Issue17 (gogogo)

neverstopcowUID: 2149686

outline: 1. 提出观点，对于公正的法律应当遵守，而对于不公正的法律也不应该采取极端的手法抵抗
2. 首先，应该明确如何正确界定公正与不公正的法律
3. 对于维护社会和平稳定的公正的法律当然应该遵守，这是公民的义务
4. 对于不公正的法律应该采取和平的手段
5. 总结
正文：
If people can live separately and have no influence on the others, we can of course do whatever we like freely. But the fact is that we live in a society and are dependent to each other to some extent. Thereby, we should follow the laws of the society. To just laws, it is people’s responsibility to obey. When turns to unjust ones, I deem that we should not disobey and resist by extreme means.

To begin with, we are supposed to distinguish just and unjust laws by some clear definition of them. The gauges people have to measure whether a law is just or not may differ from country to country. For instance, most legislation adopts the laws of monogamy. While in some rare country, polygamy or even polyandry is carried on. Consequently, we should first judge a law in a certain country. In addition, people live in different times have different opinion, although in the same country. A typical example is that polygamy, which was licit before Qing Dynasty, is abolished in Chinese current legislation. From all the above, we can draw a simple conclusion that whether laws are just or not should be judged by the moral standards of current local people.

According to the judgment mentioned above, we can divide laws into just and unjust ones reasonably. Obeying just laws is not only the right but also obligation of citizens. Some private laws can deal with matters as contracts, property ownership and damage to one’s person or property caused by others. Such laws are made to protect individual rights. While some public laws are made to construct a peaceful, orderly and relatively stable society. For example, it is regulated in China that we must drive on the right-handed side of a two-way street. If people were allowed to choose at random which side of the street to drive on, the society would confront great chaos and disaster. Above all, obeying just laws not only favors individual lives in the society, but also regular and stabilizes the whole society.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that every body of the laws has its unjust or unreasonable items lying in it. Otherwise, no amendment would exist. The question is what we should do to response to unjust laws. I deem that to disobey and resist by force is not a wise way because it may induce a war as a result. The Civil War of America is caused by the controversy on the slavery. Although this debate seemed to end in the abnegation of slavery at last, so many people lost their life in the war. Unjust laws can be toppled or amended by peaceful means rather than such crude way. For example, to organize a peaceful parade or to draft out a proclamation to legislature will be all effective to solve the problem.

Generally speaking, laws play a significant role in current society. They protect human’s rights and help citizens live in harmony. It’s our obligation to obey laws. Though some stain exists in the current laws, it should be developed and amended through proper and reasonable methods. After all, to maintain a orderly and stable environment is the responsibility of every citizen.
537字

nekoUID: 162772

占位置
这次我等人先改完了我再改
要不这样下去没人给你改了...

加一UID: 2168628

If people can live separately and have no influence on the others, we can of course do whatever we like freely. But the fact is that we live in a society and are dependent to each other to some extent. Thereby, we should follow the laws of the society. To just laws, it is people’s responsibility to obey. When turns to unjust ones, I deem that we should not disobey and resist by extreme means.

To begin with, we are supposed to distinguish just and unjust laws by some clear definition of them. The gauges people have to measure whether a law is just or not may differ from country to country. For instance, most legislation adopts the laws of monogamy. While in some rare country, polygamy or even polyandry is carried on. Consequently, we should first judge a law in a certain country. In addition, people live in different times have different opinion, although in the same country. A typical example is that polygamy, which was licit before Qing Dynasty, is abolished in Chinese current legislation. From all the above, we can draw a simple conclusion that whether laws are just or not should be judged by the moral standards of current local people.
第一段要说的是如何被界定,然后举出一夫多妻的例子.但最后的结论得出来有些突兀.前面在说不同的国家情况不同,然后说同一个国家不同的时期情况也会不同,然后就是结论当地的道德标准决定法律...这个地方在论证上不够严密.而且这个例子刚好证明了没有绝对公正的法律,法律是会变的.其实我觉得法律是很难以被界定的,从这个角度走会很辛苦的:(

According to the judgment mentioned above, we can divide laws into just and unjust ones reasonably(和上一段连接很紧密,小cow的连词用的一直很精彩~). Obeying just laws is not only the right but also obligation of citizens. Some private laws can deal with matters as contracts, property ownership and damage to one’s person or property caused by others. Such laws are made to protect individual rights. While some public laws are made to construct a peaceful, orderly and relatively stable society. For example, it is regulated in China that we must drive on the right-handed side of a two-way street. If people were allowed to choose at random which side of the street to drive on, the society would confront great chaos and disaster. Above all, obeying just laws not only favors individual lives in the society, but also regular and stabilizes the whole society.
单独看的话,这段写的很好.只是我对这段基于的假设持保留态度

