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[i习作temp] issue99 一个刚开始写作文但还有20多天就考试的乐观青年的习作。有拍必回啊! [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-8-8 02:32:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
限时写的,请大家提点建议吧!现在因为有时不能全力投入复习,我自己已经用WORD纠过了错!

提纲:部分同意。认为practical可以保证生存,但idealistic是伟大成就所必须。
         1.pragmatic是可以保证生存。
         2.有时pragmatic甚至是必须和最佳选择。
         3.但是一些伟大的成就需要idealistic。

TOPIC: ISSUE99 - "In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
WORDS: 561         TIME: 12:45:00 AM          DATE: 8/7/2006

The way to success might be one of the most popular topics in human society. Towards this issue, different people have different answers. Some argue that taking pragmatic behavior is the most appropriate method; at least, it can guarantee survival. By contrast, other believe that being idealistic is the secret to success because in that condition people are inclined to be creative and imaginative to obtain certain critical ideas, which is crucial to make achievements. As a matter of fact, people should be pragmatic to guarantee the basic ordinary life, to make sure the effort valuable and worthwhile. However, some tremendous achievements call for the idealistic views, sometimes even incredible.

To begin with, widely accepted by nearly everybody in the world, being pragmatic is never harmful to keep the ordinary life going around. To the contrary, it is the guarantee for surviving in this competitive society. For human beings, from birth to death, thousands of choices and options they must face. High school students have to decide the right university just fit for them. Everybody has to choose the person who can love him/her for whole life as his/her spouse. In most cases, to be pragmatic or practical is the best way to choose. It is better to consider a lot than making a quick decision. Owing to the meticulous consideration, pragmatic behavior or decisions can be more reliable than idealistic ones, although the latter ones are easy to make oneself satisfied and content.

Moreover, being pragmatic doesn't mean lacking of imagination or creativity. Sometimes, practical behavior and consideration are needed to obtain the best result. If a person can not reach the English level high enough to read the novels, it's useful and fit for him/her to start from some relatively easy essays. If the girl/boy who a person loves deeply actually doesn't love that person, quitting from the love affairs and to be one of his/her friends might be the best choice and it won't hurt anybody. Some jobs also require pragmatic behavior rather than idealistically making a decision. Like in stock market, never try to imagine the price of a stock will rise if it is inevitable for it to fall down steeply. To be practical and sell it might be the best choice in that condition rather than being idealistic and then suffering a tremendous loss.

However, even pragmatic behavior can be the guarantee for basic survival, some great success do call for some idealistic views. It is nearly impossible to predict a miracle, and if so, it is not a miracle anyway. Miracles rarely exist in modern society, but they do exist and they are rare just because it is one of the results of idealistic idea. Would anybody in 19th century believe one day human beings could fly in the sky or even in the space? It was more pragmatic to earn a life by doing some labor work than being dedicated to the research in flying machines. However, it was that group of idealistic scientists, who were devoted to flying, finally made the dream come true and changed the world completely. For tremendous success, idealistic ideas are necessary.

In conclusion, people should never forget to keep a pragmatic behavior and thought to do things step by step, to guarantee the ordinary life go around well. In the base of practical behavior, being idealistic moderately can propel some great achievement.

[ 本帖最后由 liubai0831 于 2006-8-8 02:36 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2006-8-8 03:42:31 |只看该作者

能发吗?

能发吗?
牛魔王

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发表于 2006-8-8 19:48:17 |只看该作者
The way to success might be one of the most popular topics in human society. Towards this issue, different people have different answers. Some argue that taking pragmatic behavior is the most appropriate method; at least, it can guarantee survival. By contrast, other believe that being idealistic is the secret to success because in that condition people are inclined to be creative and imaginative to obtain certain critical ideas, which is crucial to make achievements. As a matter of fact, people should be pragmatic to guarantee the basic ordinary life, to make sure the effort valuable and worthwhile. However, some tremendous achievements call for the idealistic views, sometimes even incredible. (个人认为这个开头铺垫太多了,不是自己的论述,反而把题目扩展性重复)

To begin with, widely accepted by nearly everybody in the world, being pragmatic is never harmful to keep the ordinary life going around. To the contrary, (跟谁比?) it is the guarantee for surviving in this competitive society. For human beings, from birth to death, thousands of choices and options they must face. High school students have to decide the right university just fit for them. Everybody has to choose the person who can love him/her for whole life as his/her spouse. (?用实用观点选伴侣?) In most cases, to be pragmatic or practical is the best way to choose. It is better to consider a lot than making a quick decision. Owing to the meticulous consideration, pragmatic behavior or decisions can be more reliable than idealistic ones, although the latter ones are easy to make oneself satisfied and content.

