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[i习作temp] Issue 26 [Shining Sep]作文组 第三次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-8-17 00:26:56 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 26 [Shining Sep]作文组 第三次作业


772字有点多了~

1。历史建筑
2。现代建筑
3。判断历史建筑价值
4。现代建筑价值
5。解决两者之间关系
6。一些没有太大意义的历史建筑
7。总结


TOPIC: ISSUE26 - "Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society's past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situations, modern development should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served."
WORDS: 772          TIME: 55’         DATE: 2006/08/16

Most people would agree that the old buildings are one of the treasurable heritages we get from our ancestors. The artful architectural skills, the glorious ornaments and the profound historical meanings bore in old buildings are more valuable than the buildings themselves. No one would deny their inherent yearning to visit old buildings, like Gothic churches, historical battlefield and Great Walls. The comprehensive content of historical buildings is actually the history of humans and therefore deserves a great effort of preservation.

As society progresses, technology and economy take place of what used to be triumpthed in the past, like the appreciation of great art, architecture and handcrafts. Art and beauty are given in their position which used to be unshakable in the past because of the urgent need for efficiency. Thus some people propose that modern planners should consider the better use of the ground which the old buildings stand. In some sense, this suggestion is reasonable since the old buildings can just only be seen as part of the history, not the obstacles that prevents modern human beings from developing their own history. But I suggest that some of the historic buildings need to be preserved in terms of the human need other than the contemporary needs.

People are so smart and economical nowadays that they only want to keep what they think as the most useful resources. It is undoubtedly right to do so, considering the scarcity of the resources like land, money and most importantly, the opportunity cost. It is reasonable to treat historical buildings as if they are something of less value than the skyscrapers, modern offices and luxurious houses. But to evaluate the old buildings in a different aspect, for example, a historical perspective, then not only do old buildings are valuable, but also are all the accessories accompanied them or even more. By studying the old buildings, historians found the evidence of either great human endeavor of changing the environment or marvelous wisdom of ornamenting their residents. The historical buildings serve not only useful for recording the history, but also for preserving cultural and absorbing the techniques. The value of the historical buildings thus far surpasses that of the modern buildings.

As for modern buildings, thanks to the modern technology and well-learned city planners, their beauty and efficiency should be appreciated. Undoubtedly, the greatness of modern buildings shed no less light than the historical buildings. The beautifully shaped girders and glasses, the strong iron-concrete structure accompanied by the most advanced devices, mark the modern architecture the most wonderful combination of elegancy and practicability. Plus their great role in shaping the cities and equipping for modern business, the city planners have every reason to take the full advantage of the grounds used by the old buildings.

When this conflict occurs, we may seek a possible way to resolve it by balancing the needs of preserving the old culture and the development of the modern world. There is an applicable method which is adopted by Shanghai for many years, that is, before tearing down the old buildings of one district, one building that is the most typical of its kind and has the most resourceful value that represents the whole district could be preserve. Consider China as a fast-grow developing country, this solution obviously means a lot to the city construction. By voting to preserve may not be the best way to keep all the old buildings untouched, but it serves as a possible solution to the great need of land in large cities like Shanghai. To expand the thought, there can be other possible ways to do so: to fill the sea like Hong Kong did for a long time, to build the modern buildings higher than border and so on.

One may argue that some of the old buildings are too old and costly to maintain. The possible way to resolve this problem is to consider whether the value of the old buildings deserve to be preserved. If that kind of building has well preserved samples, it is practicable to build new ones on it. However if it is on the verge of disappearance, it should be taken good care of.

The problem between tearing down the old buildings and building new ones is not difficult to solve. Through careful examination of its historical value and the evaluation between cost and profit can considerate city planners make good plans of our cities. After all, building new buildings are building the modern histories. Old history on one hand, modern history on the other, the only thing that people can do is to evaluate them and make decisions.
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沙发
发表于 2006-8-17 09:16:22 |只看该作者
Most people would agree that the old buildings are one of the treasurable[precious] heritages we get from our ancestors. The artful architectural skills, the glorious ornaments and the profound historical meanings bore in old buildings are more valuable than the buildings themselves. [觉得这个句子很好 ^-^] No one would deny their[好像应该用单数?] inherent yearning to visit old buildings, like Gothic churches, historical battlefield[古战场不是建筑吧?换成古罗马斗兽场是不是好点?] and Great Walls. The comprehensive content of historical buildings is actually the history of humans and therefore deserves a great effort of preservation. [觉得开头段是不是应该表明态度,把对历史建筑的支持放在第一段,全然不提现代建筑与它之间的矛盾是不是显得有点忽略了主题呢?建议之前加个开头段表明态度,这一段可以考虑作为支持历史建筑的第一段]