On the other hand, it is undeniable that every body of the laws has its unjust or unreasonable items lying in it. Otherwise, no amendment would exist. The question is what we should do to response to unjust laws. I deem that to disobey and resist by force is not a wise way because it may induce a war as a result. The Civil War of America is caused by the controversy on the slavery. Although this debate seemed to end in the abnegation of slavery at last, so many people lost their life in the war. Unjust laws can be toppled or amended by peaceful means rather than such crude way. For example, to organize a peaceful parade or to draft out a proclamation to legislature will be all effective to solve the problem.
这段的TS说的是每部法律都有unjust的部分...我觉得有点乱.因为提纲说的是对不合理的法律要采用和平的手段,那就举马丁路德好了,通过和平方式废除黑人歧视法律,没有必要说法律中的条文的.而且,如果说每部法律都有不公正的地方,那读者就会问,存在不公正的法律还是不是just law

Generally speaking, laws play a significant role in current society. They protect human’s rights and help citizens live in harmony. It’s our obligation to obey laws. Though some stain exists in the current laws, it should be developed and amended through proper and reasonable methods. After all, to maintain a orderly and stable environment is the responsibility of every citizen.

AW考我们逻辑分析的能力,所以建议把这个题目再推敲一下.我最近状态不大好,个人意见仅供参考拉:)
再次佩服小cow熟练运用连词的水平~:rolleyes:

nekoUID: 162772

你不是吧你
落到第三个page了
给你改的人怎么那么少啊
你人品有问题啊
还不请大家喝茶吃东东...

azaleaUID: 196122

我先占座 等听完BG来改 嘿嘿

nekoUID: 162772

Issue17 (gogogo)
outline:
1. 提出观点，对于公正的法律应当遵守，而对于不公正的法律也不应该采取极端的手法抵抗
2. 首先，应该明确如何正确界定公正与不公正的法律
3. 对于维护社会和平稳定的公正的法律当然应该遵守，这是公民的义务
4. 对于不公正的法律应该采取和平的手段
5. 总结

正文：
If people can live separately and have no influence on the others, we can of course do whatever we like freely. But the fact is that we live in a society and are dependent to each other to some extent. Thereby, we should follow the laws of the society. To just laws, it is people’s responsibility to obey. When turnsturning to!!!!! to unjust ones, I deemdeem的意思是 承认 一般情况下使用这个词的态度是不太肯定的 如果你是提出看法总观点的时候不要用这个词 that we should not disobey and这里应该用nor吧.. resist by extreme means.
我觉得还是写得不错的 就是在最后的部分 是不是应该加个观点 你只是反驳了说那样不对不好 但是应该把和平的观点现在就提出来
英文写作不是中文 你的所有的观点一定要在最开头的时候写出来
切记切记

To begin with, we are supposed to distinguish just and unjust laws by some clear definition of them. 很好的开头和铺垫 不错 有想法The gauges people have to measure whether a law is just or not may differ from country to country.想倒塌了... 为什么要这么分析啊... 你这样说对你的论题没有什么好处的...我看不出来这是为底下的展开做论断的啊...555... For instance, most legislation adopts the laws of monogamy. While in some rare country, polygamy or even polyandry is carried on. Consequently, we should first judge a law in a certain country. In addition, people live in different times have different opinion......单复数的问题...... 如果你下次再写了的不用word改 哼唧 我不给你看我收集的DIF4的剧照和台词!, although in the same country. A typical example is that polygamy, which was licit before Qing Dynasty, is abolished in Chinese current legislation. From all the above, we can draw a simple conclusion that whether laws are just or not should be judged by the moral standards of current local people.
我不客气的说 我觉得这段是废话 虽然你的立意不同 但是跟后面的展开一点关系都没有
从题目上来看 全文都是围绕着一个should be obeyed来说
虽然是被动 但是它的中心是人
其实从just 和unjust来讲 我记得pooh或者是G猫或者是以前的谁写过一篇这样的文章
里面就提到了 一开始对just和unjust的区别
我记得我自己好象也写过这一篇的一个分析 imong好象在一期特训里也写过
我觉得你在分析just的时候应该围绕人
就是说 从每个人的观点来说 just跟unjust的界限是不同的
我记得当年我的例子是写的个人所得税还是消费税是否应该成为法律
每个人的出发点不一样 所以看问题有不同
但是总的来看unjust跟just 应该从对整个社会的利益 而非对某一个人来看
你觉得这样写是不是单纯比你那样写要好呢?
嘿嘿 各家意见

