of the fact that with a big factory in your surroundings will bring you not only the air pollution but also the noice pollution.It is reported that if the noice level is higher than the normal one up to 30-40 decibels .many typicle of
diseases will be caused by this attack.Therefore ,it is comparatively important that
the greater the population there is in a locality ,the greater the need there is for
quiet and comfor dwelling enviromen.

As an old saying goes that every coin has two sides .Frankly speaking ,with   more
and more severe competions in mordern times,  to some extent ,the factory
building in your community will bing more job openings.Nevertheless ,the
disadvantades almost always outweigh the advantages

Given all these points above ,we may safely draw a conclusion that building the
factory in the community will mass up our ordinary daily life and at the same time
a lot of problems we have to solve.It is hoped that we should forcus more attention on the enviroment when we plan the frastructure.

camillechaiUID: 2144199

牛人们帮着看看,我这作文写成这样行么,给点意见,急!!!!!!!!