issue185 [smiles-B]第四次作业 有拍必回

dychangfengUID: 2216148

"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

Before the invention and dramatically development of television and internet, neither can information spread so quickly, nor can scandals attack our attention on problems in ways that they do nowadays, that no speaker or reformer ever could. Where there is a scandal, there is a gathering of people who have a hot debate on it. Some times, scandals do contribute to our society, but it does not always the case.

In the era that all things tend to be more and more complex than the last decades, it is more and more difficult for people to concentrate their energy on one particular thing. As a result, all the things happening now and then seem commonplace, and people will not find it more deserving to be paid attention to. However, from a psychology angle, people always desire something different from what they take for granted. Then scandals come and people become exited. More and more people are involved and problems hidden under virtues are discovered. People are astonished at what they have come to. Maybe a respectable leader have done something make them feel disappointed which completely destroyed his good reputation. But this is not the end of scandals. It is the hidden problems of the scandal that most catch people's attention. What follows is the addressing of these problems and the promotion of the corresponding laws and orders. If scandals always have this function, we can regard them as something always useful, however, we ignore something important.

Considering how scandals are coming into being, it easily for us to understand that in some occasion, we are far from facts and deceived by scandals. Frankly speaking, there are a relatively large amount of scandals are produced by mass media to satisfy a kind of psychology to search for curiosity. In order to survive in severe competition, media spare no effort to attract people's attention, regardless the rectitude and influence on society. Given this aspect, we can imagine how scandals blow up any minor breach of a promise into a theatrical event. So, it is not strange for scandals to deny achievements of these people and institutions involved them. For instance, during the eight years of his administration, the former US president Bill Clinton had add an unprecedented contribution to the nation’s economy, say, the fastest economic growth in more than 30 years; the lowest unemployment rates in 30 years; the lowest poverty rates in 20 years; the first back-to-back surpluses in 42 years; the longest period of economic growth in the nation’s entire history, etc. Whereas when it comes to the sex scandal between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, these accomplishments are most likely overshadowed. It is clearly that if we want make our judgment without partiality about the event, we must know more about the scandal itself for the scandal draw our attention apart form those that should have been emphasized to some trivial ones.  

Since scandals have ability to access large number of people, to reveal those facts hidden from people, people do benefit from them. However, when scandals come, common people have to ponder about how they are produced and what the purpose of those scandals producer. Only through this can we avoid being cheated by them.
留下链接， :lol有拍必回

imzxzUID: 2138612

Before the invention and dramatically development of television and internet, neither can information spread so quickly, nor can scandals attack our attention on problems in ways that they do nowadays, that no speaker or reformer ever could. Where there is a scandal, there is a gathering of people who have a hot debate on it. Some times, scandals do contribute to our society, but it does not always the case.
这个开头很简洁
In the era that all things tend to be more and more complex than the last decadeslast decades这个说法个人感觉不是很好, it is more and more difficult for people to concentrate their energy on one particular thing. As a result, all the things happening now and then seem commonplace, and people will not find it more deserving to be paid attention to. However, from a psychology angle, people always desire something different from what they take for granted. Then scandals come and people become exited.这部分的说理有点长，对人们心理的分析可以参考一下这篇https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1 More and more people are involved and problems hidden under virtues are discovered. People are astonished at what they have come to. Maybe a respectable leader have done something tomake them feel disappointed which completely destroyed his good reputation.这个从句应该移到前面去 But this is not the end of scandals. It is the hidden problems of the scandal that most catch people's attention. What follows is the addressing of these problems and the promotion of the corresponding laws and orders. If scandals always have this function, we can regard them as something always useful, however, we ignore something important.

Considering how scandals are coming into being, it easilyis easy for us to understandrealize that in some occasion, we are far from facts and deceived by scandals. Frankly speaking, there are a relatively large amount of scandals are are删掉produced by mass media to satisfy a kind of psychology to search for curiosity. In order to survive in severe competition, media spare no effort to attract people's attention, regardless ofthe rectitude and influence on society. Given this aspect, we can imagine how scandals blow up any minor breach of a promise into a theatrical event. So, it is not strange for scandals to deny achievements of these people and institutions involved them. For instance, during the eight years of his administration, the former US president Bill Clinton had add an unprecedented contribution to the nation’s economy, say, the fastest economic growth in more than 30 years; the lowest unemployment rates in 30 years; the lowest poverty rates in 20 years; the first back-to-back surpluses in 42 years; the longest period of economic growth in the nation’s entire history, etc. Whereas when it comes to the sex scandal between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, these accomplishments are most likely overshadowed.我觉得这里应该多说点，前面克林顿的功绩点到为止 It is clearlyclear that if we want make our judgment without partiality about the event, we must know more about the scandal itself for the scandal draw our attention apart formfrom those that should have been emphasized to some trivial ones.  

