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[i习作temp] ISSUE41 大杀四方小组第一次作业...表笑偶 [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-12-29 23:59:24 |显示全部楼层

Issue 41


“Such non-mainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.”

If an astrologer tells you that in the coming year you’ll get a fortune of promotion, you may be very glad and work harder; but if he tells you there’s a traffic accident when you drive. Astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits have dangerous effect in a society, not only for their miraculous and bewitching effect, but it is manipulated.

Such superstitions as astrology and fortune-telling have never been proved by any technological methods. Paradoxes which could not be certified recently exist in the real life give gaps for superstitions. For the controllable, they could be used to explain unknown philosophies in the less-developed areas. Deaths, climate changes will be relevant to the God, that somehow releases their fears about the nature. Take a miserable mother for example, fortune-teller’s words which her coma seriously son would become sober in three months should be psychological comfort to her. That is all the positive effect I could find about superstitions, but the negative effect is obvious. People’s faith could be confused by pursuing astrology or fortune-telling, even more horrible, controlled by heretical crimes and terrorists. Terrorists always have a kind of loyal on psychic and paranormal pursuits, and the pursuits held by groups of people will agglomerate to be robust power. Both the little positive and huge negative effects evidence that superstitions satisfy someone’s particular inquiry indeed.

However, whether a theory or thinking plays a vital role in society should be determined by the following standards: whether confirmed by majority, whether represents the mainstream values of human’s life, whether refers a central social psychology. According to these standards, it is hard to say astrology, fortune-telling and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society.

Persons are the complexion of ration and irration. When rational thinking cannot satisfy their pursuing on security of psychological from within, and the physical from without, they are easily turn to irrational thinking, such as astrology, fortune-telling and other things with mystery. Government should react and control the spread of superstitions from the begins, avoid serious outputs.

Outlines of Issue 174


Laws should not be rigid of fixed. Instead, they should be flexible enough to take account of various circumstances, times, and places.

Laws are the body of official rules and regulations, and used to regulate citizens’ behavior and govern the social affairs. Their function defines them to be strict and authoritative.

A law which takes account of various of factors is good, and it is even the inquiring of legislation.

But in fact, no laws could contains all the possibilities which might happen in the unknown future. Laws’ strictness and authority will be weakened by the over flexibilities, meanwhile, frequent changes might confuse people.

Fairness and just which are spirits of legislation could never be changed, that reflects the ultimate values of society-----equal, just, dignity and so on.


[ 本帖最后由 郁香那夜 于 2006-12-30 22:20 编辑 ]

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发表于 2006-12-30 00:12:19 |显示全部楼层
支持一下,睡觉先……困

待看……:loveliness:

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Leo狮子座 荣誉版主 挑战ETS奖章

发表于 2006-12-30 12:25:43 |显示全部楼层
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-208286-1-1.html
请修改您的发贴格式,改好后回复此短消息,再将主题打开.
回复消息时候附上此作文的连接.
Nobody can casually succeed, it comes from the thoroughself-control and the will.


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发表于 2007-1-1 03:09:00 |显示全部楼层
If an astrologer tells you that in the coming year you’ll get a fortune of promotion[get a promotion即可], you may be very glad and work harder; but if he tells you there’s a traffic accident when you drive[进行时较好,因开车属于短期行为]. Astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits have dangerous[用negative较好] effect in a society, not only for[用because较好] their miraculous and bewitching effect, but [but also because]it is[they are] manipulated.
[第一段不太合适使用具体例子,应该重点建立文章主题句,统领全文]

Such superstitions as astrology and fortune-telling have never been proved by any technological methods. Paradoxes[paradox的原意是“自相矛盾的话”,估计你想表达的是谜题] which could not be certified recently exist[定语从句,用动名词] in the real life give gaps for superstitions. For the controllable, they[指代谁?] could be used to explain unknown philosophies in the less-developed areas. Deaths[Death], climate changes will be relevant[这里是被动语态吗?] to the God, that somehow releases their[谁?] fears about the nature. Take a miserable mother for example, fortune-teller’s words which[同位语,用that] her coma seriously son would become sober in three months should be psychological[psychologically,副词] comfort to her. That is all the positive effect I could find about superstitions, but the negative effect is obvious.[for example,] People’s faith could be confused by pursuing[pursuiting] astrology or fortune-telling[+and], even more horrible, controlled by heretical crimes and terrorists. Terrorists always have a kind of loyal on psychic and paranormal pursuits, and the pursuits held by groups of people will agglomerate to be robust power. Both the little positive and huge negative effects evidence[这个词用得好:)] that superstitions satisfy someone’s particular inquiry indeed.
[本段没有主题句]

However, whether a theory or thinking plays a vital role in society should be determined by the following standards: whether [it is]confirmed by majority, whether [it] represents the mainstream values of human’s life, whether [it] refers a central social psychology.[句式单一] According to these standards, it is hard to say[that不可省略,同位语标志] astrology, fortune-telling and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society.
[有主题句,却没有论证]

Persons[好像没有这种用法,建议用human beings] are the complexion [??]of ration and irration[rationality and irrationality]When rational thinking cannot satisfy their pursuing on security of psychological from within, and the physical from without, they are easily turn to irrational thinking, such as astrology, fortune-telling and other things with mystery[这句不通,请检查]. Government should react and control the spread of superstitions from the begins, avoid serious outputs.

评语:

1 结构问题:整体而言,缺乏系统性。issue一般应该按总分总的结构来写,而且主体部分每段也应该用总分结构来写。但是这片文章显然没有这样的结构。
2 语言问题:有一些语法错误,在文章中已经标出。另外,你很多词用错了,虽然拼写正确,意思却与你想表达的差了好远。
3 论证问题:见每段的结尾
4 优点: 有一些语言上的亮点:)
  缺点:缺乏整体结构,语言需要进一步加工。

我的意见仅供参考哈:)

yotta

[ 本帖最后由 yotta 于 2007-1-1 15:36 编辑 ]

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发表于 2007-1-1 23:15:39 |显示全部楼层

万谢了~

万谢了,DOWN下来,打出来再好好研读~~~~
还没有习惯在电脑上看英文呢......慢慢练习
我会再努力的!!!

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RE: ISSUE41 大杀四方小组第一次作业...表笑偶 [修改]

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