argument200 【kito组智恩的作业】写得不好请狠拍！

智恩UID: 2160717

【题目】200 Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
【提纲】
1 statistics有问题（radom sampling；sample大小；好多男、女？）
2 even if statistics没有问题，那么只针对男的advertise是unreasonable（男不信advertisement；男不用麻醉剂；）
3 即使只针对男的打广告有用，那么宣传staff的sensitivity没啥用
【正文】【486字】
This argument recommends that advertising to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous. However the author only based on statistics which lacks credibility and validity, which render this argument is deficient in logic and not cogent.

First of all, the statistics the author quoted is problematic in a number of respects. To begin with, from the statistics quoted in the argument, but we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling, and have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all population as a whole. Unless the author provides detailed information about this statistics, this conclusion drawn from it is unconvincing as it stands. Moreover how many men and women respectively participated in this statistics is unknown. It is just as likely that more men took part in this study than women. If this is true, this statistics can not substantiate that more men were inclined to faint than women while visiting the dentist. Any of these scenarios, if true, would serve to undermine the author's validity of this statistics.

Moreover, even if this statistics is credible, the author relies on the additional assumption that dentists who make advertisement to attract patients should focus on the male consumers. A threshold flaw of this assumption is that men tend to believe the advertisement. Perhaps women prefer watching and trusting advertisement to men. If so, it is unreasonable to advertise only aiming at the male consumer. Also if we take such measure, it is highly possible to lose the female consumer. Second, the author unfairly neglects the fact that men might tend not to use anesthetic in the process of cure. If this is the case, the advertisement which emphasizes on the effectiveness of the anesthetic techniques could not attract to go to the dentists. In either event, the author could not justifiably rely on the mere fact that the advertisement aimed at attracting patients should pay attention to the male consumer and the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques.

Last but not the least, even assuming that the target of advertisement centralizing on the male consumer is useful, the assertion that the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is of no use to the advertisement. Common sense informs me there is no correlated relationship between such statement and the enhancement of the advertisement. Therefore this point could hardly lend support to the author’s recommendation.

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed in a number of aspects. To strengthen it, the author must provide us that whether this statistics is dependent on a random sampling and how many people participate in this statistics. Besides, we need to know the view of men about the credibility of the advertisement, whether they believe advertisement and the use of anesthetic among men.

果小冻UID: 208370

占位于此。哇哈哈

果小冻UID: 208370

This argument recommends that advertising to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous. However the author only based on statistics which lacks credibility and validity, which render this argument is deficient in logic and not cogent.[关于开头怎么写，我一直都很迷茫，现在越来越没有把握了。感觉上去，还是觉得你的有restate的意味，恩还是要多看范文哈]

First of all, the statistics the author quoted is problematic in a number of respects. To begin with, from the statistics quoted in the argument, but[这个but给的奇怪的，我看不清楚逻辑撒] we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling, and have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all population as a whole. Unless the author provides detailed information about this statistics, this conclusion drawn from it is unconvincing as it stands.[感觉这样的句子还是太泛泛了，要展开细说撒] Moreover how many men and women respectively participated in this statistics is unknown. It is just as likely that more men took part in this study than women. If this is true, this statistics can not substantiate that more men were inclined to faint than women while visiting the dentist. Any of these scenarios, if true, would serve to undermine the author's validity of this statistics.[恩。这个句子做结尾挺好的，嘿嘿我突然想到了某人的模板，恩和他的挺象的。]
[觉得还是深入不够，恩，提到错误后要说明错在哪里哈，然后具体的展开来，这样才有说服力撒。恩互勉]

