Issue94 [米国有米小组FeibingX第一次作业]欢迎来拍！

feibingxUID: 2212956

Issue 94
Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.
Words: 443         Date: 2006-11-17

In general, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that students in universities should be required to take variety of courses outside the student's field of study, because acquiring knowledge of various academic discipline is the best way to become truly educated. However, I would also caution that intemperance of learning knowledge of outside of one's field is also risking one's time and even career.

The chief reason why I generally agree with the statement has to do with the needs of society for graduated students of universities. With the development of the world, more and more requirements are put forward to graduated students. The requests of society demand an understanding and analysis of world situations, which could be achieved by studying courses in political science, sociology, and history. It is also strongly required that one has a clearly insight of oneself to plan one’s own future. Thus, taking courses in philosophy, theology, and arts will capacitate a student serve this goal. Otherwise, a little attainment in aesthesis will also help to enhance one’s receivability of the society.

The second reason why I agree with the statement has to do with the fact that almost nobody famous or successful in the history is only focus on his own field. For example, Einstein was good at play violin; and Newton was familiarity in both mathematics and physics. The reason why these truly educated people can success is that they absorb the soul of some other field, which is unable to be found in one’s own field and could sublime one’s spirit and enable one to obtain a greater progress. Accordingly, no one with a too-narrow view of higher education and his own field would become truly educated, not even mentioning success.

However, while feeding the requirements of being broad educated and of the developing society, the prior condition of dabbling various fields should not be ignored. That is, before a student takes some courses outside his field, he should master his own field first. A student who knows about everything but without a special proficient in anyone would be useless in the society because he would not have anything valuable to offer. Thus, in the process of being truly educated, mastering one’s own field is still the first important thing to deal with, before taking other courses which maybe can help to set up a vaster visual field.

In sum, being truly educated means feeding the demanding of society, which could be accomplished by setting various courses of multiple fields for students in universities to take.  At the same time, it should be demanded that students should strive to master their own field at first.

joochangUID: 2265219

Issue 94 Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study because acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.Words: 443         Date: 2006-11-17In general, I agree with the speaker’s assertion that students in universities should be required to take variety of courses outside the student's field of study, because acquiring knowledge of various academic discipline is the best way to become truly educated. However, I would also caution that intemperance of learning knowledge of outside of one's field is also risking[threatting] one's time and even career.[在此处应明确提出与下文呼应的论点]

The chief reason why I generally agree with the statement has to do with the needs of society for graduated students of universities. With the development of the world, more and more requirements are put forward to [imposed on 似乎更贴切] graduated students. The requests of[可以删去，与后面的demand在一起显得累赘]society demand an understanding and analysis of world situations, which could be achieved[analysed] by studying courses in [about]political science, sociology, and history. It is also strongly required that one has a clearly[clear] insight of oneself[可以删掉]to plan one’s own future. Thus, taking courses in philosophy, theology, and arts will capacitate a student [to]serve this goal.[一个句子不能有两个谓语] Otherwise, a little attainment[achievement] in aesthesis will also help to enhance one’s receivability of the society. [这句看不懂…]

The second reason why I agree with the statement has to do with the fact that almost nobody famous or successful in the history is only focus[两个谓语]on his own field.[这句话更适合作为论据展开。可以在更高的层次提出论点，比如“学习本学科以外的知识能够促进各学科共同进步”等等，然后再加上此句，更有说服力] For example, Einstein was good at play violin; and Newton was familiarity in both mathematics and physics. The reason why these truly educated people can success is that they absorb the soul[gem]of some other field[fields], which is[are] unable to be found in one’s own field and could sublime one’s spirit and enable one to obtain a greater progress.[好句！] Accordingly, no one with a too-narrow view of higher education and his own field would become truly educated, not even mentioning success.

However, while feeding the requirements of being broad educated and of[可删掉]the developing society, the prior condition[先决条件－prerequisite] of dabbling various fields should not be ignored. That is, before a student takes some courses outside his field, he should master his own field first. A student who knows about everything but without a special proficient in[is] anyone would be useless in the society because he would not have anything valuable to offer. Thus, in the process of being truly educated, mastering one’s own field is still the first important thing to deal with, before taking other courses which maybe can help to set up a vaster visual field.[较好地总结了本段论点，但本段不能很好地呼应全文论点]

In sum, being truly educated means feeding the demanding [demand]of society, which could be accomplished by setting various courses of multiple fields for students in universities to take.  At the same time, it should be demanded that students should strive to master their own field[fields] at first. [很好地总结了论点]

文章总体结构完整，论点也比较鲜明。文章首段更加明确地阐明中心论点会更好。还有一些问题需要引起重视：段落的衔接略显生硬，语法以及一些常用动词的用法貌似存在一些问题，例子也不够说服力，建议多搜集。希望以后的写作能给出大概的提纲，方便读者把握你的文章。

[ 本帖最后由 joochang 于 2006-11-19 12:40 编辑 ]