issue136 Gter四月''无名''小组第37次作业-Expire7

expire7UID: 2160574

TOPIC：ISSUE 136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
WORDS：533          TIME：上午 12:45:00          DATE：2006-3-24

Is the absence of choice a rare condition in people life, as the speaker said? In modern society, it is apparent that many people get accustomed to complaining that there is not any choice in their lives. However, I tend to favor the contention of the speaker that our world teems with choices and opportunities, even though some of them are not attractive and worthwhile.

The threshold reason why I fundamentally agree with the speaker's statement is that free option plays a vital role being the underpinning in democratic countries. In my observance, a effective and true democratic society always represents endowing people with the right to exhibit their voice and opinion, seek for content education and interests, and enjoy their selected lives. Consider, for example, the policy giving people right to vote. It is might be the most significant choice to human beings, which can efficiently exert the masses’ ideas and fully stimulate people to concentrate on politics relevant to themselves, and thus choice serve as catalyst to improve democratic society. If one country consciously lost or discarded the right of choice, it would lose the support of people, even damaged or overthrew at a time.

Another reason for my essential agreement with the outlook of the speaker is that, for better or worse, people living in today possess diverse choices, even some people have been sentenced to prison, who also owns limit right to choose. With the economy and society keeping developing without any cessation, new products, policies, discoveries, and technologies inevitably bring about unimaginable choices to people. Suppose, for example, that a person go shopping to select an advanced computer. At first, he ought to determine which brands he desirously expects to buy. Weather he prefer to normal IBM or seminal Sony. Secondly, he should decide Intel or AMD which is proper one to his applications and enjoyments. Thirdly, he requires selecting memory, mainboard, monitor and the like, to compose a whole computer. Comparing ten years ago, people have more choices to get one content and sound computer in market now.

Admittedly, in nowadays, more and more people feel that they gradually lose the chances to select and choose under some circumstances, although our society and policy indeed provide and guarantee people freely choosing. For one thing, it is certain that those people still own other choices for them, yet those choices are not appealing and good enough to let people select. In recent decades, some people sometimes complain that their jobs are not interest and can not fully apply their potential. In actual fact, they will not choose leaving and changing those states in that they find out that there is no appropriate choices to them. For another, rapidly and greatly improving chances to choose and select, more or less, leads to the counteractive fact that people indulge in a sea of choices and they can not find a sound and valid one, which results from that they are confused by huge choices.

To sum up, due to analysis and examples mentioned above, there is no doubt to draw a conclusion that, based on the democracy and developing society, the state of lacking choice is rare, even impossibly existing. But improper and free choices will result in that people occasionally feel lacking and absenting choices.


越写越少。时间也比较长。

yogurt4UID: 198389

yogurt4UID: 198389

TOPIC：ISSUE 136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."
WORDS：533          TIME：上午 12:45:00          DATE：2006-3-24

Is the absence of choice a rare condition in people life, as the speaker said? In modern society, it is apparent that many people get accustomed to complaining that there is not any choice in their lives. However, I tend to favor the contention of the speaker that our world teems with choices and opportunities, even though some of them are not attractive and worthwhile.

提出了自己的意见，开头没什么问题。


The threshold reason why I fundamentally agree with the speaker's statement is that free option plays a vital role being the underpinning in democratic countries. In my observance, a an effective and true democratic effective和society搭配有点怪。 society always represents  delete，直接endows endowing people with the right to exhibit their voice and opinion, seek for content education and interests, and enjoy their selected lives. Consider, for example, the policy giving people right to vote. It is might be the most significant choice to human beings, which can efficiently exert the masses’ ideas and fully stimulate people to concentrate on politics relevant to themselves, and thus 这个choice到底是什么选择？是投票，还是泛指所有的选择？如果是后者，这个句子就不能和前面的句子用and连接choice serve as catalyst to improve democratic society. If one country consciously lost or discarded the right of choice, it would lose the support of people, even damaged or overthrew at a time.