Moreover, being pragmatic doesn't mean lacking of imagination or creativity. Sometimes, practical behavior and consideration are needed to obtain the best result. If a person can not reach the English level high enough to read the novels, it's useful and fit for him/her to start from some relatively easy essays. If the girl/boy who a person loves deeply actually doesn't love that person, quitting from the love affairs and to be one of his/her friends might be the best choice and it won't hurt anybody. (总用love来举例子,不太合适吧)Some jobs also require pragmatic behavior rather than idealistically making a decision. Like in stock market, never try to imagine the price of a stock will rise if it is inevitable for it to fall down steeply. To be practical and sell it might be the best choice in that condition rather than being idealistic and then suffering a tremendous loss.(个人认为这段例子都待斟酌,玩 stock 的人都是从实际出发要make money 的,但必须predict the price, English level 也不太合适 )

However, even pragmatic behavior can be the guarantee for basic survival, some great success do call for some idealistic views. It is nearly impossible to predict a miracle, and if so, it is not a miracle anyway. Miracles rarely exist in modern society, but they do exist and they are rare just because it is one of the results of idealistic idea. Would anybody in 19th century believe one day human beings could fly in the sky or even in the space? It was more pragmatic to earn a life by doing some labor work than being dedicated to the research in flying machines. However, it was that group of idealistic scientists, who were devoted to flying, finally made the dream come true and changed the world completely. For tremendous success, idealistic ideas are necessary. (这段的立意还是好的,但没有讲清楚 idealistic 和great success 的关系,过多的纠缠于miracle 对论证无帮助)

In conclusion, people should never forget to keep a pragmatic behavior and thought to do things step by step, to guarantee the ordinary life go around well. In the base of practical behavior, being idealistic moderately can propel some great achievement. (感觉很多用词是重复的)

总体讲觉得有点乱,首先应该清楚 idealistic 和 pragmatic的定义,可能我和LZ的理解不太一样吧。其次例子的使用须再斟酌(尤其是关于LOVE的,这个东西不是简单讲讲就清楚的),语言方面我也不行,只是感觉很多用词是重复的。

我的文,表客气。https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=509868&extra=page%3D1

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地板
发表于 2006-8-8 20:04:48 |只看该作者
刚开始就能限时写这么多, lz很强的嘛...

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发表于 2006-8-9 07:26:02 |只看该作者
谢谢ddloveyy的修改,很多意见很中肯,虚心接受了!!

我一限时就发现根本没有例子可举,呵呵。
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发表于 2006-8-9 09:23:44 |只看该作者
The way to success might be one of the most popular topics in human society. Towards this issue, different people have different answers. [有点TWE的感觉~] Some argue that taking pragmatic behavior is the most appropriate method; at least, it can guarantee survival. By contrast, other [others] believe that being idealistic is the secret to success because in that condition people are inclined to be creative and imaginative to obtain certain critical ideas, which is crucial to make achievements. As a matter of fact, people should be pragmatic to guarantee the basic ordinary life, to make sure the effort valuable and worthwhile. However, some tremendous achievements call for the idealistic views, sometimes even incredible.

To begin with, widely accepted by nearly everybody in the world, being pragmatic is never harmful to keep the ordinary life going around. To the contrary, it is the guarantee for surviving in this competitive society. For human beings, from birth to death, thousands of choices and options they must face. High school students have to decide the right university just fit for them. Everybody has to choose the person who can love him/her for whole life as his/her spouse. In most cases, to be pragmatic or practical is the best way [有点绝对] to choose. [可以结合上面提到的一些例子具体分析一下实际的做法如何好,这样分析的成分多一些比较有说服力] It is better to consider a lot than making a quick decision. [consider a lot不是practical, making a quick decision也不是idealistic,总之这一句好像有点突兀] Owing to the meticulous consideration, pragmatic behavior or decisions can be more reliable than idealistic ones, although the latter ones are easy to make oneself satisfied and content.

Moreover, being pragmatic doesn't mean lacking of imagination or creativity. Sometimes, practical behavior and consideration are needed to obtain the best result. If a person can not reach the English level high enough to read the novels, it's useful and fit for him/her to start from some relatively easy essays. If the girl/boy who a person loves deeply actually doesn't love that person, quitting from the love affairs and to be one of his/her friends might be the best choice and it won't hurt anybody. Some jobs also require pragmatic behavior rather than idealistically making a decision. Like in stock market, never try to imagine the price of a stock will rise if it is inevitable for it to fall down steeply. To be practical and sell it might be the best choice in that condition rather than being idealistic and then suffering a tremendous loss.[根据这段的TS, 应该紧扣imagination or creativity来举例]

However, even pragmatic behavior can be the guarantee [重复好几回了~可以换个premise来用~] for basic survival, some great success do call for some idealistic views. It is nearly impossible to predict a miracle, and if so, it is not a miracle anyway. Miracles rarely exist in modern society, but they do exist and they are rare just because it is one of the results of idealistic idea. Would anybody in 19th century believe one day human beings could fly in the sky or even in the space? It was more pragmatic to earn a life by doing some labor work than being dedicated to the research in flying machines. However, it was that group of idealistic scientists, who were devoted to flying, finally made the dream come true and changed the world completely. For tremendous success, idealistic ideas are necessary.

In conclusion, people should never forget to keep a pragmatic behavior and thought to do things step by step, to guarantee the ordinary life go around well. In the base of practical behavior, being idealistic moderately can propel some great achievement.

其实二十多天够了!第一次就能写这么多确实很厉害~~其实举例子的思路也都挺好的,但就是要让你的例子为论点说话。A-za!

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RE: issue99 一个刚开始写作文但还有20多天就考试的乐观青年的习作。有拍必回啊! [修改]

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issue99 一个刚开始写作文但还有20多天就考试的乐观青年的习作。有拍必回啊!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-509723-1-1.html
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