issue36 微观状态小组第五次作业 诚恳排砖

aunknownUID: 2173661

TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."


Whether the greatness of a person can be evaluated by his or her contemporaries or those later people rests on the disparity of different realms. Although the achievements, in some realms, can be perceived and recognized immediately, they, in other realms, cannot at once, especially considering the intangibility of some contributions and the democratic system. As a result, they can merely be recognized by those who live in the future after experiencing the test over time.

In politics, whether a state is democratic or not will have a great impact on the people's justification about the greatness of individual. As for a despotic country, civilian's liberty might be fully deprived and civilian's will also might be distorted and oppressed by the authorities, and at the same time, in order to consolidate the status, the governor often exert various deceptions by which his or her greatness was enfolded in the face of the masses. As a result, the contemporary persons may entirely be deceived and make a false evaluation to the politician. Hitler, a sovereign of former German during the Two World War, can well illustrate the above point. It is through the limitation of talking and the frenzied individual adoration that he cheated the Germen's appreciation at that times. But after a democratic German was born, people who have liberty and democracy commonly look on him as a hideous man. On the contrary, in a democratic country like the United States where the Constitution endow the people adequate liberty and democracy, what the politicians do are fully superintended, and therefore it is relatively true and can be recognized by the masses. Under this situation, their contemporaries can make an objective and just evaluation.

In arts, when individual works have brought about a large influence on people and can be recognized, the greatness of them can be decided by their contemporaries; while due to the limitation of times, it is difficult for their peers to recognize some works that imply certain profound and precocious consciousness and therefore those who live in the future can conversely better censor the values of these works.  Perhaps some people argue that since the reason for the greatness of an artist is his or her works and the reason for the greatness of a works is that its values can be recognized by the people, the artist who can not be identified at his times is not outstanding. Indeed, the opuses of some artists like Beethoven are praised not only nowadays but also at their own times in that the melody of piano consonant people. Nevertheless, what these people fail to see is that many art prodigies have their own specific ideas that possibly have gone beyond their contemporaries'. For a common person at his times, Von Gogh's paints may be extremely obscure and incomprehensible, so people can not identify his works; while from today's perspectives, people find that values of his works that reflect a sort of quite profound meaning from humanity. Consequently, It is due to the development of ideas that the late persons can make an more objective evaluation for those who have ideas beyond times than their peers.

In sports, since the achievement of athletes is what all of people can see, their contemporaries may entirely make an accurate justification about whether they are great.  For example, what Michael Jordan has achieved do already far outweigh almost any of his predecessors, which has been acknowledged commonly, so we clearly can acknowledge his greatness in basketball. For that matter, some people can question that if some later athletes surpass Jordan, then the evaluation to him is too rashly and should be made by those who live after him. In fact, these persons seem to fail to take into account the fact that the sprit of sports is to surpass the former, which is what a athlete consistently seeks after. If he or she can achieve the extent to which the former cannot accomplish, what the athlete can be regarded as greatness by his or her peers? Obviously, of course he or she may.

In conclusion, there are distinct situation in different fields. When people can definitely realize the achievement of contemporary figures in a democratic country, they fully may establish whether he or she is a great person; otherwise, the evaluation of the later persons will be more objective and accurate.

nostrumUID: 2124189

TOPIC: ISSUE36 - "The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries."


Whether the greatness of a person can be evaluated by his or her contemporaries or those later people rests on the disparity of different realms. Although the achievements, in some realms, can be perceived and recognized immediately, they,这个they放在这里奇奇怪怪的 换成However怎么样？ in other realms, cannot at once,我觉得这个是awkward word especially considering the intangibility of some contributions and the democratic system. As a result, they can merely merely有否定的意味，用在这里不够恰当recognized by those who live in the future after experiencing the test over time. 开头属于安全型，大家都这么写，语言不错，只是没有什么很吸引人眼球的东西，但是，这样处理完全可以的。