不过我说的那几篇你可以去搜索下
尤其是我记得当年pooh上场好象就是写的这篇文章
我还记得当时我在哪个论坛上看过一篇专门讲法律的文章
还转过来了 你搜索下


According to the judgment mentioned above, we can divide laws into just and unjust ones reasonably. Obeying just laws is not only the right but also obligation of citizens. 这里的衔接我觉得怪怪的 上句还在说遵守公正法律是权利也是义务 怎么下句就车到法律本身了 感觉你的意思是个因果 因为下面你说的各种法律有什么作用 所以我们才必须要遵守 那这样里面加点词或者句子衔接就更好了Some private laws can deal with matters as contracts, property ownership and damage to one’s person or property caused by others. Such laws are made to protect individual rights. While some public laws are made to construct a peaceful, orderly and relatively stable society. For example, it is regulated in China that we must drive on the right-handed side of a two-way street.这个例子... 跟上面说的contruct a peaceful, orderly and relatively stable society差好远...瀑布汗...你说个什么枪支禁止令啊什么的要更贴切一些吧... If people were allowed to choose at random which side of the street to drive on, the society would confront great chaos and disaster. Above all, obeying just laws not only favors individual lives in the society, but also regular and stabilizes the whole society.
首先要表扬一下 觉得段内的逻辑漂亮多了整齐多了 至少从各种连词看来 很有那个高粉作文的样子了
哈 但是neko为人的要求还是灰常之严格D 555 有时候我觉得我象飞哥一样总是挑人不是啊 你不要嫌弃我...:(
这一段怎么说 除了例子怪怪的其他的都还好 但是每个句子感觉又不是那么的地道
我真的有时候欠pia 要求太严格了 罪过罪过


On the other hand, it is undeniable that every挖 太狠了吧 每个法律都有不公正的地方吗? 打击面太大啊... 其实always在美国就相当于every了 老美很聪明的 不会把话轻易说死的 body of the laws has its unjust or unreasonable items lying in it. Otherwise, no amendment would exist. The question is what we should do to response to unjust laws.这句话 很不地道 很chinglish 建议改一下 尤其是what we should do 感觉怪怪的 I deem that to disobey and resist by force is not a wise way because it may induce a war as a result. The Civil War of America is caused by the controversy on the slavery. 怎么跳跃那么大 才刚caused by就到end in了 而且你想说明什么呢 想说明unjust law如果一开始就用武力解决会损失巨大 那么你的caused by这句存在就成了摆设 其实你要讲的意思我明白了 但是考虑一下怎么说更有条理Although this debate seemed to end in the abnegation of slavery at last, so many people lost their life in the war. Unjust laws can be toppled or amended by peaceful means rather than such crude way. For example, to organize a peaceful parade or to draft out a proclamation to legislature will be all effective to solve the problem.这个例子太抽象, for example一般接很具体的例子, 你这样的例子我觉得可以弄一个完整句然后后面加一个such as, 感觉更拉风啊 呵呵, 另外 段内总结呢?
而且我觉得这一段应该写得更详细一点比较好 因为从接受人的观点来说 just law should be obeyed这个很好解释跟接受
但是unjust shouldn't be obeyed 这个观点就不好接受了
所以这段是展现你个人口才的最佳时期
感觉就好象案件的疑点 你只有向法官解释清楚这一点才能取得"陪审团"的信任...
OMG 我承认 我看了一下午流金岁月 讲话有点那啥......:o

Generally speaking, laws play a significant role in current society. They protect human’s rights and help citizens live in harmony. It’s our obligation to obey laws. Though some stain exists in the current laws, it should be developed and amended through proper and reasonable methods. After all, to maintain a orderly and stable environment is the responsibility of every citizen.
这个结尾写得还是满不错的 嘿嘿
真D你的文章越来越有高分的样子了
加油哦
HOHO~~~

我继续DIF4...
你加油!

nekoUID: 162772

我决定以后这个颜色是我的专用改作文颜色!
正好跟天蓝的名字一样
挖卡卡卡
中毒......
不过发现相比来讲我更喜欢天蓝一点
我觉得miss woo太可怜了....
又扯远了

nekoUID: 162772

我的感觉
其实说到不同国家之间有不同也是非常正常的事情
其实你那样展开展开得已经很好了
问题就是
从题目的展开角度来谈
你第一段大谈国家跟国家之间对法律的just unjust的不同划分
事实上对后面的展开没有帮助啊
你想
一般情况下
所谓遵守和不遵守 是就同一个国家的公民来的啊
即使说到去到其他国家的外国人或者移民的人
就相当于minority的角色
感觉这样论述跟后面的脱节了...

neverstopcowUID: 2149686

嗯，我明白了。谢谢neko的说~~