issue144 【米国有米】第6次作业

bluecathyUID: 2231215

Issue144 [米国有米]第六次作业
作者：bluecathy

144 "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value." *a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc. 是艺术家而不是批评家，带给社会一些具有持久价值的东西。

[提纲]：
1.举例《尤利西斯》来引出批评家的功能，评价作品、区分作品的好坏，总结艺术思潮，反馈给艺术家意见。
2.但和批评家相比，艺术家为艺术和社会的贡献更多。
(1)创造作品的是艺术家。艺术家进行创造，表达内心，并带给观众精神享受。而批评家并没有。没有艺术家的作品，也便没有批评家的评价。
(2)进行艺术思潮和革新的艺术家。摇滚乐。批评家更多的是总结。
(3)艺术家进行的反馈，如果没有艺术家的创造，则不具备任何意义。法国新浪潮电影。

[正文]：
According to this statement, the speaker asserts that only the artist could leave something valuable to the society rather than the critic. I agree with the speaker that in most part, the critic doesn't play an indispensable role in evaluating artists and their works; even more gives few with lasting value to our society.

It should be acknowledged that the critics help the artists and their works to be widely understood among the masses and make the value of the artists' works be passed down to history. Let's take James Joyce's <Ulysses> for example, when the author James Joyce wrote this obscure novel, the most of which are too obscure for the readers to understand, especially the literal technique that presented the thoughts and feeling of a character as they developed. In most cases, we may just know there are several characters and their name, identity in this novel; we may not possess the sensitive perspective and the capability to reach the profound meaning of this novel. But the critics interpret the implicit thoughts and emotion lying behind the novel, summarize Joyce's writing style as 'the stream of consciousness' and generalize this literal genre to more readers and critics. If there is no critics, people may fail or get late to discover the value of the art work, and thus fail to remember them. Moreover, sometimes critics may give some constructive feedback to the artists which could help the artists to improve their works.

However, comparing with the critics, the artists contribute more lasting value to the art and the society. It should be acknowledged that the value of the work is created by genuine artists, who express their hearts and thoughts through creating  and bring a spiritual enjoyment to the masses, but rather the critics who don't created any art work. If there is no work of the artists, there will be no comment of the critics.

Firstly, for those truly valuable art works, no matter how long they have to wait until being accepted, they would manifest their value eventually; even there is no any critic. Vincent Van Gogh and his paintings could prove it best. He got very bad criticism and sold only one of his paintings by his brother Theo before his death, but as time flies, people are starting to realize the value of his paintings which keep a highest sales record of painting work today. Hence, the lasting value comes from the creative artists rather than the critics.

Secondly, notwithstanding the foregoing contribution of critics in summarizing and generalizing the art genre and variational trend, it is the artist who creates and develops the genres and trends of art. For the instance of rock music, which began with Bill Haeley's <Rock Around the Clock> and developed with Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan, Beatles, Rolling Stones and so on, this music genre and his lasting value are totally created by the bands and the singers and do nothing with the critics. What the critics do are more summarization and popularization.

Furthermore, without the artists' creation, it is meaningless for the critics' feedback. Taking Nouvelle Vague (new tide of movie in France) means as an example, director Truffaut was a critic of <cahiers of cinema> in the beginning, he wrote many articles about the circumstance of cinema then, which didn't develop French cinema directly. Until directing a movie <400 blows> personally, he had brought a whole new view to French cinema, which also contributed a lasting value of new tide of French cinema. To this extent, the critics in every time of period may contribute very few to the development of true art, if the critics would also pay some attention to creating, may there be more valuable works today.

To sum up, the critics have their creativity in wide confirming and spreading the value of art works. Nevertheless, due to the concrete creation and contribution, the artists do give lasting value to the society rather than the critics.

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

[提纲]：
1.举例《尤利西斯》来引出批评家的功能，评价作品、区分作品的好坏，总结艺术思潮，反馈给艺术家意见。
2.但和批评家相比，艺术家为艺术和社会的贡献更多。
(1)创造作品的是艺术家。艺术家进行创造，表达内心，并带给观众精神享受。而批评家并没有。没有艺术家的作品，也便没有批评家的评价。
(2)进行艺术思潮和革新的艺术家。摇滚乐。批评家更多的是总结。
(3)艺术家进行的反馈，如果没有艺术家的创造，则不具备任何意义。法国新浪潮电影。  
   
[正文]：   
According to this statement, the speaker asserts that only the artistcouldleave something valuable to the society rather than the critic. Iagree withthe speaker that, in most part, the critic doesn't play anindispensable rolein evaluating artists and their works; even moregives few with [去掉] lasting value to oursociety.
[开头简练明了中心明确，好]
     
