0706G － CSMY作文互改小组

meichengyuUID: 2121098

51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。

提纲：
1.       教育的目的首先是为了向社会输送有用的人才，促进社会的进步；塑造人们的品德和约束他们的行为，保证社会的和平稳定。再者就是为了将祖先的文化遗产保留并传承，继而发扬光大。所以真正有效的教育是要尽可能的达到以上的要求。

2．社会的各个领域需要形形色色的人才，比如：医学，工业，农业等等，只有从每个方面都取得进步，才能使得整个社会进步。所以教育，尤其是高等教育，需要引导和发现学生的兴趣及专长，针对不同的学生采取不同的教育方式，因材施教。这样才能尽可能的发挥出教育的力量，不浪费任何人力资源，为社会的各个层面输送最合适的人才力量。

3．为了保证社会的和平稳定，每个自由平等的国家和社会都有道德和法律标准，正如每种游戏都有其游戏规则一样。而这些标准是可以衡量和约束每一个人的。当对学生实行这种道德观念的教育时，其方式方法应该是一致的。只有这样才能保证人与人之间的平等。

4．保留并且发扬传统的文化遗产是教育的另外一个重要目的。如果要做到真正的有效率，教育则需要根据地区及种族的差异进行特殊的设计，因为不同的地区和种族有着极大的文化和风俗差异。


As we know, the battlefield in science and academic world is the main competition in the future. So, education takes a more and more important role in the society. Many people suggest that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student. However, in my point of view, it seems logical but not thoroughly enough because of several factors listed as follows.

First of all, education has three main purposes. First, it provides uncounted persons with various abilities to the society and makes it improve faster and faster. Second, in order to keep the world peaceful and stable, it also shape people's moral character and restrict their behaviors. Last but not least, a very important aim of the education is to protect the culture bequest and hand that down from generation to generation. From above, the truly effective education must achieve these goals perfectly.

Furthermore, each field in the society needs a great amount of people with special skills, such as the agriculture, the industry, the carrying trade, etc. Only if the progresses in all these areas are synchro, the whole society is truly improving. Therefore, education, especially the higher education, should induct and discover every student's interest and speciality and set a project to teach students in accordance of their aptitude. Through this method, the biggest power of education could be released and the social human resource would not be waste. Transporting proper human resource to every corner of the world manifest that education like this is pretty effective.

In addition, to ensure the society peaceful and stable, as every game has its own rules, every democratic country has its own moral standards and laws which could weight and restrict everyone. While infusing the moral consciousness to the students, the teaching materials and modes should be uniform. Only through this au pair rules the equality between people could be guaranteed.

Finally, another key point of education aims is to protect and develop our traditional culture bequest. Because of the differences between the areas and religions are huge, the education of those places should be altered to fit each of them. For example, Tibet, a region in west China, which has its own language for a long time should use the text books with the translation of Tibetan language instead of the whole Chinese in their schools. Besides, in those inland cities, some curriculums are always different from those coastal cities. For instance, swimming is a required course in XiamenUniversity, but in some western places in China water is rare or even luxury goods. In these cases, education has to be set refer to specific situation.

All in all, designing to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is impossible in education. But to be truly effective one, it must be flexible as much as possible to fit the change from place to place and from religion to religion.

lonixUID: 2202232

51. "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
教育只有被专门设计来满足每一个学生个人需求和兴趣的时候才是真正有效率的。
提纲：1.教育的目的首先是为了向社会输送有用的人才，促进社会的进步；塑造人们的品德和约束他们的行为，保证社会的和平稳定。再者就是为了将祖先的文化遗产保留并传承，继而发扬光大。所以真正有效的教育是要尽可能的达到以上的要求。
2．社会的各个领域需要形形色色的人才，比如：医学，工业，农业等等，只有从每个方面都取得进步，才能使得整个社会进步。所以教育，尤其是高等教育，需要引导和发现学生的兴趣及专长，针对不同的学生采取不同的教育方式，因材施教。这样才能尽可能的发挥出教育的力量，不浪费任何人力资源，为社会的各个层面输送最合适的人才力量。
3．为了保证社会的和平稳定，每个自由平等的国家和社会都有道德和法律标准，正如每种游戏都有其游戏规则一样。而这些标准是可以衡量和约束每一个人的。当对学生实行这种道德观念的教育时，其方式方法应该是一致的。只有这样才能保证人与人之间的平等。
4．保留并且发扬传统的文化遗产是教育的另外一个重要目的。如果要做到真正的有效率，教育则需要根据地区及种族的差异进行特殊的设计，因为不同的地区和种族有着极大的文化和风俗差异。

