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考前拼命磨刀,作文第七期,大家快出手吧:) [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-5-6 15:09:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
没写过几篇呢,超了会儿

Existing around the world, music do play an essential part in people’s life. In the music, some unbosom themselves, some get relaxed, and some others receive the information of different cultures.

People express their emotions through the music. Since human beings are called the advanced animals with various kinds of emotions. Sometimes we get excited, sometimes we feel sorrow, and sometimes we catch the feeling of love. During these periods, people find that hardly can they express their feelings by the only way of speaking out what is in their minds word by word. Naturally, they choose music a better way. For instance, in the age of adolescence young men prefer playing guitar under the windows of their lovers, usually singing the songs at the same time. Undoubtedly, no matter how cold the girls’ hearts are, they easily thaw in front of the harmonious rhythm.

Furthermore, music relax the busy-working people and help them run out of the enormous stress which are brought by the rapid paced world. Statistics gathered by the BusinessWeek show that more and more big corporations play the background music in the offices during the working time in order to enhance the staff’s efficiency and create a peaceful working environment.

The most crucial reason music plays an important part in people’s life from the ancient time till now is that music symbolize a sort of culture. In different parts of the world, music is obviously different from each other. The composer put the essential information of a culture in the lyrics and made an organic whole with the rhythm. As long as the civilization exists, people continue singing or playing the music generation by generation. Therefore, we can hear distinct music in the religious rituals, the weddings, and the important festivals in different regions.

Coming along with the human beings, music has been developed for hundreds of years. Through it, people unbosom themselves, get relaxed, and receive the information of different cultures. Music makes our life more and more wonderful.
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沙发
发表于 2006-5-6 19:21:55 |只看该作者
Existing around the world, music do play an essential part in people’s life. In the music, some unbosom themselves, some get relaxed, and some others receive the information of different cultures.some在这指代不明

People express their emotions through the music. Since since不能直接用在单句里human beings are called the advanced animals with various kinds of emotions. Sometimes we get excited, sometimes we feel sorrow, and sometimes we catch the feeling of love. During these periods, people find that hardly can they express their feelings by the only way of speaking out what is in their minds word by word. Naturally, they choose music as a better way. For instance, in the age of adolescence young men prefer playing guitar under the windows of their lovers, usually singing the songs at the same time. Undoubtedly, no matter how cold the girls’ hearts are, they easily thaw they are easily thawed in front of the harmonious rhythm

Furthermore, music relax relaxes the busy-working people and help them run out of the enormous stress which are brought about by the rapid paced world. Statistics gathered by the BusinessWeek show that more and more big corporations play the background music in the offices during the working time in order to enhance the staff’s efficiency and create a peaceful working environment.仿佛在哪看过这个例子;P

The most crucial reason that music plays an important part in people’s life from the ancient time till now is that music symbolize symbolizes a sort of culture. In different parts of the world, music is obviously different from each other. The composer put the essential information of a culture in the lyrics and made an organic whole? with the rhythm. As long as the civilization exists, people continue singing or playing the music generation by generation. Therefore, we can hear distinct music in the religious rituals, the weddings, and the important festivals in different regions.

Coming along with the human beings, music has been developed for hundreds of years. Through it, people unbosom themselves, get relaxed, and receive the information of different cultures. Music makes our life more and more wonderful.

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板凳
发表于 2006-5-6 21:37:03 |只看该作者
复制下啦,明天贴上来哈

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地板
发表于 2006-5-7 09:04:46 |只看该作者
好啦

Existing around the world.doc

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发表于 2006-5-7 22:30:33 |只看该作者
呵呵,谢谢楼上二位啦,最近大家都很忙呢:)
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发表于 2006-5-8 18:03:06 |只看该作者
Existing around ->around?改一个介词吧

Since human beings are called the advanced animals with various kinds of emotions. -〉这是一个分句,后面的主句呢?

Naturally, they choose music a better way.-〉加as a better...


they easily thaw in front of the harmonious rhythm.
->被动

crucial reason that music -〉that?建议改成for...

建议首段再多写一点,感觉有点干瘪,其他都很不错了:)
我见青山多妩媚,料青山,见我应如是——上善若水,过而不留。

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RE: 考前拼命磨刀,作文第七期,大家快出手吧:) [修改]

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考前拼命磨刀,作文第七期,大家快出手吧:)
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-458201-1-1.html
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