Sample PSAT Questions-Writing Skills2-Improving Pa

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Improving Paragraphs
questions require you to make choices about improving the logic, coherence, or organization in a flawed passage.

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Here are some general hints for Improving Paragraphs.

Read the entire essay quickly to determine its overall meaning. The essay is meant to be a draft, so don't be surprised if you notice errors. Don't linger over those errors.


Make sure that your answer about a particular sentence or sentences makes sense in the context of the passage as a whole.


Choose the best answer from among the choices given, even if you can imagine another correct response.

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The following passage is an early draft of an essay. Some parts of the passage need to be rewritten. Read the passage and select the best answer for the question that follows. In making your decision, follow the conventions of standard written English. (Typical essays are approximately 225 words.)

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question 1 of 7

[NOTE: Boldface replaces underlining in the sample question below.]
Passage:

   (1) Recently a group of workers from a clothing factory in my hometown picketed peacefully in front of a department store. (2) They carried signs, and passing shoppers were urged by them to buy products that were made in the United States. (3) A newspaper article suggested that they were wrong. (4) It pointed out that nearly all stores now sell goods that are not made in this country. (5) However, I would argue that the demonstrators are right, consumers should think about the effect they can have on industries here in the United States.

Question: In context, which is the best way to revise and combine the underlined portions of sentences 3 and 4 (reproduced below)?

A newspaper article suggested that they were wrong. It pointed out that nearly all stores now sell goods that are not made in this country.

(A) A newspaper article suggested that the demonstrators were wrong, pointing out
(B) They were wrong, a newspaper article suggested, it pointed out that
(C) Suggesting that they are wrong, in a newspaper article it says
(D) The newspaper article suggests that the shoppers were wrong,
(E) In the newspaper article was the suggestion that they were wrong and


(from the October 1996 test)

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Correct Answer: A
Explanation: This question asks you to connect two related ideas. Choice (A) is the correct answer. Choice (B) incorrectly and awkwardly connects several independent clauses with a comma. In choices (C) and (E), the pronoun "they" is ambiguous and could refer to either "workers" or "shoppers." Choice (C) also has a structural problem. The opening phrase, "Suggesting that they are wrong," should be immediately followed by the phrase "a newspaper article" that it modifies. Choice (D) may be grammatically correct, but the use of the definite article "The" and the present-tense verb "suggests" in choice (D) is inappropriate in the context of the passage. The correct sentence reads: A newspaper article suggested that the demonstrators were wrong, pointing out that nearly all stores now sell goods that are not made in this country.

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question 2 of 7

Passage:
   (1) In the last fifty years, computers in many forms have become increasingly accessible. (2) For example, today the calculator is regarded as an essential tool for basic calculations by students and business people. (3) Word processing is considered indispensable by most writers, researchers, and office workers. (4) In addition, many families use computers to organize information, to balance budgets, and to provide entertainment.

Question: Which of the following would be the most suitable sentence to insert immediately after sentence 1?

(A) The race is on to produce the "ultimate" computer.
(B) I have found the computer somewhat difficult to learn to operate.
(C) Many people are understandably intimidated by computers.
(D) They are now so common that they have a profound effect on daily life.
(E) Modern telephones belong to the family of computers.


(from the October 14, 1997 test)

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Correct Answer: D
Explanation: This question asks you to recognize that sentence (1) does not adequately introduce the examples described in sentences (2), (3), and (4). The examples do more than illustrate how "increasingly accessible" computers have become; they point out how indispensable and widespread the use of computers has become. The only choice that expresses this idea is choice (D). The correct paragraph reads:

   In the last fifty years, computers in many forms have become increasingly accessible. They are now so common that they have a profound effect on daily life. For example, today the calculator is regarded as an essential tool for basic calculations by students and businesspeople. Word processing is considered indispensable by most writers, researchers, and office workers. In addition, many families use computers to organize information, to balance budgets, and to provide entertainment.

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question 3 of 7

Passage:
   (1) Barbara Hendricks had been pursuing a degree in mathematics and chemistry from the University of Nebraska with the intention of fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. (2) In 1968, however, the direction of her life changed when she decided that her future was in singing classical music.

   (3) Hendricks is always enjoying music, and so her decision to change careers was not completely unexpected. (4) When she was a child in Stephens, Arkansas, she often sang in the Methodist church.

Question: In context, which of the following revisions is necessary in sentence 3?

(A) Replace "Hendricks" with "she".
(B) Replace "is always enjoying" with "had always enjoyed".
(C) Replace "and so" with "but".
(D) Replace "decision" with "decisions".
(E) Replace "to change" with "of changing".


(from the October 18, 1997 test)

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Correct Answer: B
Explanation: This question asks you to make the one necessary correction in sentence 3. Choice (B) is the correct answer because the past perfect tense "had always enjoyed" is consistent with the tenses used elsewhere in the passage. The correct paragraph reads:

   Barbara Hendricks had been pursuing a degree in mathematics and chemistry from the University of Nebraska with the intention of fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. In 1968, however, the direction of her life changed when she decided that her future was in singing classical music.

