Argument117 FLY AW小组第四周作业

flycc28UID: 2164453

117The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
调查显示70%说反映现在要把工作带回家的人比以前多了,所以店里决定增加办公设备的储存,会使办公设备部成为我们店里利润最好的.
1.        首先，调查的范围是多少，有多少人接受了访问，如果范围很小，调查就没有代表性。另外被访者的职业、性别、年龄也都不知道，调查是否有采取措施防止误差，这样我们不知道调查是否准确。
2.        其次，被访者的态度也会影响到调查的说服力，如果他们只是在抱怨生活繁忙，就也不能反映出真实的情况。
3.        提高商品储存不一定就会提高利润，商品的质量、商品的种类都会影响到它的销售。而谈到是否会成为最赚钱的就更不能保证了，因为其他的部门也在想办法多赚钱。
结论：论者还是应该进一步了解一下家用办公设备的需求是不是在上升，哪些货物的需求大，受欢迎，然后再做出决定。

In this argument, the arguer recommends the Valu-Mart stores should take advantage of the work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office so that the office-supply department will become the most profitable component of their stores. The recommendation is based on the survey and the relation between stock increasing and profit rise, it seems reasonable at first glance. Unfortunately, neither the former nor the latter can powerfully back it up.

To support to the assumption the arguer cited a recent survey reporting that 70 percent of the respondents requiring to take more work home from the work place than they were in the past. However the survey is untenable. First of all, we can’t know the scope of the survey, and how many people were asked. The survey can be representative if the scope is limited. Secondly, the occupation, gender and age of the respondents, influencing the validity, are also unclear to us. We can’t make sure that survey is exact or not.

What’s more, the persuasion of the survey will be influenced by the attitude of the respondents. If what they all want to is complaining the heavy burden in worktime regardless of the other desires, the survey can not reflect the verity.

Even if, granted that the survey is persuasive, we can not ensure the impressive sales, saying nothing of high profit. In one hand, increasing the stock of home office machines such as printers small copy machines do not mean increasing profits even sales. The sales will be affected by the quality as well as the kinds of the machines it provided. When it comes to profit, it is becoming vaguer, for the other opponents are thinking out all the means to gain money, which may counteract the competition of their department.

To sum up, the conclusion lacks the credibility because the evidences the arguer provided don not strongly support to what the argue concluding that the office supply department of Valu-mart stores will become the most profitable one. The reliability of the survey should be proved to make the assumption more persuasive.

夜一UID: 2130338

In this argument, the arguer recommends the Valu-Mart stores should take advantage of the work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office so that the office-supply department will become the most profitable component of their stores. The recommendation is based on the survey and the relation between stock increasing and profit rise, it seems reasonable at first glance. Unfortunately, neither the former nor the latter can powerfully back it up.

To support to the assumption the arguer cited a recent survey reporting that 70 percent of the respondents requiring to take more work home from the work place than they were in the past. However the survey is untenable. First of all, we can’t know the scope of the survey, and how many people were asked. The survey can be representative if the scope is limited. Secondly, the occupation, gender and age of the respondents, influencing the validity, are also unclear to us. We can’t make sure that survey is exact or not.

What’s more, the persuasion of the survey will be influenced by the attitude of the respondents. If what they all want to is complaining the heavy burden in worktime regardless of the other desires, the survey can not reflect the verity. 我觉得上面两段同样是讲survey的问题，不如合并成一段

Even if, granted that the survey is persuasive, we can not ensure the impressive sales, saying nothing of high profit.没有看懂这句话的语法结构 In one hand, increasing the stock of home office machines such as printers small copy machines do not mean increasing profits even sales. The sales will be affected by the quality as well as the kinds of the machines it provided. When it comes to profit, it is becoming vaguer, for the other opponents are thinking out all the means to gain money, which may counteract the competition of their department.我觉得这一段的论述并不是很有道理，别人说贩售某产品会赢利，如果我们要说不一定能盈利的话，应该从产品规格以外的角度去说，比如价格，营运等等，可能是造成一直以来业绩不好的主要原因，只是改变商品种类恐怕不会有太大帮助，而不好说别人不一定会出售高品质的产品

To sum up, the conclusion lacks the credibility because the evidences the arguer provided don not strongly support to what the argue concluding that the office supply department of Valu-mart stores will become the most profitable one. The reliability of the survey should be proved to make the assumption more persuasive.

flycc28UID: 2164453

小毛病还是很多
we can not ensure the impressive sales, saying nothing of high profit.是想说:即便调查被证明是有说服力的, 好的销售不能保证,更不必说高额的利润了. 不知道表达对不对?

flycc28UID: 2164453

顶起来~~~~

夜一UID: 2130338

嗯，不知呢，我没有用过。有没有见过类似的表达？如果在欧美的文章里出现过的话就没有问题了