issue51 [加州阳光]第一次作业,请拍砖:)

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 471          TIME: 上午 12:00:00          DATE: 2006-6-2
提纲:1.虽然兴趣在学生学习过程中起非常重要的作用，但教师的指导作用也是不能忽视的。
     2.如果学生根据兴趣来学习，那么他们将学不会人与人之间的合作交流，而且不能学会做一个正直的人。
     3.根据学生兴趣的教育成本太高了而显得不现实，而其很难评价这种教育的整体效果。

    I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that education will be effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, the speaker overlooks the instruction of teachers which plays an important role in education. Moreover, the speaker hasn't a comprehensive understanding of education. My points of contention with the speaker involve the fundamental objectives and nature of education, as discussed below.
    I concede that the speaker is right in the aspect of individual education. After all, interests play an important role in learning, so one always can learn a certain knowledge well if he is interested in it. Yet, it is doubted that one will have a well-round education if he only learns what he is interested in. First, many interests of students are whims which cannot last long and without purpose and plan.Second, since young students are aimless, the process of learning is not systematic without any instructions. That's why even if they can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Third, some people have few interests in the fundermental subjects such as math, physics, chemistry and so on, which are important aspects of one's knowledge.
    When we consider the objectives of education, education won't be truly effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. One purpose of education is teaching students cooperating with each other because teamwork is an important part of our social lives. If each student only cares about what he is interested in, he can't learn the interpersonal skills. Learning to be an
upright person is another purpose of education which can't be achived if one learns only basing on his interests.Especially on the elementary stage of education, moral education is significant for the young students who lack the capacity of judgement and decision.
    The speaker's assertion is troubling in two other respects as well. First, the cost of education designed to meet to the individual needs and interests of each student is unendurable even in well-developed countries. Because the education resource is limited, it is very important to deal with the resource effectively to meet the general needs of social education. Secondly, the general effect of education designed to meet the individual needs and interests can't be well evaluated. And the total level of education may descend though the individual capacity is enhanced.
    From what have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. First, the speaker neglectes the fuction of educators' instruction which plays an important part in education. Secondly, the speaker doesnt't take the undurable cost and unsure general effect of education which is designed to meet the individual needs and interests.

[ 本帖最后由 biggestmouse 于 2006-6-2 20:41 编辑 ]

hjl-0000UID: 2217681

提纲:1.虽然兴趣在学生学习过程中起非常重要的作用，但教师的指导作用也是不能忽视的。
     2.如果学生根据兴趣来学习，那么他们将学不会人与人之间的合作交流，而且不能学会做一个正直的人。
     3.根据学生兴趣的教育成本太高了而显得不现实，而其很难评价这种教育的整体效果。

    I agree with the speaker's broadbroad变成broadly位于主语I后面是否好些 assertion that education will be effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, the speaker overlooks the instruction of teachers which plays an important role in education. Moreover, the speaker hasn't a comprehensive understanding of education. My points of contention with the speaker involve the fundamental objectives and nature of education, as discussed below.末句感觉不通
    I concede that the speaker is right in the aspect of individual education. After all, interests play an important role换一词组好些吧,前面刚用过 in learning,. soSo one always cancan和always对调 learn a certain knowledge well if he is interested in it. Yet, it is doubted that加whether one will have a well-round education if he only learns what he is interested in. First, many interests of students应改成学生的吧,我不知道具体杂改复数所有格形式 are whims which cannot last long and without purpose and plan.这里并列用的不是很好Second, since young students are aimless, the process of learning is notwill not be systematic without any instructions. That's why even if they can learn by interests, they should推荐用have to be under the guidance of educators. Third, some people have few interests in the fundermental subjects such as math, physics, chemistry and so on, which are important aspects of one's knowledge.
    When we consider the objectives of education, education won't be truly effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. One purpose of education isis 后面表达目的的部分读起来有点怪 teaching students cooperating with each other because teamwork is an important part of our social lives. If each student only cares about what he is interested in, he can't learn the interpersonal skills. Learning to be an upright person is another purpose of education which can't be achived if one learns only only和learns换一下,后面可以用on the basis of 短语表达basing on his interests. Especially on the elementary stage of education, moral education is significant for the young students who lack the capacity of judgement and decision.此处decision我不确定是否正确,你问问别人哈
    The speaker's assertion is troubling in two other respectsaspects吧 as well. First, the cost of education designed to meet to the individual needs and interests of each student is unendurable even in well-developed countries. Because the education resource is limited, it is very important to deal with the resource effectively to meet the general needs of social education. Secondly, the general effect of education designed to meet the individual needs and interests can't be well evaluated. Andand 换成last the total level of education may descend加个even though the individual capacity is enhanced.
    From what have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that education won't be truly effective only when it is不用only在此处加just好些吧,only读起来有点.. specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. First, the speaker neglectes the fuction of educators' instruction which plays an important part in education. Secondly, the speaker doesnt't take the undurable cost and unsure general effect of education which is designed to meet the individual needs and interests.take…in consideration是一短语,此句不完整


