同主题第二篇 欢迎互拍^_^

woodygtUID: 2136751

topic166
再次超时10分钟。。。

The difference between children and adults has many aspects, mentally, physically and socially. In the growth of one person from a child to an adult, experiences play a more important part than other factors such as age, wisdom or any special ceremonies. And the best thing to indicate that a person has grown up to an adult is his experiences, especially the ones he gained from facing difficulties and dangers.

        First, a sign of an adult is that he can think and act as a grownup, which means that he should be calm when facing dangers, and should be decisive when treating problems. All of these cannot be learned only from the elders but from ones own experience. Every person will be afraid when he heard the fire alarm for the first time. Some of them just do not know what to do but just start crying. But after the first time, one can learn what he should do to protect himself from being injured, then he will be act more maturely when dealing with the similar condition. So experiences can help people grow to an adult.

        Second, as everyone in the world is living in the society, he must deal with the relationship with his neighbors, friends and many others. It is also a sign of being an adult that one can maintain all this relationships well. And experiences can help a lot also. When invited to a formal party for the first time, one may be quite embarrassed to meet and talk to so many strangers. Instead, he may only sit in a corner and do nothing during the whole party. Then no matter how old he is, he is now acting as a child. Experience can help people to overpass the problem and make a real member of the society.

        People always take age as a standard to identify children and adults, but the age can only show that a person is mature in physical. In my opinion, the mental and social parts may be more important for every adult. So when one has got a lot experiences with problems and dangers, he is an adult no matter how old he is.

不知道这么写行不行，我是实在想不出什么特定的experience了，只好说了个比较笼统的概念。
另外感觉第三段写的不好，例子写的太多了，还没表述完整。
感觉写TWE的一大问题就是不知道怎么用比较简明的话表达比较完整的意思。

woodygtUID: 2136751

自己顶下

夜一UID: 2130338

嗯。。。是我自己太吹毛求疵了么？感觉楼主的文章跟其他很多文章一样的问题，满篇写的都是how to distinguish a child and an adult，而不是focus on the events asked by ETS，这样做真的没问题么？请求牛人们来回答一下这个问题吧，我实在是弄不懂了

清荷才露UID: 2163929

The difference between children and adults has many aspects, mentally, physically and socially. In the growth of one person from a child to an adult, experiences play a more important part than other factors such as age, wisdom or any special ceremonies. And the best thing to indicate that a person has grown up to an adult is his experiences, especially the ones(those) he gained from facing difficulties and dangers.

First, a sign of an adult is that he can think and act as a grownup, which means that he should be calm when facing dangers, and should be decisive when treating(我觉得treat在这里不能用作“处理”的意思，因为它强调的是一个物理或者化学处理，并非deal with) problems. All of these cannot be learned only from the elders but from ones own experience. Every person will be afraid when he heard the fire alarm for the first time. Some of them just do not know what to do but just start crying. But(However,) after the first time, one can learn what he should do to protect himself from being injured, then he will be act more maturely when dealing with(facing) the(/) similar condition(s). So experiences can help people grow (up) to an adult.

Second, as everyone in the world is living in the society, he must deal with the relationship with his neighbors, friends and many others.(我觉得直接用everyone in the society must deal with the relaionship/get along well with his neighbors, friends and others) It is also a sign of being an adult that one can maintain all this relationships well. And experiences can help a lot also(also不能放在句末的，改成as well比较好). When (是否要加being?) invited to a formal party for the first time, one may be quite embarrassed to meet and talk to so many strangers. Instead, he may only sit in a(the好像in a corner有偷偷摸摸的意思。。。) corner and do nothing during the whole party. Then no matter how old he is, he is now acting as a child. Experience can help people to overpass the problem and make a real member of the society(这句话好像有点问题).

People always take age as a standard to identify children and adults, but the age can only show that a person is mature in physical. In my opinion, the mental and social parts may be more important for every adult(to make a person adult). So when one has got a lot experiences with problems and dangers(experienced a lot problems and dangers), he is an adult no matter how old he is.

还有我觉得中间只有2段好像太少了，不知道你怎么看。可以压缩已经写了的2段再添一段。:)
还有你写的文章和我原来的那篇有点像，但是好像是偏题了的。。。我也不是很确定，希望有牛人能来给我们解释一下。

我的：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

woodygtUID: 2136751

thank you all!

这篇文章确实有点跑题了，现在还不太习惯TWE的思路，回头再重写一遍。

susan8940UID: 160449

The difference between children and adults has many aspects, mentally, physically and socially. In the growth of one person from a child to an adult, experiences play a more important part than other factors such as age, wisdom or any special ceremonies(可把experience放后面强调,如comparing with other factors..,experiences play a more ..). And the best thing to indicate that a person has grown up to an adult(有些重复,可删去to an adult) is his experiences, especially the ones(those) he gained from facing difficulties and dangers.

        First, a sign of an adult is that he can think and act as a grownup, which means that he should be calm when facing dangers, and should be decisive when treating problems. All of these cannot be learned only from the elders but from ones own(owning) experience. Every person will be afraid when he heard the fire alarm for the first time. Some of them just do not know what to do but just start crying. But after the first time, one can learn what he should do to protect himself from being injured, then he will be act more maturely when dealing with the similar condition. So experiences can help people grow to an adult.

Second, as everyone in the world is living in the society, he must deal with the relationship with his neighbors, friends and many others. It is also a sign of being an adult that one can maintain all this relationships well. And experiences can help a lot also. When invited to a formal party for the first time, one may be quite embarrassed to meet and talk to so many strangers. Instead(Therefore), he may only sit in a corner and do nothing during the whole party. Then no matter how old he is, he is now acting as(like) a child. Experience can help people to overpass the(删去) problem and make a real member of the society.

People always take age as a standard to identify children and adults, but the age can only show that a person is mature in physical. In my opinion, the mental and social parts may be more important for every adult. So when one has got a lot experiences with problems and dangers, he is an adult no matter how old he is.

至于是否偏题,就要看experience是不是属于event了吧,感觉是个广义的概念.
第三段举过party的例子可以反过来讲,多参加了,有了experience怎么使一个人的表现有所变化,以至于make him an adult.总之多侧重how to make an adult吧.
愚见:)
mine:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 susan8940 于 2006-4-19 19:04 编辑 ]