As society progresses, technology and economy take place of what used to be triumpthed[triumphed] in the past, like the appreciation of great art, architecture and handcrafts. Art and beauty are given in their position which used to be unshakable in the past because of the urgent need for efficiency. [感觉这两句可以合并,可不可以说实用主义已经dominate了,而the appreciation of great art, architecture and handcrafts做出了让步呢?]Thus some people propose that modern planners should consider the better use of the ground which the old buildings stand. In some sense, this suggestion is reasonable since the old buildings can just only be seen as part of the history, not the obstacles that prevent[去掉s] modern human beings from developing their own history. But I suggest that some of the historic buildings need to be preserved in terms of the human need other than the contemporary needs.

People are so smart and economical nowadays that they only want to keep what they think as the most useful resources. It is undoubtedly right to do so, considering the scarcity of the resources like land, money and most importantly, the opportunity cost. It is reasonable to treat historical buildings as if they are something of less value than the skyscrapers, modern offices and luxurious houses. But to evaluate the old buildings in a different aspect, for example, a historical perspective, then not only do old buildings are valuable, but also are all the accessories accompanied them or even more. By studying the old buildings, historians found the evidence of either great human endeavor of changing the environment or marvelous wisdom of ornamenting their residents. The historical buildings serve not only useful for recording the history, but also for preserving cultural and absorbing the techniques. The value of the historical buildings thus far surpasses that of the modern buildings. [第三段是不是有点乱,提纲上说是历史建筑的价值,但却花了一半的篇幅说现代,个人觉得段内最好不要转折]

As for modern buildings, thanks to the modern technology and well-learned city planners, their beauty and efficiency should be appreciated. Undoubtedly, the greatness of modern buildings shed no less light than the historical buildings. The beautifully shaped girders and glasses, the strong iron-concrete structure accompanied by the most advanced devices, mark the modern architecture the most wonderful combination of elegancy and practicability. Plus their great role in shaping the cities and equipping for modern business, the city planners have every reason to take the full advantage of the grounds used by the old buildings. [觉得这一段写的很漂亮 ^-^]

When this conflict occurs, we may seek a possible way to resolve [resolve是下定决心的意思,应该用solve] it by balancing the needs of preserving the old culture and the development of the modern world. There is an applicable method which is adopted by Shanghai for many years, that is, before tearing down the old buildings of one district, one building that is the most typical of its kind and has the most resourceful value that represents the whole district could[用should好] be preserve. Consider [Considering that] China as [is] a fast-grow[ing] developing country, this solution obviously means a lot to the city construction. By voting [Voting] to preserve may not be the best way to keep all the old buildings untouched, but it serves as a possible solution to the great need of land in large cities like Shanghai. To expand the thought, there can be other possible ways to do so: to fill the sea like Hong Kong did for a long time, to build the modern buildings higher than border and so on. [例子很好,提出的其他解决方案也不错 ^-^]

One may argue that some of the old buildings are too old and costly to maintain. The possible way to resolve this problem is to consider whether the value of the old buildings deserve to be preserved. If that kind of building has well preserved samples, it is practicable to build new ones on it. However if it is on the verge of disappearance, it should be taken good care of.

The problem between tearing down the old buildings and building new ones is not difficult to solve. Through careful examination of its historical value and the evaluation between cost and profit can considerate city planners make good plans of our cities. [好像这里不能倒装吧?] After all, building new buildings are building the modern histories. Old history on one hand, modern history on the other, [呃,这种on one hand on the other 的表达不知道是否正确] the only thing that people can do is to evaluate them and make decisions.

我对楼主的文章结构提几点建议:
1,        加一个开头段,表明总体态度
2,        一三段、二四段可以合并,即各用一段说明历史建筑和现代建筑
3,        再用一段表明二者之间的矛盾以及怎么处理,把五六段并入这一段:说明有价值的历史建筑要保留,确实价值不大的可以放弃
4,        总结观点
5,        在合并的时候压缩一下内容,七百多的字数多了点,而且限时内完成有较大难度,一些说的意思差不多的句子可以取一两个好的句子,或者把精华合并

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板凳
发表于 2006-8-17 18:34:24 |只看该作者

谢谢~

改得很细啊,建议,我会在以后写的时候运用的~谢谢啦^-^

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RE: Issue 26 [Shining Sep]作文组 第三次作业 [修改]

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