Argument137 Tina小组作业-小陌 限时失败

zhouzheng1110UID: 2137017

137.The following appeared in an editorial in the Mason City newspaper.

"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

当前，Mason市很少利用附近的Mason河来进行娱乐活动，尽管对该地区居的几次调查一直指出他们把水上运动（游泳、垂钓和划船）作为他们最喜欢的娱乐形式。由于曾经存在对于这条河水质的投诉，居一定是因为他们认为河水不够干净才不在这里活动。但这种情况就会改变了：我们地区负责河流管理的部门公布了澄清Mason河的计划。因此，河流的娱乐用途很可能将会增加，因而Mason市的市委有必要增加用于改Mason河沿岸公共土地的预算。

提纲: 调查
极端选择只有一个原因
措施是否有效 计划是否会全部落实
不一增加.增加也不必改变公共土地.一部分就够了.
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The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that the budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River should be supported to increase by the Mason City council. The bases for this recommendation is the survey that water sports -swimming, fishing, and boating-is a favorite form of recreation to the local residents, however is rarely used for the quality of the water in the river. An additional reason given in support of this recommendation is a expectation that the recreational use of the river will be increase while the region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. While this argument has some merit, there are a few assumptions that deserve attention.

In the first part, the author provides nothing about the progress of the survey that relied little credible. It is entirely possible that the survey’s respondents are representative of the overall group of the local people. Also, the number of participants might constitute an in sufficiently small sample to draw any reliable conclusions, in other words, the less this group compared to the sample, the less reliable the survey’s results. In addition, we are not informs how many people were surveyed but did not respond and whether they are honesty and integrity to the respondents. Without given such information about the survey, the author cannot convince me to accept the conclusion.

In the second part, the author unfairly implies that there is only one reason that it is the dirty of the quality of the river breed that they do not use the nearby Mason River. However, some other alternative-one that would some factories along the river push the waste in the river or the trash of the town pushed into the river before they were disposed-might provide an optimal reason to the problem. Or perhaps, there is some poison substances passed down from the upper river, which is damage to the people’s health, contribute that the river is not suitable for recreation. For that matter, it is too hasty to conclude that the dirty of the river cannot focus us to reach the conclusion.

In the third part, the author fails to convince me that the plan announced by the government will be effective to clean the river. It is entirely possible that the problem of the quality of the river cannot be solved for the serious pollution, or that the extent of destroy of the quality of the river cannot be recovered in the near future. Even if the plan to clean the river is effective, we cannot assure that the plan will be carried out extremely. Perhaps some measures of the plan which needed lots of money may not carried out for some accidental affairs. Or perhaps, in the progress of carrying out the plan some people embezzle the money or use worse material to substitute the good one which made do harm to the effect of the plan. Without given more information of the plan and the progress of the carrying out the plan, the author cannot rely on the assumption that the quality of the river will be recovered by the use of the plan.

In the fourth part, the author provides no evidence whatsoever regarding the likelihood that the recreational use of the river will increase. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely possible that the faculty image of the river is still in the people’s mind that may not assure the use of the river will increase. Also, perhaps a new sports trend is populating in the town and only few people still interested in the water sports for recreation. Even if the recreational use of the river is increasing, the author cannot justify the conclusion that the lands along the Mason River are all need to improve. Perhaps there is only a few lands along the river will be used in the water sports. Or perhaps the government cannot afford to improvements for its extortionate cost. Lacking such evidence, I cannot accept the author’s conclusion that the government need to increase its budget for the improvements of the publicly lands along the river.

To sum up, the persuasiveness of the argument made by the author is undermined by the lack of fairness in the reason that this not supplent information about the survey and the reason due to the problem of quality of the river. Also the author should provide the effectiveness of the plan and the relationship of the increase use of the river and the good quality of the river.  

继续努力!

cathykkUID: 198671

The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that the budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River should be supported to increase by the Mason City council. The bases for this recommendation is the survey that water sports -swimming, fishing, and boating-is a favorite form of recreation to the local residents（survey都是比较细节的内容了，不适合出现再开头）, however is rarely used for the quality of the water in the river. An additional reason given in support of this recommendation is a expectation that the recreational use of the river will be increase while the region has announced plans to clean up Mason River.（有点罗索） While this argument has some merit, there are a few assumptions that deserve attention.
（建议开头剪短，只概述作者的结论和论据，不要过细；注意单复数！）

In the first part, the author provides nothing about the progress of the survey that relied little credible. It is entirely possible that the survey’s respondents are representative of the overall group of the local people. Also, the number of participants might constitute an in sufficiently small sample to draw any reliable conclusions, in other words, the less this group compared to the sample, the less reliable the survey’s results. In addition, we are not informs（informed） how many people were surveyed but did not respond and whether they are honesty and integrity to the respondents. Without given such information about the survey, the author cannot convince me to accept the conclusion.(那投诉呢？？？作者用投诉作为人们不去M的原因。调查说的是喜欢那些运动，和作者结论关系不大。
个人认为survey是argument的通病，随便批批就好，最好还是以前提结论的错误入手……希望高人也来探讨探讨！！！)

In the second part, the author unfairly implies that there is only one reason （that it is）for   the dirty（不能形容quality!） of the quality of the river breed that they do not use the nearby Mason River. However, some other alternative-one that would some factories along the river push the waste in the river or the trash of the town pushed into the river before they were disposed-might provide an optimal reason to the problem.(看的有点糊涂) Or perhaps, there is some poison substances passed down from the upper river, which is damage to the people’s health, contribute that the river is not suitable for recreation. For that matter, it is too hasty to conclude that the dirty of the river cannot focus us to reach the conclusion.

In the third part, the author fails to convince me that the plan announced by the government will be effective to clean the river. It is entirely possible that the problem of the quality of the river cannot be solved for the serious pollution, or that the extent of destroy of the quality of the river cannot be recovered in the near future. Even if the plan to clean the river is effective, we cannot assure that the plan will be carried out extremely. Perhaps some measures of the plan which needed lots of money may not carried out for some accidental affairs. Or perhaps, in the progress of carrying out the plan some people embezzle the money or use worse material to substitute the good one which made do harm to the effect of the plan.（例子有些极端） Without given more information of the plan and the progress of the carrying out the plan, the author cannot rely on the assumption that the quality of the river will be recovered by the use of the plan.

In the fourth part, the author provides no evidence whatsoever regarding the likelihood that the recreational use of the river will increase. Lacking such evidence, it is entirely possible that the faculty image of the river is still in the people’s mind that may not assure the use of the river will increase.Also, perhaps a new sports trend is populating in the town and only few people still interested in the water sports for recreation. （有点牵强）Even if the recreational use of the river is increasing, the author cannot justify the conclusion that the lands along the Mason River are all need to improve. Perhaps there is only a few lands along the river will be used in the water sports. Or perhaps the government cannot afford（arguer说的只是有没有必要增加预算） to improvements for its extortionate cost. Lacking such evidence, I cannot accept the author’s conclusion that the government need to increase its budget for the improvements of the publicly lands along the river.

To sum up, the persuasiveness of the argument made by the author is undermined by the lack of fairness in the reason that this not supplent information about the survey and the reason due to the problem of quality of the river. Also the author should provide the effectiveness of the plan and the relationship of the increase use of the river and the good quality of the river.  （结尾不错）
总的说来这篇思路不够清晰。。。乱乱的感觉
Critical thinking做的不错，不过还是得抓住主要错误先，把Critical thinking作为亮点。
要限时就不要写这么多嘛。呵呵