It should be acknowledged that thecriticshelp the artists and their works to be widely understood amongthe masses andmake the value of the artists' works be passed down tohistory. Let's takeJames Joyce's <Ulysses> for example, when theauthor James Joyce wrotethis obscure novel,the[去掉] most of which are [is]too obscurefor the readers to understand, especially the literaltechnique that presentedthe thoughts and feeling of a character as theydeveloped. In most cases, wemay just know there are several charactersand their name[+s], identity in thisnovel; we may not possess thesensitive perspective and the capability to reachthe profound meaningof this novel. But the criticsinterpret theimplicit thoughts and emotion lying behind the novel, summarizeJoyce'swriting style as 'the stream of consciousness' and generalizethisliteral genre to more readers and critics.[这句不错] If there is no critics, people may fail orget late [不要] to discover the value of the art work[+s], and thus fail [重复了]to remember them. Moreover, sometimes critics may give someconstructivefeedback to the artists which could help the artists to improvetheirworks.[后面应该还有个总结这段的话吧，这样更好]
[本段结构清晰，论证充分，逻辑紧密，不过怎么都是觉得是在肯定评论家，和主题段的观点不一致。]
     
However, comparing with the critics, the artists contribute more lasting valueto the art and the society. It should be acknowledgedthat the value of the work is created by genuine artists, who expresstheir hearts and thoughts through creating  and bring a spiritual enjoyment[+s]to the masses, but rather the critics who don't created[时态] any art work.. If thereis no work[+s] of the artists, there will be nocomment of the critics.
[本段是过渡段呢还是论证段，如果是觉得说的还是太少了，没有充分说明和展开你的论证。偶觉得是过渡段吧]
   
Firstly, for those truly valuable art works, no matter how long theyhave towait until being accepted, they would manifest their valueeventually; eventhere is no any critic. Vincent Van Gogh and hispaintings could prove it best.He got very bad criticism and sold onlyone of his paintingsbyhis brother Theo before his death, but as time flies, people arestarting torealize the value of his paintings which keep a highestsales record ofpainting work today. Hence, the lasting value comes fromthe creative artistsrather than the critics.[总觉得这个例子不恰当，我觉得还是先弄清Vincent Van Gogh的作品是后来被评论界还是大众认可的呢？偶改其他文章的时候，看见别人也用这个例子，不过说的是评论界最终接受了Vincent Van Gogh的作品，而不是先被大众接受。其实偶也不知道啊，你去查查吧，查好了PM我哈]
   
Secondly, notwithstanding [although吧] the foregoing contribution of critics in summarizing andgeneralizing the art genre and variationtal trend, it is the artist who creates and develops the genres and trends [前后举的数不一致] ofart. For the instance of rock music, whichbegan with Bill Haeley's<Rock Around the Clock> and developed with ElvisPresley, BobDylan, Beatles, Rolling Stones and so on, this music genre andhislasting value are totally created by the bands and the singers and do nothing with the critics. [这里太绝对了吧，如果真的是这个样子你不应该仅仅把乐队名字列出来，更应该说明下为什么没有关联] What the critics do aremore summarization and popularization.[本段感觉论证的不好，给人草草收场的感觉，其实还有很多你没有认真展开来说，导致结论不能站住脚]
（题外话：汝还对摇滚有些了解？西西，偶也稀饭摇滚，不过用来论证的话最好不要只说几个名字就完鸟，对名人事迹的详细了解也是必不可少的）
   
Furthermore, without the artists' creation, it is meaningless for thecritics'feedback. Taking Nouvelle Vague (new tide of movie in France)means as anexample, director Truffaut was a critic of <cahiers ofcinema> in thebeginning, he wrote many articles about thecircumstance of cinema then, whichdidn't develop French cinemadirectly. Until directing a movie <400blows> personally, he hadbrought a whole new view to French cinema, whichalso contributed alasting value of new tide of French cinema. [这个例子PRETTY GOOD，不过我不知道是不是像你说的那个样子]To this extent, the critics in every time of period may contributeveryfew to the development of true art, if the critics would also paysomeattention to creating, may there be more valuable works today. [论证论述还比较完整]
   
To sum up, the critics have their creativity in wide confirming andspreadingthe value of art works. Nevertheless, due to the concretecreation andcontribution, the artists do give lasting value to thesociety rather than thecritics.
   

总评：怎么说呢？写这种方向的确实不好写，虽然在众多文章中你的观点和别人不一样，给考官眼前一亮，但是如果没有驾驭这个难写方向的能力的话还是不要写，写砸了可就完了。
还有第2 段的论述怎么都觉得和全文的观点相左，语言上的问题不是很大，绿色的部分两个句式重复，而且是完全相同的，可以换个近义词或者加个副词什么的来避免。该说的偶都说了。提纲一定要写好啊