Issue130 【CSMY作文互改小组】第三次作业

siyuandingUID: 2154137

Issue130
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎么样去建设一个更好的社会。

观点 有保留的反对
提纲
1 孩子作为未来社会建设的后备军，他们的社会化对于他们将来适应社会，建设社会至关重要
2 孩子其它方面能力的培养也很重要
3 虽然现在社会上存在一些不好的现象，但从当代社会的进步和发展来看，人们已经学会如何去教育能够带来美好未来的孩子

Is the destiny of society determined by how our children are socialized? It might be tempting to agree with the speaker on the basis that socialization plays a crucial role in educating children to adapt to the future society. However, the speaker overlooks some other aspects, such as creativity and some heroic qualities, which our children are to possess. Although there exist some problems in our society, we definitely learn to raise children seeing the excellent progress of society in various fields.

I agree with the speaker with respect to healthy socialization of children which will bring out a better society. Human infants are born without any culture. They must be transformed by their parents, teachers, and others into social and cultural animals. The general process of acquiring culture is referred to as socialization. If children are educated with healthy viewpoints to interact among the group, they are bound to grow into tolerant and cooperative citizens. Just look to the school playground where children learn to cooperate, negotiate, and adopt a respectful manner with others, where they also learn about the bad influence disagreeable and even aggressive behaviors may bring about. Without those one may become a selfish, perhaps even an asocial adult. In this sense, the children-socialization plays a great part for developing children's ability of cooperation with others, and its role could not be replaced by any other learning.

However, socialization is not the only factor concerned with our future society. There are other factors such as creativity, some heroic qualities like fortitude, endurance, courage, and etc. we must rely on. It is common thought that our society has dramatically changed by modern science and technology, and human had made extraordinary progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades. During this period, people’s creativity plays a great important role. Take Thomas Edison for example. When Edison was born, society still thought of electricity as a novelty, a fad. By the time he died, entire cities were lit by electricity. Much of the credit for that progress goes to Edison. In his lifetime, Edison patented 1,093 inventions, earning his the nickname "Wizard of Menlo Park". And he is one of those great scientists in the electrical age. Somewhat heroic qualities are also very important. Suppose one person with those qualities who will devote himself/herself entirely to the career, stubbornly persist in times of trouble and finally achieve remarkable success. As we know, Amelia Earhart, who set several world's flight records, was regarded as a feminist icon who blazed a trail of achievement for following generations of women. All her success sprang primarily from the outstanding courage of breaking human limits of physical and mental abilities.

When it comes to the question whether we have learned how to raise children who will bring about a better society, I must defend our education system and point out children have been raised well while some of them may fail to acquire enough parenting at home or learn effectively in schools because of broken or impoverished families and inefficient schools. To witness effective education, one needs no further than the harmonious, multicultural society around us. Concepts such as tolerance, diversity, multi-culturalism and difference have become a part of the operative vocabulary of social services. More cares have been taken on the marginalized groups like extremely poor households, the disabled, and homosexuals. Unprecedented attention has been focused onto public health by protecting our natural environment and by carrying out preferential policies on food and drug industries. Although there are many problems with our youth generation such as violence, drugs, alcohol, and teen pregnancy, our society is on its way to a better one.

In sum, the speaker's assertion is not without merit as far as the role of socialization in children's future lives is concerned. However, there are other factors such as creativity and some heroic qualities rather than solo socialization, which can also determine the destiny of society. Moreover, our society is gradually evolving into a more respectful, tolerant and harmonious one, notwithstanding some problems within it.

参考资料
同主题写作第五期－－issue130

meichengyuUID: 2121098

Issue130
How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
现在孩子的社会化程度决定了社会的命运。可惜的是，我们还没有学会教孩子怎么样去建设一个更好的社会。

观点 有保留的反对
提纲
1 孩子作为未来社会建设的后备军，他们的社会化对于他们将来适应社会，建设社会至关重要
2 孩子其它方面能力的培养也很重要
3 虽然现在社会上存在一些不好的现象，但从当代社会的进步和发展来看，人们已经学会如何去教育能够带来美好未来的孩子

Is the destiny of society determined by how our children are socialized? It might be tempting to agree with the speaker on the basis that socialization plays a crucial role in educating children to adapt to the future society. However, the speaker overlooks some other aspects, such as creativity and some heroic qualities, which our children are to possess. Although there exist some problems in our society, we definitely learn to raise children seeing the excellent progress of society in various fields.

I agree with the speaker with respect to healthy socialization of children which will bring out a better society. Human infants are born without any culture.（这句话是什么意思里？人生下来没有文化？感觉不爽。） They must be transformed（这个词有转变的意思，和你想表达的意思不大一样吧？婴孩应该是一片空白，不是转变，而是灌输吧？） by their parents, teachers, and others into social and cultural animals. The general process of acquiring culture is referred to as socialization. If children are educated with healthy viewpoints to interact among the group, they are bound to grow into tolerant and cooperative citizens. Just look to the school playground where children learn to cooperate, negotiate, and adopt a respectful manner with others, where they also learn about the bad influence disagreeable and even aggressive behaviors may bring about. Without those one may become a selfish, perhaps even an asocial adult. In this sense, the children-socialization plays a great part for developing children's ability of cooperation with others, and its role could not be replaced by any other learning.（总觉得你的用词和句式怪怪的，不知何解？~~~~）

However, socialization is not the only factor concerned with our future society. There are other factors such as creativity, some heroic qualities like fortitude, endurance, courage, and etc.（etc.单独用就行了，不要and吧，如果要就用and so on。） we must rely on. It is common thought that our society has dramatically changed by modern science and technology, and human had made extraordinary progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades. During this period, people’s creativity plays a great important role. Take Thomas Edison for example. When Edison was born, society still thought of electricity as a novelty, a fad. By the time he died, entire cities were lit by electricity. Much of the credit for that progress goes to Edison. In his lifetime, Edison patented 1,093 inventions, earning his the nickname "Wizard of Menlo Park". And he is one of those great scientists in the electrical age. Somewhat heroic qualities are also very important. Suppose one person with those qualities who will devote himself/herself entirely to the career, stubbornly persist in times of trouble and finally achieve remarkable success. As we know, Amelia Earhart, who set several world's flight records, was regarded as a feminist icon who blazed a trail of achievement for following generations of women. All her success sprang primarily from the outstanding courage of breaking human limits of physical and mental abilities.（这段还不错。就是最后还要加个小结性的句子。）

When it comes to the question whether we have learned how to raise children who will bring about a better society, I must defend our education system and point out children have been raised well while some of them may fail to acquire enough parenting at home or learn effectively in schools because of broken or impoverished families and inefficient schools. To witness effective education, one needs no further than the harmonious, multicultural society around us. Concepts such as tolerance, diversity, multi-culturalism and difference have become a part of the operative vocabulary of social services. More cares have been taken on the marginalized groups like extremely poor households, the disabled, and homosexuals. Unprecedented attention has been focused onto public health by protecting our natural environment and by carrying out preferential policies on food and drug industries. Although there are many problems with our youth generation such as violence, drugs, alcohol, and teen pregnancy, our society is on its way to a better one.

In sum, the speaker's assertion is not without merit as far as the role of socialization in children's future lives is concerned. However, there are other factors such as creativity and some heroic qualities rather than solo socialization, which can also determine the destiny of society. Moreover, our society is gradually evolving into a more respectful, tolerant and harmonious one, notwithstanding some problems within it.

前面有点乱，后面还不错，就是结尾感觉太匆忙，说的不完善，和开头句式太雷同，应该换换说法

meichengyuUID: 2121098

记得也帮我看看~