issue51 Myth小组第二次作业 airbots

airbotsUID: 2225434

I agree with the writer's assertion that effective education will be designed to satisfy the individual need and interests of each student. Even some students do not realize their interests, the educators should help them to know what they want and like to do. However, in my view the educator has the responsibility to correct some needs or interests which will hurt students or do harm to society instead of satisfying without judgment.

First of all, it is true that the education's responsibility is to make their students to be useful for the society. By meeting the individual healthy needs and interests, students abilities in certain aspects can be enhanced and will help them contribute more to the society. For example, Newton was born in a noble family, he was well educated in many field which he liked. Because of these strong background knowledge and interest , he made great efforts in classic physics, astronomy, and other inquiries.

Furthermore, not all students know their interests firmly, it is important for educators to inspire them to know what the like or want. It requires the educators well-experienced that their can realize behaviors of students represent what kind of interests. For example, there are many people do not know what are their interests, including adults. If a student is sensitive to music, the educators should let this student do some test or exercises which will help prove what kind of interest the student like.  

However, the education should have the function to correct students’ misleaded interests or needs. For instance, if a student is interested in smoking for the reason of family or circumstances around him. Tutors of this students should give useful advise to help him abandon this bad interest by showing the consequence or other functional means. Without educators correcting students' harmful needs or interests will bring about serious consequence to society. Some extremely examples following,  as we all know, addiction to drug is spirit dependence to person.  If a person takes drug without being corrected at first several times,  after the addiction come into being, it is difficult to get rid of this need. One day this person has no money to buy the drug, he/she will commits crime to get money through any way.

All in all, effective education should meet the individual needs and interests by strengthening good ones and correcting the bad ones. Without any judgment the education will not be effective or even harmful to individuals and society.

OcirlinUID: 2138355

I agree with the writer's assertion that effective education will be designed to satisfy the individual need and interests of each student. Even some students do not realize their interests, the educators should help them to know what they want and like to do. However, in my view the educator has the responsibility to correct some needs or interests which will hurt students or do harm to society instead of satisfying without judgment.
首段不错！
First of all, it is true that the education's responsibility is to make their students to be useful for the society. By meeting the individual healthy needs and interests, students[所有格] abilities in certain aspects can be enhanced and will help them contribute more to the society[呵呵后面的半句语法错误]. For example, Newton was born in a noble family, he was well educated in many field which he liked. Because of these strong background knowledge and interest , he made great efforts in classic physics, astronomy, and other inquiries.[这个论据似乎不具有很强的说服力呢]

这一段还可以再展开，例子可以进一步说明

Furthermore, not all students know their interests firmly, it is important for educators to inspire them to know what the like or want. It requires the educators well-experienced that their can realize behaviors of students represent what kind of interests. For example, there are many people do not know what are their interests, including adults.[罗嗦，和前面说的一个意思] If a student is sensitive to music, the educators should let this student do some test or exercises which will help prove what kind of interest the student like.  [继续往下讲啊 可以举例子]


However, the education should have the function to correct students’ misleaded interests or needs. For instance, if a student is interested in smoking[是不是有些牵强 smoking顶多算个癖好吧] for the reason of family or circumstances around him. Tutors of this students should give useful advise to help him abandon this bad interest by showing the consequence or other functional means. Without educators correcting students' harmful needs or interests will bring about serious consequence to society. Some extremely examples following,  as we all know, addiction to drug is spirit dependence to person.  If a person takes drug without being corrected at first several times,  after the addiction come into being, it is difficult to get rid of this need. One day this person has no money to buy the drug, he/she will commits crime to get money through any way.
这段例子有点牵强 另外 就算不考虑这个问题 具体事例没有 分析没有
All in all, effective education should meet the individual needs and interests by strengthening good ones and correcting the bad ones. Without any judgment the education will not be effective or even harmful to individuals and society.

总的看来你这篇文章能得4- 吧
理由如下
虽然整体框架出来了 结构也比较明了 但是存在以下问题
1.        对题目理解不充分 只写到 Interests 没写到 needs
2.        例子不具有较强说服力 个别例子甚至与题目关系不大
3.        分析不够 体现不出思想
4.        语言一般


欢迎回拍 ：
issue17
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=542117&extra=page%3D1
issue221
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=542544&extra=page%3D1

airbotsUID: 2225434

谢谢高人指点，已经回拍。：）