请大家帮小弟挑挑毛病！！！我的PERSONAL STATEMENT

liyang19840608UID: 2234381

小弟水平不高，写了个个人陈述，希望大家能帮小弟指正错误
      　　　　　　　　　Personal  Statement
　My name is Yang Li.I am writing in the hope of pursuing advanced studies in the field of Accounting in Monash. I am a undergraduate student of NorthEast University of Finance and Economy who major in Electronic-Business.I wiil get the Bachelor degree in June 2007
　During my childhood,my father, who is businessman owned a small factory , gave me a significant effect on business and taught me a lot in finace.That lead me to the business study.In the study of junior and senior years, I began to approach many specialized courses of major concern, which broadened my vision and enhanced my interest on finance and economy study. .From the study in college I am becoming more and more interested in accounting which is though not my major. Thanks to the globalization,there will be a huge amount of accountants needed ,who have professional accounting skills and know the international laws .Accounting will becoming quite significant for a company especially in China .I have the enthusiasm to make more effort in accounting study,and it will not be quite difficult for me ,since I have learned much about finance and economy knowledge in my Bachelor degree.
　　I am always a diligent, efficient student and have taken a wide rang of course covering mathematics,management,economics,financial management and computer skills.I have got the registered Career Certificate of E-Business Assistant, which was promulgated by CETTIC (China Employment Training Techical Instruction Center) through the examination , .Beside the academia achievement ,I also pay much attention to the practice.I always help my father’s factory do some market survey and product promote sale through the internet or by the normal way.Simutaneously my father help me to know how a accountant works for the company in reality.All thease society practice enhanced my academic knowledge.At the same time,I am the minister in art department of the student union in my institute .In my point of view through that experience ,I practiced my organized and management ability.In the other hand,I am so crazy about music ,especially rock’n roll . I have played guitar since the high school.Fortunately ,I have a band named “falling” in my university and I play the bass guitar in it.In the spare time we always rehearse our own song and sometime have performances in school or out of school.It is really amazing and unforgettable time for me,that made me so confidence about myself.
Eventually,I wish I could have the opportunity to complete my Master degree in accounting in Monash.I will try all my best to show an excellent work .

KookTesUID: 2101639

这种东西，照模版大概套一下就好了，没人认真看的。

rainfarUID: 2177542

澳洲不用PS一般。。。

ozstudyUID: 2162830

呵呵， 这样的PS是没有什麽作用的。 这个模板也很老了。给人的印象就是太缺乏诚意。

[ 本帖最后由 ozstudy 于 2006-10-27 14:16 编辑 ]