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issue38★无敌拍场★第十期作业,欢迎猛拍 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-2-20 00:20:00 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
ISSUE38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

OUTLINE: a. Television is good (entertainment program make us relax; meanwhile, we could gain information from special program)
          b. However, reading books is also a indispensable way to gain knowledge.
          c. Books and television are both important for us in contemporary life. They should keep balance in the society.
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      According to the speaker, reading book is not as important as it was because people can learn much by watching television. Although I agree that the television play a evidentiary role in contemporary life, reading books is also a indispensable way to gain information. Thus, the speaker overstates the comparative significance of television than reading book. They are both important in our life.


      Admittedly, television holds certain advantages over books for imparting certain types of knowledge. Open the television, there are many channels we could choose. The entertainment program  make us relax, we could gain knowledge with good mood. Switching television channels, we could enjoy the channel in which we interested. Film and video generally provide a more accurate and convincing record than a book or other written account. Moreover, television can provide our information faster and more objective than reading books. Since the world is becoming a changing eventful place, with each passing day it becomes a more onerous task for journalists, authors, and book publishers to recount these events, and disseminate them in printed form. Thus, I foudamentally agree that television is superior to books in learning about modern and current event.


       However, reading books is also a indispensable way to gain knowledge. Reading books is a traditional way to gain knowledge in most colleges and areas. Books can record details that television and video do not or cannot show-such as documenting a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, or reflections of an event or experience. Besides, books do not break, and they do not depend on electricity, batteries, or access to airwaves or cable connections-all of which may or may not be available in a given place. Moreover, books readily enable readers to review and cross reference material, while televised broadcasts do not. Browsing among books allows for serendipity –unexpectedly coming cross an interesting and informative book while searching for something else, or for nothing in particular. Moreover, browsing through a library or bookstore is a pleasurable sensory experience for many people-an experience that speaker would have us forego forever.


       Finally, book and television are both important for us on contemporary life, they should be compensated with each other and then provide us more convenience and enjoyment .On one hand, television and video can provide us vivid and direct information while we can get more details and moving imagery by reading books. Meanwhile, television and books have their own function which make people get information and knowledge by different means. On the other hand, television and books have been compensated with each other. For instance, newspapers and magazines have become the main way that provide the newest messages to people while television and video has transferred information as an educated tool to help students learn the more vivid and complex knowledge.


     To sum up, television and reading book play a vital evidentiary role in our life. Television can make people relax and gain information quickly while reading books is also an important way to learn knowledge. In the final analysis, the optimal approach is to use both media side by side- television to keep us informed and to provide moving imagery, along with books to provide perspective and insight on that information and imagery.
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发表于 2006-2-20 20:54:49 |只看该作者
According to the speaker, reading book is not as important as it was because people can learn much by watching television. Although I agree that the television play an evidentiary role in contemporary life, reading books is also an indispensable way to gain information. Thus, the speaker overstates the comparative significance of television than reading book. 给人感觉这一句成了TS They are both important in our life. 开头的语序有点乱,可否调整一下 ?


      Admittedly, television holds certain advantages over books for imparting certain types of knowledge. Open the television; there are many channels we could choose. The entertainment program makes us relax; we could gain knowledge with good mood. Switching television channels, we could enjoy the channel in which we interested. Film and video generally provide a more accurate and convincing record than a book or other written account. Moreover, television can provide our information faster and more objective than reading books. Since the world is becoming a changing eventful place, with each passing day it becomes a more onerous task for journalists, authors, and book publishers to recount these events, and disseminate them in printed form. Thus, I fundamentally agree that television is superior to books in learning about modern and current event 感觉这段的论证比较散,建议把最后一句作为本段中心,提到前面,接着围绕此句展开论证.


       However, reading books is also an indispensable way to gain knowledge.转折的有点突然 Reading books is a traditional way to gain knowledge in most colleges and areas. Books can record details that television and video do not or cannot show-such as documenting a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, or reflections of an event or experience. Besides, books do not break??, and they do not depend on electricity, batteries, or access to airwaves or cable connections-all of which may or may not be available in a given place. Moreover, books readily enable readers to review and cross reference material, while televised broadcasts do not. Browsing among books allows for serendipity unexpectedly coming cross an interesting and informative book while searching for something else, or for nothing in particular. Moreover, browsing through a library or bookstore is a pleasurable sensory experience for many people-an experience that speaker would have us forego forever.这段似乎是在罗列理由,平行的说了好多个,其实没必要求多求全,关键是捉住一个理由就深入下去。