   Hendricks had always enjoyed music, and so her decision to change careers was not completely unexpected. When she was a child in Stephens, Arkansas, she often sang in the Methodist church.

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question 4 of 7

Passage: (The paragraph below is the first paragraph of a passage that appeared in the test.)
   (1) Advertisements are present wherever we go. (2) They enter our houses in newspapers, magazines, and on our television screens. (3) Television advertisements are used not only to sell products but, more importantly, to sell ideas. (4) It is in selling ideas that ads have the most significant impact. (5) They interrupt most television programs every few minutes. (6) Many ads imply that if we buy specific products then we will be happy. (7) An example of this strategy is an ad in which a woman is shown driving her family in a new car. (8) She has a smile on her face, a new car will bring people happiness.

Question: Sentence 5 would make the most sense if placed after

(A) Sentence 1
(B) Sentence 2
(C) Sentence 6
(D) Sentence 7
(E) Sentence 8


(from the October 17, 1998 test)

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Explanation: This question asks you to recognize that sentence 5 is an expansion of the thought introduced in sentence 2 and properly belongs immediately after that sentence in the paragraph. To place the idea later in the paragraph disrupts the progress of ideas that the writer is developing. The correct paragraph reads:

   Advertisements are present wherever we go. They enter our houses in newspapers, magazines, and on our television screens. They interrupt most television programs every few minutes. Television advertisements are used not to sell products but, more importantly, to sell ideas. It is in selling ideas that ads have the most significant impact. Many ads imply that if we buy specific products then we will be happy. An example of this strategy is an ad in which a woman is shown driving her family in a new car. She has a smile on her face; the new car has supposedly brought her happiness.

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question 5 of 7

Passage: (The paragraphs below are the first two paragraphs of a passage that appeared in the test.)
   (1) I have just read an excellent book called "Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters' First 100 Years." (2) Usually I do not enjoy autobiographies. (3) I could hardly put this one down. (4) It is about Sadie Delany, who is 103 years old, and her "little" sister Bessie, she is 101.

   (5) The sisters grew up in North Carolina in times that were not easy for African Americans. (6) Around 1916 they moved to New York City and went to Columbia University at their father's urging. (7) He tells them, "You are college material. (8) And if you don't go, shame on you!" (9) Sadie became a teacher and Bessie a dentist. (10) The second Black woman dentist in New York.

Question: In context, which is the best version of "He tells them" in sentence 7?

(A) (As it is now)
(B) Their father tells them,
(C) This is because he tells them,
(D) He had told them,
(E) His suggestion was:


(from the October 20, 1998 test)

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Correct Answer: D
Explanation: The words "in context" at the beginning of the question alert the reader to consider the material in the sentences immediately preceding sentence 7. Sentences 5 and 6 present descriptive material about the Delany sisters' past. The verbs in those sentences are in the past tense. The verb in sentence 7 should therefore be in the past perfect tense because the father had encouraged the sisters before they went to Columbia. The correct version of sentences 5, 6, 7, and 8 reads:

   (5) The sisters grew up in North Carolina in times that were not easy for African Americans. (6) Around 1916 they moved to New York City and went to Columbia University at their father's urging. (7) He had told them, "You are college material. (8) And if you don't go, shame on you!"

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question 6 of 7

Passage: (The paragraphs below are the first two paragraphs of a passage that appeared in the test.)
   (1) Jazz is a satisfying and creative form of music. (2) The freedom it allows the musician is in no other form of music. (3) Improvisation is the reason. (4) With jazz, musicians can compose music as they play. (5) Jazz, more than any other music, can evoke so many moods and feelings. (6) The soulful wailing of a saxophone in a bluesy ballad can bring tears to a listener's eyes, and the soaring notes of a jazz trumpet can inspire joy.

   (7) Jazz is often played with a vocalist. (8) It is so expressive, that many jazz enthusiasts believe words are unnecessary. (9) Jazz goes beyond words. (10) Unfortunately, purely instrumental jazz may not appeal to some people because of this; they need words to associate with feelings.

Question: In context, which of the following words are the most logical to insert at the beginning of sentence 9 (reproduced below)?

Jazz goes beyond words.

(A) I have found that
(B) On the other hand
(C) And yet, for others
(D) As a result,
(E) For them,


(from the October 12, 1999 test)

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Correct Answer: E
Explanation: The words "in context" at the beginning of the question alert the reader to consider the material in the sentence immediately preceding sentence 9. Sentence 8 describes the belief of many jazz enthusiasts that words are unnecessary. Sentence 9 is a continuation of the idea held by enthusiasts. Thus choice E, which ties this idea to the enthusiasts, is the best choice.