Issue38【加州阳光】第二次作业，狠拍

yvonnewhuUID: 2202979

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 508      

In the era of modern communication methods filling all corners of the world, with advanced instruments in hand, we call for a balance between mass media and classic methods of learning which was effective in most cases.

Mass media are necessarily used for its efficiency and advancement in such rapidly development of the society. In the modern world, quickly changed information are transferred without any hesitative using such advanced tools as television or internet which are the components of the information super high way. One of professor once said: the usage of a new kind of washing machine will quickly get to know in this time while the message of the triumph of the civil war appearing in the newspapers oversea was two month away. Through watching the television, one can easily get the idea that SARS was a kind of disease because of infection of virus in 2003, while the same idea appeared in the book of microbiology only in 2004. This lagging message surely delayed the clinical study which is crucial for the waiting patients if scientists acquired such information though books.

Simply put, with out television, we lose an efficient tool to get used to such swiftly changed world. While it was fine for early spectators to learn and understand the few laws and ideas of the society though books during their times, now, no one can possibly do the same things in the modern times.

On the other hand, over-emphasize the usage of television means narrow foci  in which people can lose the larger picture. No one can expect how and when an epidemic disease can stop by watching television; while an epidemiology book can tell you how to study and prevent the disease. What we learn from mass media may be just an example of the whole law of the society which might be internally logically coherent but might be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of larger speciation. Further, if we only see the symptoms and feature of such epidemic disease in one place we may fail to recognize the real etiology of the disease.

Not only may over-emphasize the usage of television be dangerous in terms of truth, purity of knowledge, but it can also serve to drawn moral and honesty. Books, with highly responsible authors, are usually fair and objective in explaining some laws and phenomena. Though watching television, one can easily get the news and strange things which attracts his or her eyes. Thus, in order to fascinate more viewers, the journalists often exaggerate the fact and use many unfairly simile and modification. Thus, strange phenomena are around everyone's topic while people may not know they were misleading by such reports.

Finally, over-emphasize the usage of the television may be a drain on one's time. You may suffer from continuously disturbances by advertisements which are broadcast nearly every station when you are watching a television show. People may also take soap operas as time killers. Such disadvantages may obvious in youngsters who may get any violence concept though television.

sandyfriendUID: 157486

In the era of modern communication methods filling all corners of the world, with advanced instruments in hand, we call for a balance between mass media and classic methods of learning which was effective in most cases.
[开头不错，不过好像issue中没提到effetive把。]

Mass media are necessarily used for its efficiency and advancement in such rapidly development of the society. In the modern world, quickly changed information are transferred without any hesitative using such advanced tools as television or internet which are the components of the information super high way. One of professor once said: the usage of a new kind of washing machine will quickly get to know in this[去掉] time while the message of the triumph of the civil war appearing in the newspapers oversea was two month away. Through watching the television, one can easily get the idea that SARS was a kind of disease because of infection of virus in 2003, while the same idea [appeared 改为is detailedly described ]in the book of microbiology only in 2004. This lagging message surely delayed the clinical study which is crucial for the waiting patients if scientists acquired such information though books.
[这段的论证不错，例子也很好]

Simply put, with out television, we lose an efficient tool to get used to such swiftly changed world. While it was fine for early spectators to learn and understand the few laws and ideas of the society though books during their times, now, no one can possibly do the same things in the modern times.

On the other hand, over-emphasize the usage of television means narrow focus in which people can lose the larger picture. No one can expect how and when an epidemic disease can stop by watching television; while an epidemiology book can tell you how to study and prevent the disease. What we learn from mass media may be just an example of the whole law of the society which might be internally logically coherent but might be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of larger speciation. Further, if we only see the symptoms and feature of such epidemic disease in one place we may fail to recognize the real etiology of the disease.

[这段写television一般是形象的东西是表面的，具体的，而书的东西是抽象的，理论的，难通过television体现。做个比较]

Not only may over-emphasize the usage of television be dangerous in terms of truth, purity of knowledge, but it can also serve to drawn moral and honesty. [no only but also 句型 drawn 改为 draw?]Books, with highly responsible authors, are usually fair and objective in explaining some laws and phenomena. Though watching television, one can easily get the news and strange things which attracts his or her eyes. Thus, in order to fascinate more viewers, the journalists often exaggerate the fact and use many unfairly simile and modification. Thus, strange phenomena are around everyone's topic while people may not know they were misleading by such reports.

[这段写television 信息是主观的，再加工的，不真实的，书的某些东西是客观的，真实的，不错]

Finally, over-emphasize the usage of the television may be a drain on one's time. You may suffer from continuously disturbances by advertisements which are broadcast nearly every station when you are watching a television show. People may also take soap operas as time killers. Such disadvantages may obvious in youngsters who may get any violence concept though television.
[怎么没有结尾段呢？ 你开头提出了是一个平衡的关系，结尾要重申观点阿]
虽然你的开头写法也可以，但是主题句一定要说明主题，television 和books
论证的话， 4段写over的坏处可以做个比较马。
语法我是没什么改的了。

Btw：我的AW都是先导到word先自己改一次的，这些错我就是看不出来，
对不起了。我在语法和拼写的错误我自己都没办法了^_^.
至于句式方面你看什么参考书的,我欧不行阿.

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 508      

In the era of modern communication methods filling all corners of the world, with advanced instruments in hand, we call for a balance between mass media and classic methods of learning which was effective in most cases.要紧扣题目哦，mass media and classic methods=>television and reading books :)

Mass media are necessarily used for its(?) efficiency and advancement in such rapidly development of the society. 为什么不用：It is necessarily to use mass media for ......In the modern world, quickly changed information are? transferred without any hesitative using such advanced tools as television or internet which are the components of the information super high way. One of删掉 professor once said: the usage of a new kind of washing machine will quickly get to know in this time while the message of the triumph of the civil war appearing in the newspapers oversea was two month away. Through watching the television, one can easily get the idea that SARS was a kind of disease because of infection of virus in 2003, while the same idea appeared in the book of microbiology only in 2004. This lagginglaggar message surely delayed the clinical study which is crucial for the waiting patients if scientists acquired such information through books.

Simply put, with out television,这错误也太明显了吧？！！ we lose an efficient tool to get used to such swiftly changed world. While it was fine for early spectators to learn and understand the few laws and ideas of the society though books during their times, now, no one can possibly do the same things in the modern times.写的太混乱了

On the other hand, over-emphasize the usage of television means narrow foci  in which people can lose the larger picture. No one can expect how and when an epidemic disease can stop by watching television; while an epidemiology book can tell you how to study and prevent the disease. What we learn from mass media may be just an example of the whole law of the society which might be internally logically coherent but might be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of larger speciation. Further, if we only see the symptoms and feature of such epidemic disease in one place we may fail to recognize the real etiology of the disease.

Not only may over-emphasize the usage of television be dangerous in terms of truth, purity of knowledge, but it can also serve to drawn moral and honesty.这句结构太怪了，呵呵没看懂：） Books, with highly responsible authors, are usually fair and objective in explaining some laws and phenomena. Though watching television, one can easily get the news and strange things which attracts his or her eyes这句的Though 用的对吗？. Thus, in order to fascinate more viewers, the journalists often exaggerate the fact and use many unfairly simile and modification. Thus, strange phenomena are around everyone's topic while people may not know they were misleading by such reports.

Finally, over-emphasize the usage of the television may be a drain on one's time. You may suffer from continuously disturbances by advertisements which are broadcast nearly every station when you are watching a television show. People may also take soap operas as time killers. Such disadvantages may obvious in youngsters who may get any violence concept though television.
没有看到结尾总结哦