先看题目，没有选择的情况很少见。如果你要拿民主社会来支撑这个观点的话，ts要写成：在民主社会，没有选择的情况是少之又少，因为民主社会的体制给与了人们做出选择的权利-尤其是在政治观点上的选择。
你的ts又走偏了：在民主社会，自由选择是很重要的。
题目问得是有没有选择，而不是选择重不重要！这两个概念有差异。所以这一段写跑题了。

好，看后面，endow people with right还可以，然后举了一个投票的例子，这是没有问题的，但是投票这种选择，到底是在对社会，还是在对国家起作用？解释most significant 深度不够。

Another reason for my essential agreement with the outlook of the speaker is that, for better or worse, people living in today possess diverse choices, 后面单起一个句子让步感觉好一些 even some people have been sentenced to prison, who also owns limit right to choose. With the economy and society keeping developing without any cessation, new products, policies, discoveries, and technologies inevitably bring about unimaginable choices to people. Suppose, for example, that a person go shopping to select an advanced computer. At first, he ought to determine which brands he desirously use another word expects to buy. Weather he prefer to normal IBM or seminal Sony.weather后面不是一个完整的句子 Secondly, he should decide Intel or AMD which is proper one to his applications and enjoyments. Thirdly, he requires selecting memory, mainboard, monitor and the like, to compose a whole computer. Comparing ten years ago, people have more choices to get one content and sound computer in market now.

犯人监禁的内容放在这一段比较突兀，中心还是在经济与技术的发展，使得人们有很多选择上。毛病在例子的叙述上面，对于买电脑的步骤写的过于具体，反而没有很好的支撑论点。要把现在和过去的情况多做一下对比，比如：
我要买东西，可以通过internet的交流足不出户得到众多产品的信息，比较了abcd然后通过网购买到我先要的物品a，哪怕物品所在的销售地是我没有办法到达的。
如果是五十年前，我要买东西又会怎么样呢？商品交流和信息获取的限制，我可能只知道有a和b能够卖，然后卖a的地方又远，我不能去，所以只能买b。
展望未来，技术经济发展，efg。。。都冒出来了，而且应为制造业水平的提高，搞不好价格进一步下降云云。。。。

要多体现出选择出现的现象对比和原因的解释，不要只说可以选这选那，就没了。

ts要有经济，技术的字眼，people living in today possess diverse choices是你全文的总立场.


Admittedly, in nowadays, more and more people feel that they gradually lose the chances to select and choose under some circumstances, although our society and policy indeed provide and guarantee people freely choosing. For one thing, it is certain that those people still own other choices for them, yet those choices are not appealing and good enough to let people select. 这里 的衔接不好In recent decades, some people sometimes complain that their jobs are not interest and can not fully apply their potential. In actual fact, they will not choose leaving and changing those states in that they find out that there is no appropriate choices to them. 实际上，他们可以选择辞职，但是利益驱使或者生存所迫让他们避开了这种比枯燥或者没有发展潜力的工作更坏的选择，从而早成了一种没有选择的假象 。 For another, rapidly and greatly improving chances to choose and select, more or less, leads to the counteractive fact that people indulge in a sea of choices and they can not find a sound and valid one, which results from that they are confused by huge choices.

我明白你的意思，选择太多，结果不知道怎么选择。选择是有的，只是人们不想选。如果工作得例子可以从经济和自我实践的价值这些角度来考虑，你第二点又是谈什么选择，从什么角度来说的呢？  Sound and valid这样的形容词其实没有具体的语境，建议举个例子，或者多坐说明。


To sum up, due to analysis and examples mentioned above, there is no doubt to draw a conclusion that, based on the democracy and developing society, the state of lacking choice is rare, even impossibly existing.  impossibly existing的表达有点怪 But improper and free choices will result in that people occasionally feel lacking and absenting choices.
body1谈民主社会，body2谈经济科技发展，这两点在结构上不容易衔接好。可以在开头，或者每段的ts做文章。例子写的比较散。总的来说还可以，我拍的比较狠，只说坏话不说好话滴:D


小毛病是，more or less, for better or worse,该不该出现都跳出来现一下子，Verbal的ing形式用的好多，能注意就注意一下吧 = =|||||