ISSUE161 Ares战队 Tomas007

Tomas007UID: 2107663

TOPIC: ISSUE161 - "In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."
WORDS: 460          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-19

While focusing on the highly spreading media and its effects, people often hold such view that the decrease and even diminishment of one's reputation would destroy his/her contribution and reputation without any hesitation. However, I am on the opposite and believe that with the advent of high developed media, those who contribute a lot to our society and human being would be much more like a hero.

First of all, heroes' contribution, no matter what they have benefit for the society, could not be diminished by any argument through any media. In fact, just put an eye on those great men who has changed our lives a lot. Mr. Cornelius Vanderbilt, for example, a people famous for the stock playing and cheating in Wall street in 1860's, were described as a big lier who received no education but with great greediness and bring plenty of troubles in the development of stock exchange at that ages in the book "The great game" by John Garden. Indeed, it is the great game played by Cornelius Vanderbilt that promoted the improvement of relative laws in the Wall street. And he is one hero in education, the foundation of Vanderbilt University as a perfect example, although he actually received no education.

Furthermore, the well developed media and its information to our citizens are just like monitors that would improve the heroes' behavior. Dr. Hwang, the biologist famous for his firstly clone of stem cells in Korea, was currently reported cheating in his published papers. Actually, it is not the media but himself who diminished his contribution. From the second he decided to make up data, he is no longer a biological hero but a lier at all. The role played by media is uncovering the truth and awaking our society, including the scientific field and others, to take treasures preventing similar phenomena. In some aspects, the media is such a police, who will come out, point out faults and then direct the proper way for the well development of those heroes and our society.

Additionally, although news, especially those scandals that focus on the daily lives of great men often make them , they do not affect their great figures but indicate that those men are just normal people like us, with kinds of emotions, having the right to take a party at the side of a beautiful lake, to date with some bright girls. Meanwhile, their contribution and great progress are not unbelieveable. Instead, everyone among us has equal right to strive for it, to win and to make it.

In sum, compared with its little disadvantages in daily life scandals,  the well development of current media benefits a lot to the figure building of those heroes and more importantly, to our society.

[ 本帖最后由 Tomas007 于 2006-7-19 21:56 编辑 ]

baihe1988UID: 2203505

TOPIC: ISSUE161 - "In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."
WORDS: 460          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-7-19

While focusing on the highly spreading media and its effects, people often hold such view that the decrease and even diminishment of one's reputation would destroy his/her contribution and reputation without any hesitation. However, I am on the opposite and believe that with the advent of high (highly) developed media, those who contribute a lot to our society and human being would be much more like a hero.

First of all, heroes' contribution, no matter what they have benefit for the society, could not be diminished by any argument through any media. In fact, just put an eye on those great men who has (have) changed our lives a lot. Mr. Cornelius Vanderbilt, for example, a people famous for the stock playing and cheating in (the) Wall Street in 1860's, were described as a big lier(撒谎者？这个词没有这个意思吧) who received no education but with great greediness and bring plenty of troubles in the development of stock exchange at that ages in the book "The great game" by John Garden. Indeed, it is the great game played by Cornelius Vanderbilt that promoted the improvement of relative laws in the Wall Street. And he is one hero in education, the foundation of Vanderbilt University as (was) a perfect example, although he actually received no education.

Furthermore, the well developed media and its information to our citizens are just like monitors that would improve the heroes' behavior. Dr. Hwang, the biologist famous for his firstly clone of stem cells in Korea, was currently reported cheating in his published papers. Actually, it is not the media but himself who diminished his contribution. From the second he decided to make up data, he is no longer a biological hero but a lier at all. The role played by media is uncovering the truth and awaking our society, including the scientific field and others, to take treasures preventing similar phenomena.(觉得这句话不顺——建议换种表达) In some aspects, the media is such a police, who will come out, point out faults and then direct the proper way for the well development of those heroes and our society.

Additionally, although news, especially those scandals that focus on the daily lives of great men often make them(啥叫make them啊), they do not affect their great figures but indicate that those men are just normal people like us, with kinds of emotions, having the right to take a party at the side of a beautiful lake, to date with some bright girls. Meanwhile, their contribution and great progress are not unbelievable(这个词用的不好). Instead, everyone among us has equal right (复数比较地道) to strive for it, to win and to make it.

In sum, compared with its little disadvantages in daily life scandals,  the well development of current media benefits a lot to the figure building of those heroes and more importantly, to our society.（最后这句话好奇怪啊！没发觉与主题有啥联系阿！）

总结：总体感觉还好，毕竟这是45分钟内写出来的文章，呵呵！不过有些地方确实写的不是很通，但是比起我来就好多了。觉得这篇文章最主要的问题是论证的结构安排的不是很合理，还有文章一般的采用折中的办法作为观点——最好不用太极端的结论，应该考虑到媒体在有些时候为了赚钱就大肆夸大事实的现象。不过如果选择的角度比较好的话，也无所谓极端不极端了。总之，作为模拟考试的作文还是很好的，赞！加油！