issue221 第一篇，请指教（12月作文高强组）

一月一号UID: 2148376

TOPIC: ISSUE221 - "The chief benefit of the study of history is to break down the illusion that people in one period of time are significantly different from people who lived at any other time in history."
WORDS: 507          TIME: 1:36:00          DATE: 2006-11-20

研究历史可以从各个年代的不同总结出相同的规律，虽然不同年代的人看上去是很不同的，但实际上人类的本性和一些基本的规律还是不变得。
1.       不同时期的人看上去还是很不一样，比如社会制度，观念，法律，风俗等。
2.       不同时期的人但也有很多本质的相同，比如宗教信仰《圣经》，对真理和美的追求，。
3.       但研究历史的主要益处不在于指出不同的时期的人相同，而在于总结社会，历史发展的一些基本规律trend，帮助我们面对今天的问题和预防未来的问题。


I partly agree the notion above that the benefit of studying history is to reveal the fact that people in different times are actually similar, but I have to admit that this is not the chief benefit of studying history and we can expect from it more.

     The river of time is processing with significant change of the society and it seems that people in one period of time are different from people who lived at other times in the history. From the Eolithic time to the slavery society, from industrialization to modern time, ostensibly we can find so much difference between people in many aspects, liking their life style, their way of thinking and their custom. For instance, if we inspect the evolution of laws in different periods, we may discover that the concepts of residents are changing over times. What was sentenced to be guilty, like disseminating a theory that is against the Vatican, is acceptable now in our free speech society.

  However, if some one really studies history accurately and deeply, she/he certainly would be amazed that the human nature never changes and there are so much intrinsic characters that people of different time can share. One of the best to illustrate this point is that people's religion belief does not change significantly over times. The Bible, that was read by millions of millions people in the past times, though their way of live is dramatically changed, is still the most influential book in one’s life of the western society. People of the new century believed in it as people did a thousand years ago. Furthermore, though the laws and bills of different time differ  in some articles, the purposes and the fundamental bases of those are exactly same, which reflects the human's pursuit of justice and order in one period that are not different from that of people in any other time in history.

Besides, the curiosity of our existence and circumstance and the pursuit of truth and beauty are the eternal chases of human being. The studies of history of art, science and philosophy show that this kind of pursuit has never waned since the day of human's birth. It is from Socrates to Kant, Newton to Einstein, and Vinci to Picasso, we see the struggle of human to understand and demonstrate the nature and ourselves.

Studying history do help us realize that people are intrinsic similar in different times, but the chief benefit of studying it is not just this. Studying history can contribute to explain and understand changes in human behavior and provide extensive material to study human condition, and most significantly thus help to solve the problems we are facing today and foresee the troubles may happen in the future. History is such a mirror from which we can see now and the future. Past is not just the past and we must learn from it.

In sum, though people in one period are apparently different from people who lived at other time, the study of history would help us to break down this illusion. Furthermore, the advantage of study history is not just this and we should learn from it more.

个人总结：第一次写issue，感觉很难下手，所以整篇都是凑出来的，所以逻辑不强，字数也不够。结尾也太单薄！

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

I partly agree the notion above that the chief 这种首要,绝对的修饰词不能丢哦, 否则等于曲解作者的意思了 benefit of studying history is to reveal the fact that people in different times are actually similar 这里的重述有些问题,题目说不同时代的人完全不同是不对的, 一月同学说不同时代的人是相似的, 表面上看挺一致, 但举个例子, 我说"这个人一无是处", 你驳斥我说"这个人挺好的"容易驳倒我还是"这个人还是有一两个优点的"容易驳倒我? 很明显是后者吧, 只要举一两个反例就行了. 个人认为如果没办法精确的将题目意思重新表达, 不如就简单地抄一下, but I have to admit that this is not the chief benefit of studying history and we can expect from it more 似乎这句是全文的Topic Sentence吧, 但看一月的提纲这只是其中一个部分, 前面那句虽然也得到了论述, 但提纲的第一条却没有提到, 这样的首段很难将文章well organized.
就我个人的经验, 不管阿狗也好一休也好, 首段为的是理清头绪,在重复的题目的时候其实是顺便读题并进行头脑风暴了, 在首段就就把自己要写的东西组织好, 会对后文的写作非常有用.

     The river of time is processing with significant change changes of the society and it seems that people in one period of time are significantly 这些副词一但丢了句子就变味了 different from people who lived at other times in the history. From the Eolithic time to the slavery society, from industrialization to modern time, ostensibly we can find so much difference many differences between these people in many aspects, liking like their life style styles, their way ways of thinking and their custom customs. For instance, if we inspect the evolution of laws in different periods, we may discover that the concepts of residents are changing over times.good example What was sentenced to be guilty, like disseminating a theory that is against the Vatican, is acceptable now in our free speech society. 第一段在论证不同时代的人看上去是不同的没什么问题, 不过一般在举例之后直接结段有些不完整, 应该做些总结性的论断, 对于例子, 并对下段进行铺垫.