Since scandals have ability to access large number of people, to reveal those facts hidden from people, people do benefit from them. However, when scandals come, common people have to ponder about how they are produced and what the purpose of those scandals producer. Only through this can we avoid being cheated by them.深化了主题，但之前应该再提一下前面的丑闻转移我们注意力的论点
整体来说不错，但觉得说理的思路还是有些不连贯，整个文章的一口“气”还没有连通。我的文章也有这个问题，现在也被这个困扰。一起努力吧！
我的文章：：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1欢迎毫不留情的回拍！！

zhy5186612UID: 2167373

Before the invention and dramatically development of television and internet, neither can information spread so quickly, nor can scandals attack our attention on problems in ways that they do nowadays, that no speaker or reformer ever could. Where there is a scandal, there is a gathering of people who have a hot debate on it. Some times, scandals do contribute to our society, but it does not always the case.[开头挺好的]

In the era that all things tend to be more and more complex than the last decades, it is more and more difficult for people to concentrate their energy on one particular thing. As a result, all the things happening now and then seem commonplace, and people will not find it more deserving to be paid attention to. However, from a psychology angle, people always desire something different from what they take for granted. Then scandals come and people become exited. More and more people are involved and problems hidden under virtues [and facts] are discovered. People are astonished at what they have come to. Maybe a respectable leader have done something make them [them--〉people吧，指代不明有点] feel disappointed which completely destroyed his good reputation. But this is not the end of scandals. It is the hidden problems of the scandal that most catch people's attention. What follows is the addressing of these problems and the promotion of the corresponding laws and orders. If scandals always have this function, we can regard them as something always useful, however, we ignore something important.最后转折也挺好

Considering how scandals are coming into being, it easily for us to understand that in some occasion, we are far from facts and deceived by scandals. Frankly speaking, there are a relatively large amount of scandals are produced by mass media to satisfy a kind of psychology to search for curiosity. In order to survive in severe competition, media spare no effort to attract people's attention, regardless the rectitude and influence on society. Given this aspect, we can imagine how scandals blow up any minor breach of a promise into a theatrical event. So, it is not strange for scandals to deny achievements of these people and institutions involved them. For instance, during the eight years of his administration, the former US president Bill Clinton had add an unprecedented contribution to the nation’s economy, say, the fastest economic growth in more than 30 years; the lowest unemployment rates in 30 years; the lowest poverty rates in 20 years; the first back-to-back surpluses in 42 years; the longest period of economic growth in the nation’s entire history, etc. Whereas when it comes to the sex scandal between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, these accomplishments are most likely overshadowed. It is clearly that if we want make our judgment without partiality about the event, we must know more about the scandal itself for the scandal draw our attention apart form those that should have been emphasized to [to -->compared with] some trivial ones. 这个例子超强，收藏了我

Since scandals have ability to access large number of people, to reveal those facts hidden from people, people do benefit from them. However, when scandals come, common people have to ponder about how they are produced and what the purpose of those scandals producer. Only through this can we avoid being cheated by them.
这片I非常好了已经 考试时如果写出这样的 应该i可以高分了
加油

smiles11UID: 2232631

赶紧来看看，好文章一定要多看几眼！

smiles11UID: 2232631

"Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."

Before the invention and dramatically development of television and internet, neither can information spread so quickly, nor can scandals attack---是吸引吧，这个词是攻击，是故意这样用的，还是？ our attention on problems in ways that they do nowadays, that---which--非限制定语从句不用that  no speaker or reformer ever could. Where there is a scandal, there is a gathering of---of 可以去掉 people who have a hot debate on it. Some times---如果是有时的话，就应该是并起来的, scandals do contribute to our society, but it does not----is not always the case----这个开头真的很精彩的，句式变化，用词也好！.

In the era that all things tend to be more and more complex than the last decades, it is more and more difficult for people to concentrate their energy on one particular thing. As a result, all the things happening now and then seem commonplace, and people will not find it more deserving to be paid attention to. However, from a psychology---psychological angle, people always desire something different from what they take for granted.----前面论述稍微有点长 Then scandals come and people become exited.---这个短句好！ More and more---这个词组用多了 people are involved and problems hidden under virtues are discovered. People are astonished at what they have come to. Maybe that a respectable leader have done something [makes]  them feel disappointed which completely destroyed his good reputation. But this is not the end of scandals. It is the hidden problems of the scandal that most catch people's attention. What follows is the addressing of these problems and the promotion of the corresponding laws and orders. If scandals always have this function, we can regard them as something always useful, however, we ignore something important------感觉这一段的TS不是很明确，感觉写了丑闻吸引人，而且揭示了隐藏在丑闻后面的问题，然后相应的法律和秩序的提升，这样丑闻是有用的-----这样看得话前面吸引写的多，而后面的作用部分只是一笔带过，感觉后面应该是重心------但是写得很精彩，特别是用词！.