       Finally, book and television are both important for us on contemporary life, they should be compensated with each other( and then provide us more convenience and enjoyment)扯远了 .On one hand, television and video can provide us vivid and direct information while we can get more details and moving imagery by reading books. Meanwhile, television and books have their own function which makes people get information and knowledge by different means. On the other hand, television and books have been compensated with each other. For instance, newspapers and magazines have become the main way that provide the newest messages to people while television and video has transferred information as an educated tool to help students learn the more vivid and complex knowledge.其实本段和结尾段的作用相同,可以结合起来


     To sum up, television and reading book play a vital evidentiary这词好吗? role in our life. Television can make people relax and gain information quickly while reading books is also an important way to learn knowledge. In the final analysis, the optimal approach is to use both media (side by side)and television to keep us informed and to provide moving imagery, along with books to provide perspective and insight on that information and imagery.


总的来说全篇结构框架不错,但在在具体段的论证上散了一些,不够集中深入。
语言还不错,在论证上要下功夫哦。
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板凳
发表于 2006-2-24 09:24:00 |只看该作者
ISSUE38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."

According to the speaker, reading book is not as important as it was because people can learn much by watching television. Although I agree that the television play[s?] a[an?] evidentiary role in contemporary life, reading books is also a[an?] indispensable way to gain information. Thus, the speaker overstates the comparative significance of television than reading book. They are both important in our life.[总觉得把自己的观点再说清晰点比较好呢,呵呵]

Admittedly, television holds certain advantages over books for imparting certain types of knowledge. Open[Opening?] the television, there are many channels we could choose. The entertainment program[s?] make us relax, we could gain knowledge with good mood.[用娱乐节目学习?] Switching television channels, we could enjoy the channel in which we interested. Film and video generally provide a more accurate and convincing record than a book or other written account. Moreover, television can provide our information faster and more objective than reading books[为什么?]. Since the world is becoming a changing eventful place, with each passing day it[指代什么?] becomes a more onerous task for journalists, authors, and book publishers to recount these events, and disseminate them in printed form. Thus, I fundamentally agree that television is superior to books in learning about modern and current event[s?].

However, reading books is also a[an?] indispensable way to gain knowledge. Reading books is a traditional way to gain knowledge in most colleges and areas. Books can record details that television and video do not or cannot show-such as documenting a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, or reflections of an event or experience. Besides, books do not break, and they do not depend on electricity, batteries, or access to airwaves or cable connections-all of which may or may not be available in a given place[这个说法很新鲜呢,呵呵]. Moreover, books readily enable readers to review and cross reference material, while televised broadcasts do not. Browsing among books allows for serendipity –unexpectedly coming cross an interesting and informative book while searching for something else, or for nothing in particular. Moreover, browsing through a library or bookstore is a pleasurable sensory experience for many people-an experience that speaker would have us forego forever.[老用moreover不太好吧?]

Finally, book and television are both important for us on contemporary life, they should be compensated with each other and then provide us more convenience and enjoyment .On one hand, television and video can provide us vivid and direct information while we can get more details and moving imagery by reading books. Meanwhile, television and books have their own function which makes people get information and knowledge by different means. On the other hand, television and books have[为什么用这个时态?] been compensated with each other. For instance, newspapers and magazines have become the main way that provide the newest messages to people while television and video has transferred information as an educated tool to help students learn the more vivid and complex knowledge.[这个例子说明了什么?]

To sum up, television and reading[不要了吧?] book play a vital evidentiary role in our life. Television can make people relax and gain information quickly while reading books is also an important way to learn knowledge. In the final analysis, the optimal approach is to use both media side by side- television to keep us informed and to provide moving imagery, along with books to provide perspective and insight on that information and imagery.

大体结构没什么问题哈,不过有时例子不是特能说明问题哦,还有语态啊要注意一下,最好写完后用word改一下吧,呵呵,有些低级错误哦,还有就是最好列出提纲吧,让人好有针对性的看啊

加油哦~~~~~~~~~
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地板
发表于 2006-2-24 09:25:29 |只看该作者
我的联接,这篇写的不好,见谅了啊

http://www.gter.edu.cn/bbs/viewt ... e%3D1#pid1768129166
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RE: issue38★无敌拍场★第十期作业,欢迎猛拍 [修改]

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