Moreover, even if this statistics is credible, the author relies on the additional assumption[这个后面的不是假设吧。是建议吧] that dentists who make advertisement to attract patients should focus on the male consumers. [A threshold flaw of this assumption is that men tend to believe the advertisement.这才是假设撒][ Perhaps women prefer watching and trusting advertisement to men.这个句子跟在后面感觉没力] If so, it is unreasonable to advertise only aiming at the male consumer. [Also if we take such measure, it is highly possible to lose the female consumer.这个句子是干吗的呀。不懂哈] Second, the author unfairly neglects the fact that men might tend not to use anesthetic in the process of cure. [这个分论点没有说出你的观点，你是为了突出广告中强调的麻醉可能没有吸引力吧。恩我觉得观点的话，要直接和题目联系起来，不要再转弯吧]If this is the case, the advertisement which emphasizes on the effectiveness of the anesthetic techniques could not attract to go to the dentists. In either event, the author could not justifiably rely on the mere fact that the advertisement aimed at attracting patients should pay attention to the male consumer and the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques.

Last but not the least, even assuming that the target of advertisement centralizing on the male consumer is useful, the assertion that the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is of no use to the advertisement. Common sense informs me there is no correlated relationship between such statement and the enhancement of the advertisement. Therefore this point could hardly lend support to the author’s recommendation.[这个观点，以及你的提纲中的这个点看不懂的说]

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed in a number of aspects. To strengthen it, the author must provide us that whether this statistics is dependent on a random sampling and how many people participate in this statistics. Besides, we need to know the view of men about the credibility of the advertisement, whether they believe advertisement and the use of anesthetic among men.[恩，觉得论证还要深入，然后层次上要清晰一点，有的时候前后两个句子好象不是很顺。加油，一起努力哈。互相帮助]

智恩UID: 2160717

This argument recommends that advertising to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous. However the author only based on statistics which lacks credibility and validity, which render this argument is deficient in logic and not cogent.

First of all, the statistics the author quoted is problematic in a number of respects. To begin with, from the statistics quoted in the argument, we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling and have good reason to doubt if the sample is representative enough to reflect the general situation of all population as a whole. Unless the author provides detailed information about the spectrum of the subjects, this conclusion drawn from it is unconvincing as it stands. Moreover how many men and women respectively participated in this statistics is unknown. It is just as likely that more men took part in this study than women. Thus it is natural that more men were inclined to faint than women while visiting the dentists. Furthermore even if these two points have been taken account, there is an entire possibility that the extent of the male toothache is more serious than female patients, which leads to the more faint of men. Any of these scenarios, if true, would serve to undermine the author's validity of this statistics.

Moreover, even if this statistics is credible, the author unfairly suggests that dentists who make advertisement to attract patients should focus on the male consumers. A threshold flaw of this assumption is that men tend to believe the advertisement. Perhaps women prefer watching and trusting advertisement to men. If so, it is unreasonable to advertise only aiming at the male consumer. Also if we take such advertisement, it is highly possible to lose the female consumer.

In addition, no evidence is offered to guarantee the effectiveness of the advertisement which emphasizes the high anesthetic techniques. The author ignores a fact that the male patients might not use anesthetic during therapy. If this is the case, the advertisement which emphasizes on the effectiveness of the anesthetic techniques could not be an advantage to attract patients.

Last but not the least, even assuming that the target of advertisement centralizing on the male consumer is useful, the assertion that the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients is of no use to the advertisement. Common sense informs me there is no correlated relationship between such statement and the enhancement of the advertisement. Perhaps the consumers are much concerned about the cost of the dentistry treatment. Or perhaps the environment of the whole therapy procedure is more important than the sensitivity of staff to nervous. Without considering and ruling out these possibilities, the author's recommendation is indefensible.

To sum up, this argument is logically flawed in a number of aspects. To strengthen it, the author must provide us that whether this statistics is dependent on a random sampling and could be representative enough. Besides, we need to know the view of men about the credibility of the advertisement and whether they believe advertisement. Finally the author should provide us that whether anesthetic is a necessity in the teeth therapy process of men.

树之葳蕤UID: 2150890

在faint和distressed之间并没有直接的联系,可能是由于晕血或者其他生理兼心理原因,另外the auguer并没有提供证据证明the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff 和缓解疼痛之间有密切联系,可以吸引the male consumer，这也是个逻辑错误吧.

智恩UID: 2160717

谢谢楼上的指点！！