Issue141 (gogogo!)

yunziluoUID: 2164829

Issue 141/29
"Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."

“大多数人都能认识到个性的有利之处。但事实是，个人的经济成功所要求的则是与他人保持一致。”

写作提纲：
1，        作者强调了后者，其实两者一样重要，缺一不可。
2，        个性非常重要，是在市场竞争中占有一席之地的根本。Dell的例子。
3，        一致也很重要，一致才能被更多的人认同，取得最大的利益。KFC的广告。
4，        在一个企业的内部，也需要有这样一个平衡，个性赋予团体进取和革新，一致确保革新得以实现。
5，        总结，在全球化的今天，竞争的激烈要求发挥个性，但是要取得最大的收益需要一致。

In order to make personal economic success, the speaker claims that conformity is more important than individuality. However, in my opinion, individuality is to conformity like what hand to leg. Both of them are indispensable to ensure one to be successful in business.

To begin with, individuality is something which makes a person or a production and even a company outstanding from their rivals. Today, as the development of the economy globalization, competition is more and more drastically. Without individuality, it is hardly to survive in competitive tide for a company. The unique sales strategy of Dell is an ape example to illustrate this point. In order to expend the computer selling market, Dell Inc provides personal demand service---designing computer following every customers’ request, which is different from the traditional form. Based on the policy, Dell becomes a computer-sale giant distinguished from numerous excellent computer companies in short time. This sample tells us that only individuality could afford an innovative energy and an effective way to make success come into true.

On the other hand, conformity is something which makes a person, a production or even a company melted into the market of different countries and cultures. In a sense, economy successes base on possessing markets as wide as possible and make consumers as much of as possible identify the production happily. A case in point, KFC, according to a statistics, in the past few years the number of its fast food chain shops has already arrive at 1500 in China. Maybe you would say the unique taste of KFC hamburger keeps its prosperity in Chinese food market. However, it is not necessarily so. You will find the same kind of hamburger coming from Chinese KFC and America KFC has different taste. In fact, for the sake of catering for more Chinese people's favor, KFC not only modifies the taste of the hamburger but also provides new food based on Chinese traditional food. Thus, conformity is same important as individuality. Moreover, only keeping a balance between individuality and conformity, a person can make a great success.

Last but not least, the importance of the balance between individuality and conformity also manifests in the relationships between individual and group. An ego-centric person usually imposes individual intention on other members or satisfies individual interest at the risk of others’. Perhaps he or she might climb the top point of success temporarily, but in long term he must fall down. On the contrary, a wise open-mind person is usually proficient in keeping the balance between individuality and conformity and enjoys personal economic success at last.

Above all, in the era of globalization, individuality and conformity are both important. lacking any one of them, a person can not achieve great economic success.

neverstopcowUID: 2149686

Issue 141/29
"Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."

“大多数人都能认识到个性的有利之处。但事实是，个人的经济成功所要求的则是与他人保持一致。”

写作提纲：
1，        作者强调了后者，其实两者一样重要，缺一不可。
2，        个性非常重要，是在市场竞争中占有一席之地的根本。Dell的例子。
3，        一致也很重要，一致才能被更多的人认同，取得最大的利益。KFC的广告。
4，        在一个企业的内部，也需要有这样一个平衡，个性赋予团体进取和革新，一致确保革新得以实现。
5，        总结，在全球化的今天，竞争的激烈要求发挥个性，但是要取得最大的收益需要一致。

In order to make personal economic success, the speaker claims that conformity is more important than individuality. However, in my opinion, individuality is to conformity like what hand to leg.（这句话好像不对阿，改成这样看是不是好点：comparing individuality with conformity is just like comparing hands with legs, both of which are significant to a person. The same analogue can be drawn that both of individuality and conformity are indispensible to ensure one to be successful in business.） Both of them are indispensable to ensure one to be successful in business.

To begin with, individuality is something which makes a person or a production and even a company outstanding from their rivals. Today, as the development of the economy globalization, competition is more and more drastically. Without individuality, it is hardly (这个词用错了) to survive in competitive tide for a company. The unique sales strategy of Dell is an ape (apt) example to illustrate this point. In order to expend the computer selling market, Dell Inc provides personal demand service---designing computer following every customers’ request, which is different from the traditional form. Based on the policy, Dell becomes a computer-sale giant distinguished from numerous excellent computer companies in short time. This sample （样品？） tells us that only individuality could afford an innovative energy and an effective way to make success come into true（come true or come into reality）.

On the other hand, conformity is something which makes a person, a production or even a company melted into the market of different countries and cultures. In a sense, economy successes base on possessing markets as wide as possible and make consumers as much of as possible identify the production happily. A case in point, KFC, according to a statistics, in the past few years the number of its fast food chain shops has already arrive at 1500 in China. (its fast food chain shops have sumed up to 1500 in China看起来简练些，the number has arrived at总觉得有些别扭，确实是这样说的吗？)  Maybe you would say the unique taste of KFC hamburger keeps its prosperity in Chinese food market. However, it is not necessarily so. You will find the same kind of hamburger coming from Chinese KFC and America KFC has different taste. In fact, for the sake of catering for more Chinese people's favor, KFC not only modifies the taste of the hamburger but also provides new food based on Chinese traditional food. Thus, conformity is same（要么用is the same as...要么用is as important as...） important as individuality. Moreover, only keeping a balance between individuality and conformity, a person can make a great success.

Last but not least, the importance of the balance between individuality and conformity also manifests in the relationships between individual and group. An ego-centric person usually imposes individual intention on other members or satisfies individual interest at the risk of others’. Perhaps he or she might climb the top point of success temporarily, but in long term he must fall down. On the contrary, a wise open-mind person is usually proficient in keeping the balance between individuality and conformity and enjoys personal economic success at last.

Above all, in the era of globalization, individuality and conformity are both important. lacking any one of them, a person can not achieve great economic success.
最后两段与你的提纲相去甚远阿，还有从你的提纲来看，第四段前面或者第三段的最后差一点什么，因为你第四段说的是也需要有这样一个平衡，那前面一定还有什么需要这样一个平衡，可是你前面一个是需要个性的例子，一个是需要一致的例子，我可以理解成有时需要个性，有时需要一致，你并没有支出一定要平衡。我觉得你的语言已经可以了，需要的话就是在结构上多思考，怎样构思才更严密，anyway，整篇文章深度不错，比我的强多了，尤其是每天这么晚些作文，思路还能保持清醒，不错了，继续加油

yunziluoUID: 2164829

谢谢你的高质量修改,提高不少.
一定仔细琢磨