Considering how scandals are coming into being---这样表达后面主语应该是人吧？, it easily for us to understand that in some occasion----这个句子需要改, we are far from facts and deceived by scandals. Frankly speaking, there are a relatively large amount of scandals are produced by mass media to satisfy a kind of psychology to search for curiosity---这一句需要修改，两个谓语，而且后面的两个不定式也需要改----满足了人们寻求好奇的心理需要. In order to survive in severe competition, media spare no effort---不遗余力是这样表达么？好像缺点 to attract people's attention, regardless the rectitude and influence on society. Given this aspect, we can imagine how scandals blow up any minor breach of a promise into a theatrical event. So, it is not strange for scandals to deny achievements of these people and institutions involved them. For instance, during the eight years of his administration, the former US president Bill Clinton had add an unprecedented contribution to the nation’s economy, say, the fastest economic growth in more than 30 years; the lowest unemployment rates in 30 years; the lowest poverty rates in 20 years; the first back-to-back surpluses in 42 years; the longest period of economic growth in the nation’s entire history, etc. Whereas when it comes to the sex scandal between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, these accomplishments are most likely overshadowed. It is clearly that if we want make our judgment without partiality about the event, we must know more about the scandal itself for the scandal draw our attention apart form those that should have been emphasized to some trivial ones---这个句子结构有点没有看懂，就是最后一个分局是什么成分，为什么用被动呢------例子的确很好，但是叙述还是有点长，看了一下，大概占了这一段的一半了，六行多一些.  

Since scandals have ability to access large number of people, to reveal those facts hidden from people, people do benefit from them. However, when scandals come, common people---慎用，这个词表示的下等人，而不是普通人 have to ponder about how they are produced and what is--我不知道这里用is还是are,如果用后者，那么后面的purpose也应该改的the purpose of those scandals producer----scandal producers. Only through this can we avoid being cheated by them----认清了这样的问题，我们才能真正从丑闻中受益，这样好吗？回应一样主题.

改你的文章比我写文章的时间还长噢，不过写的真是很精彩的，如果细节的方面注意一下就更好了！因为你写得好我改的也就苛刻了一些，希望不要介意啊

[ 本帖最后由 smiles11 于 2006-7-31 04:00 编辑 ]

applehattieUID: 2195344

Before the invention and dramatically development of television and internet, neither can information spread so quickly, nor can scandals attack our attention on problems in ways that they do nowadays, that no speaker or reformer ever could. Where there is a scandal, there is a gathering of people who have a hot debate on it. Some times(sometimes), scandals do contribute to our society, but it does not always the case.

In the era that all things tend to be more and more complex than the last decades, it is more and more difficult for people to concentrate their energy （这个说法有点中文化吧，个人觉得their energy 可以去掉）on one particular thing. As a result, all the things happening now and then seem commonplace, and people will not find it more deserving to be paid attention to. However, from a psychology angle, people always desire something different from what they take for granted. Then scandals come and people become exited. More and more people are involved and problems hidden under virtues are discovered. People are astonished at what they have come to. Maybe a respectable leader have done something make them feel disappointed which completely destroyed his good reputation. But this is not the end of scandals. It is the hidden problems of the scandal that most catch people's attention. What follows is the addressing of these problems and the promotion of the corresponding laws and orders. If scandals always have this function, we can regard them as something always useful, however, we ignore something important.（整个一段都写的很顺畅，最后的转折写的平民化了一点，呵呵，高分要求）

Considering how scandals are coming into being, it easily for us to understand that in some occasion, we are far from facts and deceived by scandals（这句话表达欠考虑，前面说丑闻是怎么产生的后面就被丑闻欺骗？）. Frankly speaking, there are a relatively large amount of scandals are produced by mass media to satisfy a kind of psychology to search for curiosity. In order to survive in severe competition, media spare no effort to attract people's attention, regardless the rectitude and influence on society. Given this aspect, we can imagine how scandals blow up any minor breach of a promise （毁约？）into a theatrical event. So, it is not strange for scandals to deny achievements of these people（什么人？） and institutions involved them（them可以不要把）. For instance, during the eight years of his administration, the former US president Bill Clinton had add an unprecedented contribution to the nation’s economy, say, the fastest economic growth in more than 30 years; the lowest unemployment rates in 30 years; the lowest poverty rates in 20 years; the first back-to-back surpluses in 42 years; the longest period of economic growth in the nation’s entire history, etc. Whereas when it comes to the sex scandal between Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, these accomplishments are most likely overshadowed. It is clearly that if we want make our judgment without partiality about the event, we must know more about the scandal itself for the scandal draw our attention apart form(from) those that should have been emphasized to some trivial ones.  （这个例子个人觉得不是很好，手头上的一份材料说这个性丑闻怎么的怎么的败坏道德，使社会上风气很坏什么的，呵呵，应该不trivial吧）

Since scandals have ability to access large number of people, to reveal those facts hidden from people, people do benefit from them. However, when scandals come, common people have to ponder about how they are produced and what the purpose of those scandals producer. Only through this can we avoid being cheated by them.
1．        总体感觉文章说的很透彻，很到位，至少比我的要好，个人觉得自己的文章就是举了几个例子，呵呵
2．        结构很清楚，好处和坏处，条理明晰，而且很多句式很到位，
3．        还是回到那个例子上，我感觉是不是CLINTON是因为这个下台的啊，而且他也公开道歉了，有这当子事的吧
水平有限啊，改的不对见谅啊～