topic 162 自我感觉良好

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

把你用的顺手的常常出现的单词找同义词~~~替换~~~懂了？？

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

谢谢

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

不谢~~我刚从雅思解放~~来拯救托福的人们~~~

yogurt4UID: 198389

喜欢lz的标题,进来支持下

yidi mercuryUID: 195299

哈哈~~这个很朝~~~

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

很粗略地作了些润色
Topic 162
A contemporary trend surging nowadays is that the income of some famous athletes and entertainers is booming up .For example, Philip Cheng, a famous Hong Kong actor, whose name frequently appears on starring lists of a great variety of movies, is estimated to possess a wealth over one billion dollars as well as several splendid villas throughout the world. The mass shows controversy to such phenomena. Some people consider these celebrities' salaries too high to correspond to their achievements .In the contrary,I think these famous people deserve what they earn for their revenue is based on the role they play in the society. The crucial contribution they do to the world goes with the followings.



The first indispensable contribution is their magnificent influence to our mass. These well-known people not only offer us entertainment but also affect the way in which we look on our circumstance, behave in the public, and decide on certain issues. Yao Ming, for instance, being the first Chinese to be so successful in the National Basketball Association (NBA), attracts more and more publicity on basketball among the Chinese people as well as demonstrates the talent and ability of Chinese people to the Americans. How can we say that such an athlete with so great compact does not deserve his current 50 –million-dollar revenue ? According to the immense effect of such luminaries, their high salaries do not seem to be over –paid.



Another important function of these notable people lies on their aid to commerce. Participating in intense competitions, more and more incorporations and firms are seeking pop singers , soccer stars and so forth to promote their products, say, Pepsi Cola invites dozens of soccer stars including the world-famous David Beckham to draw public attention among consumers and in return, they made a fortune from Pepsi Cola. Do not their positive effects on commerce agree the income they get? It seems obvious.



Last but not the least, stars do significant promotion to certain public affairs. One of the most celebrated Hollywood actress, Audrey Heburn, starring Roman Holiday and other several movies, was also a key figure in an organization of the United Nations, concerning the famine in Africa. It was her reputation and endeavor that helped to gain huge amounts of devotion from all around the world. Also thanks to the contribution of the outstanding rock singer Michael Jackson does the worldwide starve draw so much interest. Considering their great achievements, how can their payment thought to be superfluence and out-of-nothing?



The great roles these athletes and entertainers play determine that they are qualified to be well-paid. We mass are not necessarily to blame or demure their high salaries, for they really deserve them and we need them to make our world a better place to live in.

论点的问题改起来比较大，择日再做，先做些词汇上的改进，并请牛人指教
postscript:
请问“影响”一词有多少表达法？

[ 本帖最后由 mysteryfigure 于 2006-4-23 12:07 编辑 ]

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

没人发表评论？

manch4UID: 2185845

写得不错，例子很丰富，我觉得应该至少5.5分，但是要在30分钟内写出这样的一篇作文时间有点紧张啊！

mysteryfigureUID: 2184551

确实，本文花了蛮多时间