水平有限,改的不对的地方告诉我一声哈,互相学习,共同进步

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

3x a lot!

lixiaomin046400UID: 2207959

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 471          TIME: 上午 12:00:00          DATE: 2006-6-2
提纲:1.虽然兴趣在学生学习过程中起非常重要的作用，但教师的指导作用也是不能忽视的。
     2.如果学生根据兴趣来学习，那么他们将学不会人与人之间的合作交流，而且不能学会做一个正直的人。
     3.根据学生兴趣的教育成本太高了而显得不现实，而其很难评价这种教育的整体效果。

I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that education will be effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, the speaker overlooks the instruction of teachers which plays an important role in education. Moreover, the speaker hasn't a comprehensive understanding of education.（hasn’t听说书面写作中不能用缩写） My points of contention with the speaker involve the fundamental objectives and nature of education, as discussed below.

I concede that the speaker is right in the aspect of individual education. After all, interests play an important role in learning, so one always can（can always,还有one是不是换成the student） learn a certain knowledge well if he is interested in it. Yet, it is doubted that one(同上用student比较好，我认为) will have a well-round education if he only learns what he is interested in. First （First of all）, many interests of students are whims which cannot last long and without purpose and plan(可以把and plan去掉，放一起反而不好). Second (Secondly) since young students are aimless, the process of learning is not systematic without any instructions. That's why even if they can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Third (in addition), some people have few interests in the fundermental subjects such as math, physics, chemistry and so on, which are important aspects of one's knowledge.
    When we consider (considering) the objectives of education, education won't be truly effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. One purpose of education is teaching students cooperating (to cooperate) with each other (other people) because teamwork is an important part of our social lives. If each student only cares about what he is interested in, he can't learn the interpersonal skills. (可以用虚拟语气) Learning to be an upright person is another purpose of education which can't be achived (achieved拼写错误) if one learns only (缺少宾语courses) basing on his interests. Especially on the elementary stage of education, moral education is significant for the young students who lack （of）the capacity of judgement and decision.
    The speaker's assertion is troubling in two other respects as well. First, the cost of education designed to meet to（去掉to） the individual needs and interests of each student is unendurable even in well-developed countries. Because the education resource is limited, it is very important to deal with the resource effectively to meet the general needs of social education. Secondly, the general effect of (on) education designed to meet the individual needs and interests can't be well evaluated. And the total level of education may descend though the individual capacity is enhanced.
    From what have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. First, the speaker neglectes (neglects) the fuction (function) of educators' instruction which plays an important part in education. Secondly, the speaker doesnt't (拼写错误) take the undurable cost and unsure general effect of (on) education which is designed to meet the individual needs and interests.（最后一句句子残缺）

文章右语法错误，还有一些拼写错误，楼主下次要细心检查一下哦。还有你的连词first，secondly等在文章中出现了三次，是否考虑换其他的近义词。
水平有限，有不对的地方请原谅:D

