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[a习作temp] argument2 FlY AW 作文组 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-6-1 20:43:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

提纲:
1.限制不一定是导致B增值的唯一因素
2.两个社区的差异会导致对于D不一定有效果
3.未考虑其他因素

  
The author asserts that homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should adopt a set of restrictions on appearances of their community in order to increase its values. To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that people in nearby Brookville community adopted similar policies 10 years ago and finally resulted in a 300% increase of their average property values. However, this recommendation flawed in several aspects, which rendering it unconvincing.
  Firstly, the author unfairly assumes that the increase of values  only due to the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. Common sense tells us various reasons can lead to such kind of increases. For example, the town's government may have planed to exploit the district, to which the Brookville community belongs, as a commercial district. Thus the values of the community increased a lot in the past 10 years .Without considering and ruling out other factors, the author can hardly convince me that it’s the restrictions that caused the increases ,let alone similar policies can increase the values of Deerhaven Acres.
  Secondly, Even if doing so contributes to the increase of the values of Broolbille, whether similar ways are effective in increasing Deerhaven Acres's values is still open to question. Differences between the two communitie can undermine the effect of that such restrictions. For instance, Brookville may located near a park, and its restrictions on outlooks make it looks more harmonious with the environment and then lead to a increases in values. While Deerhaven Acres may located around factories, and such ways may be useless in increasing its values. In a word, the more differences the two communities have, the less effective similar policies will be.
  Thirdly, the author fails to consider other possible ways that could increase the value of his community. Maybe homeowners could achieve this goal more effectively by making the community cleaner, or by creating certain culture, which could be regarded as distinctive character. If either of the two is the case, the recommendation will be out of considering.
  In sum, the auther's recommendation is unreliable due to the above reasons. The author should provide more materials to illustrate this argument.
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发表于 2006-6-1 21:55:39 |只看该作者
The author asserts that homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should adopt a set of restrictions on appearances of their community in order to increase its values. To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that people in nearby Brookville community adopted similar policies 10 years ago and finally resulted in a 300% increase of their average property values. However, this recommendation flawed in several aspects, which rendering it unconvincing.
  Firstly, the author unfairly assumes that the increase of values  only due to the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. Common sense tells us various reasons can lead to such kind of increases. For example, the town's government may have planed to exploit the district, to which the Brookville community belongs, as a commercial district. Thus the values of the community increased a lot in the past 10 years .Without considering and ruling out other factors, the author can hardly convince me that it’s the restrictions that caused the increases ,let alone similar policies can increase the values of Deerhaven Acres.
  Secondly, Even if doing so contributes to the increase of the values of Broolbille, whether similar ways are effective in increasing Deerhaven Acres's values is still open to question. Differences between the two communitie can undermine the effect of that such restrictions. For instance, Brookville may located near a park, and its restrictions on outlooks make it looks more harmonious with the environment and then lead to a increases in values. While Deerhaven Acres may located around factories, and such ways may be useless in increasing its values. In a word, the more differences the two communities have, the less effective similar policies will be.(这句就不必那么说了吧,万一要是效果更好呢)
  Thirdly, the author fails to consider other possible ways that could increase the value of his community. Maybe homeowners could achieve this goal more effectively by making the community cleaner, or by creating certain culture, which could be regarded as distinctive character. If either of the two is the case, the recommendation will be out of considering.
  In sum, the auther's recommendation is unreliable due to the above reasons. The author should provide more materials to illustrate this argument.
总体感觉还可以,建议可以像北美那样在房产那多做文章
第二段就三句话,感觉第一句和第三句差不多,第二句简单说了一下,最好多说一些
我一看思路还是不够开阔,也借鉴了一些

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板凳
发表于 2006-6-2 23:00:49 |只看该作者

我自己修改..按建议把第二和第三段扩充了一点.感觉确实好点了.

The author asserts that homeowners in Deerhaven Acres should adopt a set of restrictions on appearances of their community in order to raise its values. To strengthen this recommendation, the author points out that people in nearby Brookville community adopted similar policies 7 years ago and finally resulted in a triple increase of their average property values. However, this recommendation flawed in several aspects, which rendering it unconvincing.
  Firstly, the author unfairly assumes that the increase of values only due to the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. Common sense tells us various reasons can lead to such kind of increases. For example, the town's government may have planed to exploit the district, to which the Brookville community belongs, as a commercial district. In addition, the values of a community can experience an increase with time passing even no other factors affected .Without considering and ruling out other factors, the author can hardly convince me that it’s the restrictions that caused the increases, let alone similar policies can increase the values of Deerhaven Acres.
  Secondly, Even if doing so contributes to the increase of the values of Brookville, whether similar ways are effective in increasing Deerhaven Acres's values is still open to question. Differences between the two communities can undermine the effect of such restrictions. For instance, Brookville may located near a park, and its restrictions on outlooks make it looks more harmonious with the environment and then lead to a increases in values. While Deerhaven Acres may located around factories, and such ways may be useless in increasing its values. Moreover, it is entirely possible that many other communities took similar actions during the past 7 years and people have become disinterest in this kind of communities. Thus, the effect of similar restrictions may be useless. In a word, the author should thoroughly consider such differences before making the recommendation.
  Thirdly, the author fails to consider other possible ways that could increase the value of his community. Maybe homeowners could achieve this goal more effectively by making the community cleaner, or by creating certain culture, which could be regarded as distinctive character. If either of the two is the case, the recommendation will be out of considering.
  In sum, the auther's recommendation is unreliable due to the above reasons. The author should provide more materials to illustrate this argument……………….

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