issue196

蔓草菊UID: 2195399

Technology creates more problems than it solves, and may threaten or damage the quality of life.
1提出自己的观点（不同意）
2技术在教育方面的作用
3技术在交通方面的作用
4技术在业余生活的作用
5让步，提出解决办法
6总结
Nowadays, technology has a far-reaching influence on every aspect of our lives. It has dramatically improved the living conditions of human beings, at the same time, it has brought some problems to us. However, as far as I am concerned, the advantages from technology out weight the disadvantages.
For one thing, technology makes our education more flexible. Comparing with the past, we don not have to sit in the classroom to learn things, but can acquire knowledge from internet. With the development of multimedia, we can make what we learn more understood. In a word, thanks to the modern technology, we have more chances and ways to learn new things and make us informed.
For another thing, the quality of the transportation system has been improved greatly. We can travel everywhere we want by car, train, plane. Convenient transportation can improve the efficiency of our daily business. In addition, smooth transportation can make the traveling industry prosperous, thus make the culture of our country more understood.
Last but not least, some modern technology has bring much fun to us. We can relax us by watching tv after the whole day’s hard work. We can get much entertainment from internet such as chatting with our friends, playing games even shopping from the net.
However, as a coin has its two sides, when technology does produce convenience to us, it also causes a few problems such as Nuclear threats, biochemical weapons, pollutions. Admittedly, those problems have seriously affected our lives. For example, with the large amount of chemicals such as exhausted gases emitted from some factories and cars, we have suffered the lose of the ozone lay. That means that the creatures on earth will be exposed to the dangerous rays from the sun. as to these problems, we can also rely on the modern technology to solve as long as our technology makes progress further. We can take advantage of the modern technology and try our best to control the problems caused by the modern technology.
To sum up, technology makes our lives more convenient than before in every aspect, although it may cause some problems to us. But I think those issues are transient and can be solved by the advanced technology. We can take advantage of the modern technology to satisfy ourselves, at the same time, make equal efforts to find new ways to solve the problems. Only in this way, can we live a better life  

hedou992UID: 2199425

Nowadays, technology has a far-reaching influence on every aspect of our lives. It has dramatically improved the living conditions of human beings, at the same time, it has brought some problems to us. However, as far as I am concerned, the advantages from technology out weight the disadvantages.
[开头段简洁明了，直接点出论点。句式用词多变，很好。]

For one thing, technology makes our education more flexible. Comparing with the past, we do not have to sit in the classroom to learn things, but can acquire knowledge from internet. With the development of multimedia, we can make what we learn more understood.(前面这句怎么感觉别扭啊，改为we can understand what we learn more deeply 行吗？) In a word, thanks to the modern technology, we have more chances and ways to learn new things and make us informed.
[该段说明科技给教育带了的好处。表达清楚。]

For another thing, the quality of the transportation system has been improved greatly. We can travel everywhere we want by car, train, plane.(word里显示应为：and plane) Convenient transportation can improve the efficiency of our daily business. In addition, smooth transportation can make the traveling industry prosperous, thus make the culture of our country more understood.
[科技给交通带来的好处。]

Last but not least, some modern technology has bring(brought) much fun to us. We can relax us by watching tv(TV) after the whole day’s hard work. We can get much entertainment from internet such as chatting with our friends, playing games even shopping from the net.
[科技给日常生活带来的好处。]

However, as a coin has its two sides, when technology does produce convenience to us, it also causes a few problems such as Nuclear(neclear) threats, biochemical weapons, pollutions. Admittedly, those problems have seriously affected our lives. For example, with the large amount of chemicals such as exhausted gases emitted from some factories and cars, we have suffered the lose(lost) of the ozone lay. That means that the creatures on earth will be exposed to the dangerous rays from the sun. as(As) to these problems, we can also rely on the modern technology to solve as long as our technology makes progress further. We can take advantage of the modern technology and try our best to control the problems caused by the modern technology.
[科技带来的问题。科技产生的问题也需要科技来解决。该段论述较清晰。]

To sum up, technology makes our lives more convenient than before in every aspect, although it may cause some problems to us. But I think those issues are transient and can be solved by the advanced technology. We can take advantage of the modern technology to satisfy ourselves, at the same time, make equal efforts to find new ways to solve the problems. Only in this way, can we live a better life  
[结尾很好。与全文相呼应。]
[评论：
文章的开头结尾很好。整个文章论证较充分。给人的感觉是简洁明了。
尤其值得学习的是transition words 用的很好：at the same time, however, as far as I am concerned, for one thing, for another thing, last but not least, comparing with, in a word, in addition, for example, that means, admittedly, but, to sum up, although, only in this way, etc.
字数略显少，可以再展开点，说说如果没有科技人类生活质量会是怎么样。]
继续努力，加油！

蔓草菊UID: 2195399

谢谢，这篇我觉得写得不深入，是我写过的字数最少的一篇，我有空在改改去

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

汗, 这么多条目很不利于展开的, 我觉得没必要学北美那样分领域论证, 让不同出发点的例子分布到各领域去就能达到比较全面的论证了, 这样反而显得受到限制