我的5T同主题写作第一期

lanccyUID: 2156906

我的拙作，哈哈！
When faced with the dilemma of whether to build a large factory near our community or not, some people would strongly oppose because of the potential threat of pollution. This may sounds reasonable, however, it dose not bear close analysis when we find a large factory can provide job opportunities, promote local transportation and increase government tax revenue. In fact, the merits of building a large factory outweigh its drawbacks.

To begin with, a large factory creates a great number of job vacancies. If a factory were to operate, not only managers, senior technicians are needed, but also lots of workers are essential. Besides, the job opportunities will go to other industries as well, like catering, lodging and shopping and so forth. Since our society is now experiencing a steady growth of the working force whereas the increase of the positions is relatively slow, the building of such a large factory will definitely reduce the stress.

The second reason why a large factory should be built follows closely on the first one: a profitable factory leads to the promotion of local transportation. Both the input of crude materials and the output of final products require a transportation network that extends to cover or connect with most of the important industrial and commercial regions. The consequence of building such a factory is not beyond our imagination. Local inhabitants benefit from the transportation network significantly, finding it more convenient to commute to work, go shopping and visit friends.

Moreover, a profitable factory contributes a lot to the local government’s revenue. The more profit the factory earns, the more tax should it turn in to the government. The revenue generated from tax can, in turn, be utilized in providing more public facilities which finally leads to the prosperity of the community and the improvement of the residents’ living standards.

Although I have to confess that some disadvantages of building a factory such as pollution and noise is inevitable, nor is the profitability of factory guaranteed, the advantages are so evident that it is sagacious to approve the proposal for the sake of the majority in the community.

[ 本帖最后由 lanccy 于 2006-4-12 22:29 编辑 ]

lanccyUID: 2156906

最后一句的nor的用法拿捏不准啊，似乎应该改成and that even the profitability is not guanranteed会好一点吧。

lanccyUID: 2156906

but also a portion of workers, as is known to us, are essential.

cannylee0621UID: 2177843

dilemma of whether…… of 后面加了句子，语法上似乎有问题。不敢断定
not only managers, senior technicians are needed  需要倒装
The second reason why a large factory should be built follows closely on the first one
这句我喜欢。占字数的好方法，学会了。呵呵
be utilized in providing more public facilities which finally leads  lead不该用单数了

cannylee0621UID: 2177843

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
我的同题写作，互改一下吧。
写的真好，自愧不如呢。
喜欢死了。
抄下来，背下来。

lanccyUID: 2156906

少加了个逗号，我是想这么写来者的，be utilized in providing more public facilities,which finally leads ，which我是想用来指代前面整个句子的

lanccyUID: 2156906

我还有几篇，烦劳也帮忙看一下
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=443333

xizzhuUID: 2195156

When faced with the dilemma of whether to build a large factory near our community or not, some people would strongly oppose because of the potential threat of pollution (very good sentence) . This may sounds reasonable, however, it dose(does) not bear close analysis when we find a large factory can provide job opportunities, promote local transportation and increase government tax revenue. In fact, the merits of building a large factory outweigh its drawbacks.  (very good introduction)

To begin with, a large factory creates a great number of job vacancies (number of jobs). If a factory were to operate, not only managers, senior technicians are needed, but also lots of workers are essential (??). Besides, the job opportunities will go to other industries (business) as well, like catering, lodging and shopping and so forth. Since our society (what is "our society"?   China?) is now experiencing a steady growth of the working force whereas the increase of the positions is relatively slow, the building of such a large factory will definitely reduce the stress.
      
The second reason why a large factory should be built follows closely on the first one: a profitable factory leads to the promotion of local transportation. Both the input of crude materials and the output of final products require a transportation network that extends to cover or connect with most of the important industrial and commercial regions. The consequence of building such a factory is not beyond our imagination. Local inhabitants benefit from the transportation network significantly, finding it more convenient to commute to work, go shopping and visit friends.

Moreover, a profitable factory contributes a lot to the local government’s revenue. The more profit the factory earns, the more tax should it turn in to the government. The revenue generated from tax can, in turn, be utilized in providing more public facilities which finally leads to the prosperity of the community and the improvement of the residents’ living standards. (the law require all factories pay tax , no matter it makes profit or not.   more people and more factories can make more tax.)

Although I have to confess (admit) that some disadvantages of building a factory such as pollution and noise is inevitable, nor is the profitability of factory guaranteed, the advantages are so evident that it is sagacious to approve the proposal for the sake of the majority in the community.

[ 本帖最后由 xizzhu 于 2006-4-14 11:25 编辑 ]

xizzhuUID: 2195156

我还有一篇，烦劳也帮忙看一下
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

polymathUID: 179557

issue的模板痕迹太重！