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[i习作temp] issue208感谢各位兄弟姐妹修改指正! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-9 12:14:38 |显示全部楼层
Issue 208 the way people look, dress, and act reveal their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people
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1.        人民的行为举止服侍再一定程度上反映价值观
2.        但是仅仅通过行为举止未必真正反映社会的价值观
3. 全方面考虑

Although the contention that social members’ behaviours and appearance are significant indicators of social ideas and values does have some merits, yet other factors should be also taken into account to achieve the desirable judgement. A comprehensive examination and observation of both individuals and other aspects will accurately reveal the social values and ideas

Social members’ behaviours and appearance do to some extent mirror social values and behaviours. The culture and ideology under the context of a specific society exert a profound and widespread influence on people’s mind. Therefore, there is a strong tendency in their mind to ensure that their behaviours are in accordance with social values and ideas, which are shaped in a certain culture and ideology. For instance, in china, the values of thrifty, industriousness, and courtesy has long been thought highly of by our society. We can obviously find out the trace of these social values by observing people’s daily behaviours, hard work, and friendliness towards other people. The clothing of people also in a sense mirrors social values. For instance, during the period when china launched its policy of reform and opening up, people walked on the avenues with clothes of relatively the same style and dull colour. Through this fact, we can find that conservatism and adhering to tradition prevailed in that period. Therefore, people’s behaviours and appearance afford us with an angle to view and uncover the social ideas and behaviours.

Merely referring to the observation of social members’ behaviours and appearance might help us arrive at a false conclusion on social values and ideas. There is an old saying goes like this ( and I paraphrase) appearance is deceitful. The same saying can also be applied to people’s daily behaviours in a certain surroundings under a certain historical context. We have no reliable means to figure out whether people’s behaviours run contrary to their real intentions, especially when observing the people under cultural or political oppression. An apt illustration can be found in Chinese history in modern times, during the period of Great Cultural Revolution, Chairman Mao’s ideology served as a shackle fettering people’s mind and any resistance will result in harsh punishment. Meanwhile, people’s clothing is strictly required, and they had no choices. Under such a circumstance, people, especially those aspiring for personality and the freedom to convey their ideas have no alternative but to comply with such a cultural and political ruling. Therefore, we will come to a flawed conclusion if we merely rely on people’ behaviours that are contrary to their intentions. Some knowledge of cultural and political background will facilitate the birth of right judgement concerning social values and ideas.

In order to tell much about social values and ideas, aside from social members’ behaviours and clothes, other aspects such as the laws, architectures should also be seriously considered. Laws reflect the level of tolerance and attitudes towards the rightful behaviours, which is formulated by the masses’ social values. Architecture mirrors social values concerning culture and aesthetics. All of these can not be arbitrarily judged by observation of people’s behaviours and clothing.
In my final analysis, social members’ appearance and behaviours do to some extent reflect our social values and ideas. However, an judicious judgement rests on comprehensive consideration of every related aspect rather than behaviours and appearance alone.
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发表于 2006-2-9 13:37:32 |显示全部楼层
1.        人民的行为举止服侍再一定程度上反映价值观
2.        但是仅仅通过行为举止未必真正反映社会的价值观
3. 全方面考虑

Although the contention that social members’ behaviours and appearance are significant indicators of social ideas and values does have some merits, yet去掉 other factors should be also taken into account to achieve thea desirable judgementjudgment. A comprehensive examination and observation of both individuals and other aspects这两个并列有点怪的 will accurately reveal the social values and ideas

Social members’ behaviours and appearance do to some extent mirror social values and behaviours. The culture and ideology under the context of a specific society exert a profound and widespread influence on people’s mind. Therefore, there is a strong tendency( in their mind)of them to ensure that their behaviours are in accordance with social values and ideas, which are shaped in a certain culture and ideology. For instance, in china, the valuesvalue of thrifty, industriousness, and courtesy has long been thought highly of by our society. We can obviously find out the trace of these social values by observing people’s daily behaviours, hard work, and friendliness towards other people. The clothing of people also in a sense mirrors social values. For instance, (during the period when china launched its policy of reform and opening up)我觉得你最好说改革开放之前吧, people walked on the avenues with clothes of relatively the same style and dull colour. Through this fact, we can find that conservatism and adhering to tradition prevailed in that period. Therefore, people’s behaviours and appearance afford us with an anglewindow/mirror to view and uncover the social ideas and behaviours.

Merely referring to the observation of social members’ behaviours and appearance might help us arrive at a false conclusion on social values and ideas. There is an old saying goes like this ( and I paraphrase) appearance is deceitful. The same saying can also be applied to people’s daily behaviours in a certain surroundings under a certain historical context. We have no reliable means to figure out whether people’s behaviours run contrary to their real intentions, especially when observing the people under cultural or political oppression. An apt illustration can be found in Chinese history in modern times, during the period of Great Cultural Revolution, Chairman Mao’s ideology served as a shackle fettering people’s mind and any resistance will result in harsh punishment. Meanwhile, people’s clothing is strictly (required)unified, and they had no choices. Under such a circumstance, people, (especially those aspiring for personality and the freedom to convey their ideas)人们都必须遵守文化政治约束,尤其是那些追求个性自由的人。你想想,这个逻辑是不对的。应该这么说:那个时候人们都必须遵守文化政治约束,即使有很多人是想追求个性自由的, have no alternative but to comply with such a cultural and political ruling. Therefore, we will come to a flawed conclusion if we merely rely on people’ behaviours that are contrary to their intentions. Some knowledge of cultural and political background will facilitate the birth of right judgement concerning social values and ideas.