In politics, whether a state is democratic or not will have a great impact on the people's justification about the greatness of individual. As for a despotic country, civilian's liberty might be fully deprived and civilian's will also might be distorted and oppressed by the authorities, and at the same time, in order to consolidate the status, the governor often exert various deceptions by which his or her greatness was enfolded in the face of the masses. As a result, the contemporary persons may entirely be deceived and make a false evaluation to the politician. Hitler, a sovereign of former German during the Two World War World War II, can well illustrate the above point. It is through the limitation of talking and the frenzied individual adoration that he cheated the Germen's appreciation at that times. But after a democratic German was born, people who have liberty and democracy commonly look on him as a hideous man. On the contrary, in a democratic country like the United States where the Constitution endow the people adequate liberty and democracy, what the politicians do are fully superintended, and therefore it is relatively true and can be recognized by the masses. Under this situation, their contemporaries can make an objective and just evaluation.
本段写得不错，对于German的例子援引和分析都不错，比较有说服力，不足的一点在于主题句会引起歧义“In politics, whether a state is democratic or not will have a great impact on the people's justification about the greatness of individual.”我明白lz的意思，但是不知道米国佬儿看这句话的理解是什么，因为很显然people会有自己的评价，但是是否敢完全的直接的表达出来就看国家制度是否民主。我尝试着改改，改得不怎么好。In politics, it is more appropriate to value the greatness of individual by later generations because contemporaries might conceal their real justification due to authoritarian rule. In a democratic society, individuals have full free to express their ideas and show their unique talents and characters.

In arts, when individual works have brought about a large influence on people and can be recognized, the greatness of them can be decided by their contemporaries; while due to the limitation of times, it is difficult for their peers to recognize some works that imply certain profound and precocious consciousness and therefore those who live in the future can conversely better censor the values of these works. 我标出来这两个地方，我觉得用法不地道 Perhaps some people argue that since the reason for of  the greatness of an artist is his or her works and the reason for the greatness of a works is that its values can be recognized by the people, the artist who can not be identified at his times is not outstanding. Indeed, the opuses of some artists like Beethoven are praised not only nowadays but also at their own times in that the melody of piano consonant people. Nevertheless, what these people fail to see is that many art prodigies have their own specific ideas that possibly have gone beyond their contemporaries'. For a common person at his times, Von Gogh's paints may be extremely obscure and incomprehensible, so people can not identify his works; while from today's perspectives, people find that values of his works that reflect a sort of quite profound meaning from humanity. Consequently, It is due to the development of ideas that the late persons can make an more objective evaluation for those who have ideas beyond times than their peers.
段内逻辑结构有些混乱，特别是第一层意思。主题句不鲜明
建议缕顺一下：主题句体现两层意思，然后贝多芬的例子论证一层，后面接着分析原因，也就是告诉读者，这个例子是如何支持观点的；凡高的例子论证第二层，同理。
The greatness of individuals cannot be appreciated by their contemporaries in large part is due to their outstanding talent and their transcendental intelligence which surpass the common cognition of general public and their peers. Besides, to test the validity of theories, works and ideas of the great individuals need a long time even centuries. It is fortunately for people to offer reasonable evaluation to individuals at their times, for example, XXX, however, history does not always repeat itself in this way.

In sports, since the achievement of athletes is what all of people can see, their contemporaries may entirely make an accurate justification about whether they are great.  For example, what Michael Jordan has achieved do already far outweigh almost any of his predecessors, which has been acknowledged commonly, so we clearly can acknowledge his greatness in basketball. For that matter, some people can question that if some later athletes surpass Jordan, then the evaluation to him is too rashly and should be made by those who live after him. In fact, these persons seem to fail to take into account the fact that the sprit of sports is to surpass the former, which is what a athlete consistently seeks after. If he or she can achieve the extent to which the former cannot accomplish, what the athlete can be regarded as greatness by his or her peers? Obviously, of course he or she may.
本段athletes的切入点很好，论证展开做得也不错
In conclusion, there are distinct situation in different fields. When people can definitely realize the achievement of contemporary figures in a democratic country, they fully may establish whether he or she is a great person; otherwise, the evaluation of the later persons will be more objective and accurate.

总体评价：Good
我大胆一点的说，本文上4分问题不大的。
虽然全文论点没有太大的特色，但是论证展开做得不错，全文思路比较清晰，例子的选择恰当合理，这是本文的一个亮点，特别是body3的论述，很好。
拼写没有问题，语法有个别小错误，另有几个词不是特别准确。
如果还想要改进：推敲下主题句和每段的TS
从后面的内容来看，本文的主题句不鲜明

Good work.

A多练一些，lz可以期待5分，前提是我假定这是45min之内的文章。

aunknownUID: 2173661

不好意思, 现在才回复楼主。这两天要回家，可能上不去网了！
感觉楼主的意见真是一针见血, 我的归纳能力一直很差,我一定好好修改一下.
另外，body1中,我写的政治领域,greatness 是在某些情况下可以被同代人评价, 另外一些情况不能,这是不是和body2的观点重了? 需要删掉吗?