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

谢谢lixiaomin

kejia0422UID: 170864

提纲:1.虽然兴趣在学生学习过程中起非常重要的作用，但教师的指导作用也是不能忽视的。
     2.如果学生根据兴趣来学习，那么他们将学不会人与人之间的合作交流，而且不能学会做一个正直的人。
     3.根据学生兴趣的教育成本太高了而显得不现实，而其很难评价这种教育的整体效果。
[第三个观点很新颖]    I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that education will be effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, the speaker overlooks the instruction of teachers which [who] plays an important role in education. Moreover, the speaker hasn't a comprehensive understanding of education. My points of contention with the speaker involve the fundamental objectives and nature of education, as discussed below.
    I concede that the speaker is right in the aspect of individual education. After all, interests play an important role in learning, so one always can learn a certain knowledge well if he is interested in it. Yet, it is doubted that one will have a well-round education if he only learns what he is interested in. First, many interests of students are whims which cannot last long and without purpose and plan.Second, since young students are aimless, the process of learning is not systematic without any instructions. That's why even if they can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Third, some people have few interests in the fundermental subjects such as math, physics, chemistry and so on, which are important aspects of one's knowledge.[ 精彩]
    When we consider the objectives of education, education won't be truly effective when[用if最好，句首用了一个了] it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. One purpose of education is teaching[teach不是目的吧，教会才是目的] students cooperating with each other because teamwork is an important part of our social lives. If each student only cares about what he is interested in, he can't learn the interpersonal skills[因果关系感觉有些突兀，最好深入解释一下逻辑关系，]. Learning to be an upright person is another purpose of education which can't be achived if one learns only basing on his interests[深入解释一下].Especially on the elementary stage of education, moral education is significant for the young students who lack the capacity of judgement and decision.
    The speaker's assertion is troubling in two other respects as well. First, the cost of education designed to meet to the individual needs and interests of each student is unendurable even in well-developed countries. Because the education resource is limited, it is very important to deal with the resource effectively to meet the general needs of social education[这个层面应该比education还大，整体的social affairs]. Secondly, the general effect of education designed to meet the individual needs and interests can't be well evaluated[why??]. And the total level of education may descend though the individual capacity is enhanced.
    From what have been discussed above, we may[safely] draw a conclusion that education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. First, the speaker neglectes the fuction of educators' instruction which plays an important part in education. Secondly, the speaker doesnt't take the undurable cost and unsure general effect of education which is designed to meet the individual needs and interests.

个人觉得第一个观点和design联系的紧点会更好，还有，段首不用空两隔
写的真好,句子写的很有感觉
问一下biggestmouse队友你在练习句型和句感方面有什么好建议吗

[ 本帖最后由 kejia0422 于 2006-6-4 19:53 编辑 ]

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
WORDS: 471          TIME: 上午 12:00:00          DATE: 2006-6-2
提纲:1.虽然兴趣在学生学习过程中起非常重要的作用，但教师的指导作用也是不能忽视的。
     2.如果学生根据兴趣来学习，那么他们将学不会人与人之间的合作交流，而且不能学会做一个正直的人。
     3.根据学生兴趣的教育成本太高了而显得不现实，而其很难评价这种教育的整体效果。

I agree with the speaker's broad assertion that education will be effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, the speaker overlooks the instruction of teachers which plays an important role in education. Moreover, the speaker doesn't  have a comprehensive understanding of education. My points of contention with the speaker involve the fundamental objectives and nature of education, as discussed below.

I concede that the speaker's viewpoint is right considering the importance of individual needs and interests in education. After all, interests are the best teachers. One can always learn a certain subject well if he is interested in it. Yet, it is doubted whether all interests are positive for one's education. Because many interests of students are whims which cannot last long and without purpose,the process of learning will not be systematic without any instructions. That's why even if the students can learn by interests, they should be under the guidance of educators. Moreover, some students have few interests in the fundermental subjects such as math, physics, chemistry and so on, which are important aspects of one's knowledge.If these students just learn what they are interested in, they will not have a well-round knowledge. How can we think this kind of education is effective?

Considering the objectives of education, it won't be truly effective when it is designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. One purpose of education is teaching students cooperating with others because teamwork is an important part of our social lives. If each student only cares about what he is interested in, he can't learn the interpersonal skills. Learning to be an upright person is another purpose of education which can't be achieved if one learns only basing on his interests.Especially on the elementary stage of education, moral education is significant for the young students who lack the capacity of judgement and decision.

The speaker's assertion is troubling in two other respects as well. First, the cost of education designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is unendurable even in well-developed countries.For the education resource is limited, it is very important to deal with the resource effectively to meet the general needs of social education. Secondly, the general influence of education designed to meet the individual needs and interests can't be well evaluated. The total level of education may descend though the individual capacity is enhanced.
   
From what have been discussed above, we may draw a conclusion that education won't be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. First, the speaker neglectes the function of educators' instructions which play an important part in education. Secondly, the speaker doesnt't take the undurable cost and unsure general effect of education which is designed to meet the individual needs and interests into consideration.

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

这是我第一次写，感觉很吃力
句式主要参考前辈总结的那些模版。
也只能多多参考多多应用多多请高手修改了