ISSUE51 【CSMY作文互改小组】第二次作业

stevenhuUID: 172722

ISSUE51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

Do not agree

0. I concede that students will learn knowledge more quickly when it meet their individual need and interest.

1. Education is aimed to provide general purpose knowledge and skills.

2. Fully tailored to meet interests of each student would be harm for students to receive a proper knowledge structure.
DATE:2007-1-3  WORD:495

The speaker asserts that only under the circumstance that education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is it truly effective. Perhaps some one may have the same attitude with the speaker, for it would be really efficient for one to learn what he or she needs or likes. However, I do not agree with it since the general purpose of education does not allow us to do so.

I concede that students can learn knowledge more efficiently when it meets their individual need and interest. Because they though what they learn is of great importance to them, or very funny, students will certainly be devoted to learning and studying with passion. To some degree, most students' highly involvement in computer games can illustrate this phenomenon. In fact, it is hardly for them to receive formal education about how to play those games either in school or family, but they are really motivated by the self-satisfaction derived from it that they find various ways to learn how to play well. At the same time, since individual need and interest can be fulfilled in this process, most people would surely believe education of this kind is truly effective.

However, the real aim of education is not just to provide knowledge or information according one's requirement. Modern education, as well as its ancestors, is aimed to train people's scientific reasoning skills and cultivate people's characters, thus provide society with qualified element which can advance the development of our world. Commercial, financial and political leaders, such as Bill gates, Alan Greenspan and Bill Clinton, as well as tens of thousands of common workers and clerks, are all the product of education under this general aim. Since education generally is a group activity, which needs work division and cooperation, it can not provide specifically tailored products.

What is more, even if education can really designed to satisfy the individual needs and hobbies of each student, this kind of education will fail to supply students with proper knowledge framework, thus is harm to student's development and is of no significant effect. As is known to all, a diversified knowledge structure would provide people with more creative ideas which are of key importance to modern society. At the same time, though many people are regarded as expert or professionals because they are sophisticated and excellent enough at solving problems in certain fields, the most fundamental knowledge of other discipline learned from various kinds of formal education also contributes significantly to his or her success. The compound knowledge framework learned from education is truly effective when people steps in society and receives the real test of practice.

To sum up, though the assertion that providing individual education seems plausible because it can satisfy one's temporary need, the general aim and real effect of modern education really proves the opposite of the assertion, that is the truly effective solution is to provide people with general purpose education.

ISSUE214
不同意。
1．承认，社会发现并培养有天分的孩子可能使得他们在特长的方面表现优秀。
              中科大特长班的例子。
2．但是，让他们自己自由发展，并不见得就不会不优秀，甚至在没有挖掘潜力的状态。
              爱因斯坦，甚至让老师觉着他笨。
3．社会集中精力对他们的培养可能会导致他们心里的巨大压力，从而不利于他们的发展。
               
ISSUE153
同意
1．现代教育手段可以使得信息同时经过多个通道输入大脑，从而大大提升了效率。Eg.网路交互式教学。
2．现代教育手段可以提供具有更强时效性的学习资料，提高的知识传播的速度。Eg.最新的paper，和专业材料往往都是以电子版的形式出现的。
3．当然，纸介质的书仍有其很多不可替代的作用，比如阅读时更舒服，很多历史资料没有电子版的等等。
ISSUE80
不同意
1．承认评分使得很多人为了考试而学习，从而总是机械的不加思考的接受标准答案，并不利于发展智力。Eg.中国的高考。
2．但是，由于学习本身需要投入很多的精力，并且并非那么有趣，如果不采取类似评分这样的监督评价机制，学生们容易变得懒惰而不学习。
3．如果没有评分机制，学校也会比较难以评价自身的教学效果，不利于提高整个教育的水平。
ISSUE191
同意
1．教育的目的本身就有两个：提高个人素质，锻炼个人的技能。
2．教育的这两个方面本来就是相辅相成的。高效的工作在给个人生活以更好的物质条件，同时，丰富的个人生活使得工作时心情更愉快。
3．但怎样才能equally devote 是个问题，因为他们两个本身就很难度量，而且由于相辅相成，很难明显区分。



[ 本帖最后由 stevenhu 于 2007-1-3 11:18 编辑 ]

solohanUID: 2279589

The speaker asserts that only under the circumstance that education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is it truly effective. Perhaps some one may have the same attitude with the speaker, for it would be really efficient for one to learn what he or she needs or likes. However, I do not agree with it since the general purpose of education does not allow us to do so.