As we know, the battlefield in science and academic world is the main competition in the future. /战场是竞争，这怎么说？ So, education takes a more and more important role in the /the删除 society. Many people suggest that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student/个人难道不包括学生么？. However, in my point of view, it seems logical but not thoroughly enough because of several factors listed as follows.

First of all, education has three main purposes. First, it provides uncounted persons with various abilities to the society and makes it/it makes it, 后一个it指代什么？ improve faster and faster. Second, in order to keep the world peaceful and stable, it also shape people's moral character and restrict their behaviors. Last but not least, a very important aim of the education is to protect the culture bequest/文化遗产culture heritage and to hand that down from generation to generation. From above, the truly effective education must achieve these goals perfectly.　(应该定义一下，有效的教育就是具有上面目的的教育，但是你没说，只是指了一下（其实上面是你说的目的），让人费解)

Furthermore, each field in the society needs a great amount of people with special skills, such as the agriculture, the/删除 industry, the carrying trade, etc. Only if/when the progress/删除es in all these areas are synchro /synchronous, the whole society is truly improving. Therefore, education, especially the higher education, should induct and discover every student's interests and speciality/specialties and set a project to teach students in accordance of/with their aptitude. Through this method, the biggest power of education could be released and the social human resource would not be waste. Transporting proper human resource to every corner of the world manifests that education like this is pretty effective.　(怎样证明它呢?需要实例)

In addition, to ensure the society is peaceful and stable, as every game has its own rules, every democratic country has its own moral standards and laws which could weight/weight everyone是什么意思？ and restrict everyone. While infusing the moral consciousness to(灌输一个是instill into, 一个是infuse with) the students, the teaching materials and modes should be uniform.(这句话有点让人费解) Only through this pair rules the equality between people could be guaranteed.

Finally, another key point of education aims is to protect and develop our traditional culture bequest/文化遗产culture heritage. Because of the differences between the areas and religions are huge, the education of those places should be altered to fit each of them. For example, Tibet, a region in west China, which has its own language for a long time, should use the text books with the translation of Tibetan language/Tibetan本来就有藏语的意思 instead of the whole Chinese in their schools. Besides, in those inland cities, some curriculums/curricula are always different from those coastal cities./curricula和城市比较么？ For instance, swimming is a required course in XiamenUniversity, but in some western places in China water is rare or even luxury goods. In these cases, education has to be set refer to specific situation.
/你上一段的主题是保护和发展各地文化遗产，我不知道游泳与文化遗产有什么内在的关系

All in all, designing to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is impossible in education. But to be truly effective one, it must be flexible as much as possible to fit the change from place to place and from religion to religion.

总评：
(1)        从你中文的提纲中我能很清楚地看到你所要表达的意思，但是你没有很好地把你的中文想法写到你的英文里面去，好像意思有点偏差似的。我想你的原意肯定不是这样。
(2)        还是和argument一样，定冠词的用法好像在文章中用得不太好，该有的地方没有，不该有的地方有。
(3)        然后就是指代的问题和介词搭配的问题。
(4)        思想其实很好，也考虑得比较全面，但是某些地方，比如Transporting proper human resource to every corner of the world manifests that education like this is pretty effective，没有东西证明，这就让读者感觉你在说空话大话。

meichengyuUID: 2121098

感谢这么仔细的修改！
修改后再贴上！
努力中~~~