  However, if some one really studies history accurately and deeply, she/he certainly would be amazed that the human nature never changes and there are so much intrinsic characters that people of different time can share. pretty topic sense One of the best to illustrate this point is that people's religion belief does not change significantly over times. The Bible, that was read by millions of millions people in the past times, though their way ways of live is were dramatically changed, is still the most influential book in one’s life of the western society. People of the new century believed in it as people did a thousand years ago. Furthermore, though the laws and bills of different time differ  in some articles, the purposes and the fundamental bases of those are exactly same, which reflects the human's pursuit of justice and order in one period that are not different from that of people in any other time in history. 圣经的例子很striking,法律那个不太合适,毕竟我们现在都承认说法律是阶级统治的工具而已,如果光想着justice的话有篇不遵守unjust laws的一休就会很难写. 当然这个还是看自圆其说就可以了，我只是建议下. 这段同样是缺乏总结, 所以会有前后文不连贯的问题.

Besides, the curiosity of our existence and circumstance and the pursuit of truth and beauty are the eternal chases of human being. The studies of history of art, science and philosophy show that this kind of pursuit has never waned since the day of human's birth. It is from Socrates to Kant, Newton to Einstein, and Vinci to Picasso, we see the struggle of human to understand and demonstrate the nature and ourselves. 这段的感觉跟上一段是同一逻辑层次的, 所以合成一段写比较合适, 另外这段可以再展开些. 最后总结下这两段的内容, 说明不同时代的人有着内在的统一性, 而历史学习能帮我们了解这种统一性, 各段中最好能出现切题的话, 这样也可以避免自己写跑题.

Studying history do does help us realize that people are intrinsic similar in different times, but the chief benefit of studying it is not just this. Studying history can contribute to explain and understand changes in human behavior and provide extensive material to study human condition, and most significantly thus help to solve the problems we are facing today and foresee the troubles may happen in the future. History is such a mirror from which we can see now and the future. Past is not just the past and we must learn from it.

In sum, though people in one period are apparently different from people who lived at other time, the study of history would help us to break down this illusion. Furthermore, the advantage of study history is not just this and we should learn from it more.

由于还要上课后半段就大概看了下,总体而言是篇很不错的ISSUE, 只是论述不太全面, 如果时间精力允许的话很多地方都值得多写些, 感觉一月对这题的写法跟我的基本一样, 所以会比较认同吧:) 另外结尾段有些单薄, 一般结尾可以深化主题, 发展论点, 对未来展望等等等等, 一两句话就显得只把文章掐了尾巴. 参考下北美范文可以发现那老头就喜欢写些理想主义的论调, 虽然个人情况不同不过那种写法确实会让人感觉文章比较有深度. 另外一月有些地方的单复数不清, 比如用了different以后同一类的东西肯定也都是复数的.

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

I partly agree the notion above that the benefit of studying history is to reveal the fact that people in different times are actually similar, but I have to admit that this is not the chief benefit of studying history and we can expect from it more.（都用I 是否太主观）   
  
The river of time is processing with significant change（changes）of the society and it seems that people in one period of time are different from people who lived at other times in the history. From the Eolithic time to the slavery society, from industrialization to modern time, ostensibly we can find so much difference (so many differences) between people in many aspects, liking their life styles, their way(ways) of thinking and their customs. For instance, if we inspect the evolution of laws in different periods, we may discover that the concepts of residents are changing over times. What was sentenced to be guilty, like disseminating a theory that is against the Vatican, is acceptable now in our free speech society.  

However, if some one really studies history accurately and deeply, she/he certainly would be amazed that the human nature never changes（似乎太绝对了） and there are so much（many） intrinsic characters that people of different time can share. One of the best (facts) to illustrate this point is that people's religion belief does not change significantly over times. The Bible, that was（不要that was） read by millions of millions people in the past times, though their way of live is（has） dramatically changed, is still the most influential book in one’s life of(in) the western society. （例子举的好好啊)People of the new century believed（believe） in it as people did a thousand years ago. Furthermore, though the laws and bills of different time differ  in some articles, the purposes and the fundamental bases of those are exactly same, which reflects the human's pursuit of justice and order in one period that are not different from that of people in any other time in history.

Besides, the curiosity of our existence and circumstance and the pursuit of truth and beauty are the eternal chases of human being. The studies of history of art, science and philosophy show that this kind of pursuit has never waned since the day of human's birth. It is from Socrates to Kant, Newton to Einstein, and Vinci to Picasso, we see the struggle of human to understand and demonstrate the nature and ourselves.Studying history do help us realize that people are intrinsic（intrinsically） similar in different times, but the chief benefit of studying it （多余的it）is not just this.

Studying history can contribute to explain and understand changes in human behavior and provide extensive material to study human condition, and most significantly thus help to solve the problems we are facing today and foresee the troubles may happen in the future. History is such a mirror from which we can see now and the future. Past is not just the past and we must learn from it.（lots of lessons and experience can gained from it,我觉得可能客观点）这一段似乎淡薄了一点，


In sum, though people in one period are apparently different from people who lived at other time, the study of history would help us to break down this illusion. Furthermore, the advantage of study history is not just this and we should learn from it more.
觉得写很流畅，中段的论述很好，不过有点头重脚轻,从开头段看，似乎是走的平衡线路，我觉得讲历史作用的少了一点。总来说，写的很好咧，值得好好学习。

[ 本帖最后由 sunnie_518 于 2006-11-21 17:47 编辑 ]