I concede that students can learn knowledge more efficiently when it meets their individual need and interest. Because they though (taught) what they learn is of great importance to them (好多they，分别指代的是谁，有点迷糊了，最好和主句一致吧), or very funny(是和of great importance并列吗？有点累赘了), students will certainly be devoted to learning and studying with passion. To some degree, most students' highly involvement (involving) in computer games can illustrate this phenomenon. In fact, it is hardly for them to receive formal education about how to play those games either in school or family, but they are really motivated by the self-satisfaction derived from it that they find various ways to learn how to play well (这个例子是说明了passion的作用，但与教育过程中的内容还是不同吧，或许举某个学科的某个名人的具体例子会更有说服力一点). At the same time (这句话更像是小结这一段吧，用这个短语在逻辑上有点不通), since individual need and interest can be fulfilled in this process, most people would surely believe education of this kind is truly effective.

However, the real aim of education is not just to provide knowledge or information according one's requirement. Modern education, as well as its ancestors, is aimed to train people's scientific reasoning skills and cultivate people's characters, thus provide society with qualified element which can advance the development of our world. Commercial, financial and political leaders, such as Bill gates, Alan Greenspan and Bill Clinton, as well as tens of thousands of common workers and clerks, are all the product of education under this general aim (Gates不是被赶出学校的吗？呵呵。我觉得这个教育的“真正目的”并不予满足个人需要矛盾啊，因为教育还是提供了不同的内容和专业，不同的人可以选择不同的方向，这些名人的例子并没有说明他们受的教育就不是满足了他们需要的。). Since education generally is a group activity, which needs work division and cooperation, it can not provide specifically tailored products. (这段的主要思想我还是认同和理解了的，但觉得在说理过程中有点偏了，而且不够深入，感觉就是说了一句话，举了一个例子就总结了。)

What is more, even if education can really (be) designed to satisfy the individual needs and hobbies of each student, this kind of education will fail to supply students with proper knowledge framework, thus is harm to student's development and is of no significant effect. As is known to all, a diversified (我不知道和diverse有什么不同呢，因为我一般用的后者，不知道你的是不是正确的) knowledge structure would provide people with more creative ideas which are of key importance to modern society. At the same time, though many people are regarded as expert or professionals because they are sophisticated and excellent enough at solving problems in certain fields, the most fundamental knowledge of other discipline learned from various kinds of formal education also contributes significantly to his or her success. The compound knowledge framework learned from education is truly effective when people steps in society and receives the real test of practice.(前面又肯定了diversity，后面又说fundamental，看起来更像是平衡的观点，并没有说明后者更重要)

To sum up, though the assertion that providing individual education seems plausible because it can satisfy one's temporary need, the general aim and real effect of modern education really proves the opposite of the assertion, that is the truly effective solution is to provide people with general purpose education.

看得出来很用心地用一些句式和长句。但是要注意变换啊，since和of + n 似乎有点多了。
整体的逻辑还是明白的，但是具体到某一段，多说几句，将轻重分清楚，会更有说服力些。
愚人只见，仅供参考:loveliness:

znrUID: 2240574

有个比较弱的想法
如果大家都这样写
开头The speaker asserts that
结尾To sum up
会怎样呢？

stevenhuUID: 172722

谢谢，提的意见很深刻啊，我觉着我现在缺少很多例子来证明自己的论点，文章写的越来越空洞，格式化了，这点还要多多努力改正！看看以前写的文章，发现开头和结尾基本都一样，也该换衣换了。