issue51 请不吝拍砖

looflirpaUID: 204752

51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效的。

观点：针对个人的教育方式不错，但很多因素制约使之对个人有效但对整个社会有效不是真有效。
1.首先，过于理想化，现有条件下这个方式很难做到广泛实施
2.即使能实施也会因成本过高而导致部分人失去了受教育的机会
3.学位制的共同要求，无法体现个性化教育的优势。
结论：这种教育设计方式的普遍有效有赖于上述条件的具备。


It is natural that people may agree such an issue that if education is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the effect of learning knowledge and skill for every individual will accordingly increase. As opposed to this commonly held view, I would argue that, though it is helpful to increase effect of individual education, this education method may not truly effective because it is so idealistic that neglect the education effect on the society as a whole.  

First, this education method is to some extent idealistic in that it is difficult to be widely practiced. Since available education resources, such as teachers and classrooms, are not unlimited, when they are used in training students who have a diversity of different needs and interests, much more time is needed because students, who are normally trained altogether, must be trained separately in order to satisfy their various requirements. As a result, the efficiency of the social overall education will decrease in despite of the rise of individual education effect.

Secondly, the cost of education would be very high even if there are enough resources to satisfy the individualized education. To practice this style of education demand not only teachers investing time and energy in studying what individual needs and interests in, but also more teaching resources than ever, all of these observably increase the cost of education and, at the same time, bereave many people, who are not rich enough to afford this new style of education, of the opportunity of being
educated. So it is difficult to regard this education method as effective.

In addition, the system of higher education today determines that it is not only not effective but only unnecessarily for schools to individualize their education so much that every individual needs and interests can be satisfied. For example, in universities and colleges, the main standard to testify the effect of education is whether students can gain there degree in stead of whether education can meet their requirements. In the circumstances, since the demand of each subject are always composed of certain curricula, it is enough for students with different needs and interests to take the same courses to attain degrees.

Admittedly, individualized education has its obvious advantages because it adequately considers the students' need, which can inspire students' creativity as much as possible. But it can widely take into effect to increase the level of whole society's education only after the there are enough teaching resources in the world, the decrease of cost of education due to it, and the existing system of highter education.

于飞UID: 182859

K队友改
It is natural that people may agree such an issue that if education is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, the effect of learning knowledge and skill for every individual will accordingly increase. As opposed to this commonly held view, I would argue that, though it is helpful to increase effect of individual education, this education method may not truly effective because it is so idealistic that neglect the education effect on the society as a whole.  

First, this education method is to some extent idealistic in that it is difficult to be widely practiced. Since available education resources, such as teachers and classrooms, are not unlimited, when they are used in training students who have a diversity of different needs and interests, much more time is needed because students, who are normally trained altogether, must be trained separately in order to satisfy their various requirements.这个句子太长，建议改短些 As a result, the efficiency of the social overall education will decrease in despite of the rise of individual education effect.

Secondly, the cost of education would be very high even if there are enough resources to satisfy the individualized education. To practice this style of education demand not only teachers investing time and energy in studying what individual needs and interests in, but also more teaching resources than ever, all of these observably increase the cost of education and, at the same time, bereave many people, who are not rich enough to afford this new style of education, of the opportunity of being
educated. So it is difficult to regard this education method as effective.
以上两段内容都很好，有理有据，可是论证部分均为一个长句子，这样不可取，不是很有节奏感
In addition, the system of higher education today determines that it is not only not effective but only unnecessarily for schools to individualize their education so much that every individual needs and interests can be satisfied.这句话看不懂 For example, in universities and colleges, the main standard to testify the effect of education is whether students can gain theretheir degree in stead排版错误 of whether education can meet their requirements. In the circumstances, since the demand of each subject areis always composed of certain curricula, it is enough for students with different needs and interests to take the same courses to attain degrees.

Admittedly, individualized education has its obvious advantages because it adequately considers the students' need, which can inspire students' creativity as much as possible. But it can widely take into effect to increase the level of whole society's education only after thethat there are enough teaching resources in the world, the decrease of cost of education due to it, and the existing system of highterhigher education.
.全文有理有据，思维连贯，而且用词多样化，可是感觉通篇文章每段都是用一个很长的句子来说道理，这样文章失去了节奏感，不利于分析的深度的体现，其实长句子显示功底，可是过分使用可能会引起反效果，短句子的连续也会使文章更有论证的气势。总的说来文章写得很好




作文水平有限，改错说错，望海涵 共同进步，加油

[ 本帖最后由 于飞 于 2006-2-7 14:11 编辑 ]

looflirpaUID: 204752

非常感谢，我说怎么写的那么累呢！写完后只改了写语法错误，没有通读几遍（实在没时间了），现在看看，自己也觉得不爽。今天的作业中争取改进！