In order to tell much about social values and ideas, aside from social members’ behaviours and clothes, other aspects such as the laws, architectures should also be seriously considered. Laws reflect the level of tolerance and attitudes towards the rightful behaviours, which is formulated by the masses’ social values. Architecture mirrors social values concerning culture and aesthetics. All of thesethese指什么?指你前面提到的法律和建筑呢,还是文化和审美啊?晕了。有时候代词不能随便用,要具体化的 can not be arbitrarily judged by observation of people’s behaviours and clothing.
In my final analysis, social members’ appearance and behaviours do to some extent reflect our social values and ideas. However, ana judicious judgement rests on comprehensive consideration of every related aspects rather than on behaviours and appearance alone.

总体上层次还是很清楚的。就是B3论述得不好。感觉你自己也不太清楚到底还有哪些方面能够反映一个社会的价值观,具体又是如何反映的,看的人就更不清楚了。呵呵。
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发表于 2006-2-9 15:01:11 |显示全部楼层
Issue 208 the way people look, dress, and act reveal their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people

Although the contention that social members’ behaviours and appearance are significant indicators of social ideas and values does have some merits, yet other factors should be also taken into account to achieve the desirable judgement. A comprehensive examination and observation of both individuals and other aspects will accurately reveal the social values and ideas

Social members’ behaviours and appearance do to some extent mirror social values and behaviours. The culture and ideology under the context of a specific society exert a profound and widespread influence on people’s mind. Therefore, there is a strong tendency in their mind to ensure that their behaviours are in accordance with social values and ideas, which are shaped in a certain culture and ideology [社会的文化和意识形态对人们有影响,所以人们的外表和行为体现了社会的观点和价值,这个论证是非常有价值的,我也想过这样写,可写着写着就写成另一个原因了。]. For instance, in china, the values of thrifty, industriousness, and courtesy has long been thought highly of by our society. We can obviously find out the trace of these social values by observing people’s daily behaviours, hard work, and friendliness towards other people. The clothing of people also in a sense mirrors social values. For instance, during the period when [before] china launched its policy of reform and opening up, people walked on the avenues with clothes of relatively the same style and dull colour. Through this fact, we can find that conservatism and adhering to tradition prevailed in that period [at that time]. Therefore, people’s behaviours and appearance afford [Longman: afford (somebody) an opportunity/chance] us with an angle to view and uncover the social ideas and behaviours. [meilin这一段论证的很不错,收藏一下]

Merely referring to the observation of social members’ behaviours and appearance might help us arrive at [account for] a false conclusion on social values and ideas. There is an old saying goes like this ( and I paraphrase) appearance is deceitful. The same saying can also be applied to people’s daily behaviours in a certain surroundings under a certain historical context. We have no reliable means to figure out whether people’s behaviours run contrary to their real intentions, especially when observing the people under cultural or political oppression. An apt illustration can be found in Chinese history in modern times, during the period of Great Cultural Revolution, Chairman Mao’s ideology served as a shackle fettering people’s mind and any resistance will result in harsh punishment. Meanwhile, people’s clothing is strictly required, and they had no choices. Under such a circumstance, people, especially those aspiring for personality and the freedom to convey their ideas have no alternative but to comply with such a cultural and political ruling. Therefore, we will come to a flawed conclusion if we merely rely on people’ behaviours that are contrary to their intentions. Some knowledge of cultural and political background will facilitate the birth of right judgement concerning social values and ideas. [政治压迫导致人们外表和行为与内心想法不符,所以不能表现社会价值,这个观点也是非常好的,我也写到人们的外表和行为有时不能表现社会价值,但当时没想到很好的切入点,只好从人们思想的多样性出发,显然没有这里的论证有说服力,看来我得改改那部分了]

In order to tell much about social values and ideas, aside from social members’ behaviours and clothes, other aspects such as the laws, architectures should also be seriously considered. Laws reflect the level of tolerance and attitudes towards the rightful behaviours, which is formulated by the masses’ social values. Architecture mirrors social values concerning culture and aesthetics. All of these [these是指什么?如果指laws和architecture,people’s behaviors and clothing 当然不能reflect 也没有必要reflect。如果是social values 你第一段说有时可以represent 但现在变成了彻底否定,怎么解释都不通] can not be arbitrarily judged by observation of people’s behaviours and clothing.

In my final analysis, social members’ appearance and behaviours do to some extent reflect our social values and ideas. However, an [a] judicious judgement rests on comprehensive consideration of every related aspect rather than behaviours and appearance alone.

B1和B2写的都是非常好的,比我的要好。但是B3有点偏,题中是You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values,B3的结论如果是有些观点laws和architecture能够反映,而people’s behaviors and appearance 不能反映的,所以就不能tell much就更好了。

不管怎样,除了B3结尾有点问题,其他地方论证都很出色,值得学习。
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发表于 2006-2-9 15:02:24 |显示全部楼层
但是题目中的第一句话the way people look, dress, and act reveal their attitudes and interests.你只字未提,颇为遗憾
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发表于 2006-2-9 15:05:21 |显示全部楼层
meilin有空拍拍我的啊,也是Issue208

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
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RE: issue208感谢各位兄弟姐妹修改指正! [修改]

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issue208感谢各位兄弟姐妹修改指正!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-404480-1-1.html
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