argument200牙医※昏厥 小弟的第一篇作文555

stoneflyandmoonUID: 2212749

没掐时间，花了好久弄出来的。。。模仿的痕迹很重。。。但是还是希望各位大侠，大女侠帮忙看看。。。总算出了篇处女文。。。今天早点睡觉咯。。。我9。15考机考，作文才复习了3天，，，，怎么也找不到头绪，索性先搞出一篇来，于是就来到了寄托的作文区。。。嘻嘻，发现原来同主题写作已经到了第十期了。。。于是就写了这篇。。。严格都不算是写了。。。边写边查查的。。。还是很头晕，，，今天费血啊。。。明天起来加倍努力。。。希望各位再改我作文的同时能对我作文的复习给些建议什么的。。。尤其是issue，我上了新东方回来和没上貌似没什么区别，真是对不起阿修这么帅的老师～～～

总之互相帮助。。。我也会尽我的点点微薄之力和大家共勉的。我以后要努力在论坛上混出个人样来。


The article concludes that dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and focus on both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients. To substantiate the conclusion, the author cites statistics which show us three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. But after a careful examination of this argument, I found it is not so tenable as it stands.

First of all, the validity of the statistics is worthy doubting. Actually, the statistics fail to distinguish between times of faint and rate, which is more persuasive and better illustrates the author's ratiocination that men are more likely to be distressed. It is entirely possible that there is a disproportionate number of man patients taken into account, making the data unreliable to support the writer's argument. Also, the writer never indicate us in the article whether the patients recorded in the data are random selectived, and whether the total quantity of them is large enough to be statistically significant. Thus, unless providing sufficient information to display the efficiency of the statistics, the speaker could not substantiate the conclusion in the article.

Another problem with the argument is that the author attributes faint of the patients to the pain they are suffering in the treating process. However, not only does he offer no evidence to prove that assumption to establish a convincing causal connection between faint and distress, but also he does not rule out other possibilities. For instance, before they visit the dentists, maybe many female patients already have the experience of childbearing, which is considered the most acute pain for human. Consequently, they are likely to be less inclined to faint for the pain with dental work. But we can not draw a conclusion, as the writer mentioned in the argument, women are less likely to be distressed. In one word, the fainting among patients does not necessarily result from the distress in treatment, other causes like the influence of medication or the health condition of individuals may also contribute to the fainting.

Finally, the author gives no proof to believe us that the proposed advertising approach will achieve the intended effect. Perhaps, few men pay attention to this kind of advertisement. Or perhaps, the patients will be more interested in the condition of the medical facilities or the charges rather than the anesthetic techniques. Further, he does not explain why the sensitivity of their staff will help alleviate the pain of male patients. Anyhow, the author should take some convincing evidence to demonstrate the expectable effectiveness of his recommendation.

In sum, the argument is not well supported. To strengthen it, the writer should make a thorough investigation for adequate information to replace the weak statistics and other hasty recommendations.