Issue31 【CSMY作文互改小组】第五次作业

lonixUID: 2202232

Issue31"Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."
【翻译】花在研究上的资金基本上都是不错的投资，即使研究的结果是有争议的提示结合issue44一起准备
提纲：不赞同作者的观点
(1). 必须承认，不是所有的研究都可以创造利益，没有利益的研究不值得投资
(2). 但是，有些研究比如说克隆，原子能开发等虽然存在争议，但是其利大于弊，还是值得投资。
(3). 合理投资能促进科技朝着有利于人类社会进步的方向发展。

WORDS: 594(modified)          TIME: 00:52:00          DATE: 2007-1-17

It is wildly acknowledged that not all researches are beneficial and useful to our human beings, and even some of them exert negative effects on the development of society. So I conclude that before making our decision on whether the research is deserving investment, we should think thrice and carefully measure the advantages it would being to us and the disadvantages that would pop. If the research can make drastic contribution to our society, though wildly controversial, should be invested on.

Admittedly, not all researches can make profits and we should not invest our money on such researches that bring no profit to us. The investors who put their money on researches is basing on the prerequisite that the researches would innovate the existing technology and improve productivity or efficiency, which would indirectly bring them extra profits. Without profits, no individual or company wants to put their money and energy on these researches. For example, if there is no market for its products, Bill Gates would not invest abundant money to establish Microsoft research centers almost in every corner of world. It is seemingly that it is the profits not other catalyst that attract tremendous people to invest on the profitable researches that we would have difficulty to find out the exception who invest his money not for the profits.      

However, some researches, though some people oppose to develop them, are still needed to be invested on because the advantages they bring to our society far outweigh their disadvantages. Some critics rebuke the scientists who engage themselves in controversial researches such as clone and nuclear studies that it is immoral, and even inhuman for them to invent such kind of technology that would endanger the moral standard, even the whole society; while supporters insist that the decoding of DNA series should be a blessing to human’s health and the exploitation of nuclear energy would unavoidably make tremendous contribution to our society. But those technologies which once had negative effects are now applied in all aspects of our life and have obtained drastic progress. In this case, we should invest our money on these controversial but beneficial researches.        

Finally, reasonable investment on researches would urge the scientific technology progress in the direction that would be not only necessary but helpful for our society’s development. Proper investment needs the government’s involvement because the government knows how to regulate the researches and make them develop in the way to benefit the people, the community, and even the whole society. Take the same example mentioned above, clone should be under the government’s regulation that it can exert its effects to the greatest extent to create more new medicines and body tissues to alleviate the shortage that often encountered in hospitals. If the investment on researches is not regulated by the government or specific organization, it would be used by extremist or terrorists as an illegal purpose such as lethal virus to bring about panic or bomb to endanger the society. Therefore, in order to produce benefits and reduce the detrimental possibility that the researches would bring to our society, the investment should be reasonably assessed before it is being put on the research.   

In conclusion, before making decision on whether we should put our money on those controversial things, we should appeal to the comparison between the research's advantages that would contribute to the society and its disadvantages that would do detrimental impact on the society. To those controversial researches that tend to greatly improve the society's development, we should also invest our money on them without hesitation.

DIDOROSEUID: 2183292

占个位等会改

[ 本帖最后由 DIDOROSE 于 2007-1-19 19:10 编辑 ]

meichengyuUID: 2121098

Issue31 【CSMY作文互改小组】第五次作业

Issue31"Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial." 【翻译】花在研究上的资金基本上都是不错的投资，即使研究的结果是有争议的提示结合issue44一起准备提纲：不赞同作者的观点(1). 必须承认，不是所有的研究都可以创造利益，没有利益的研究不值得投资(2). 但是，有些研究比如说克隆，原子能开发等虽然存在争议，但是其利大于弊，还是值得投资。(3). 合理投资能促进科技朝着有利于人类社会进步的方向发展。WORDS: 594(modified)          TIME: 00:52:00          DATE: 2007-1-17It is wildly acknowledged that not all researches are beneficial and useful to our human beings, and even some of them exert negative effects on the development of society. So I conclude that（这里用So感觉不对，好象前面的一句话就可以让你得出下面的结论了！那后面的正文不就是白写了啊？我觉得要留有点余地，这样如何：For several reasons I’ll discussed bellow, I stress that）before making our decision on whether the research is deserving investment, we should think thrice(有中式英文的影子！考虑再三是这样写的啊？) andcarefully measure the advantages it would being to us and the disadvantages that would pop. If the research can make drastic contribution to our society, though wildly controversial, should be invested on.

Admittedly, not all researches can make profits and we should not invest our money on such researches that bring no profit to us. The investors who put their money on researches is basing on the prerequisite that the researches would innovate the existing technology and improve productivity or efficiency, which would indirectly bring them extra profits. Without profits, no individual or company wants to put their money and energy on these researches. For example, if there is no market for its products, Bill Gates would not invest abundant money to establish Microsoft research centers almost in every corner of world. It is seemingly that it is the profits not other catalyst that attract tremendous people to invest on the profitable researches that we would have difficulty to find out the exception who invest his money not for the profits.（个人觉得这段的理由很牵强。如果不能直接盈利的研究就不去投资，那么诸如：历史研究，人文社科研究，语言文字研究等等这些无法直接或者无法短期内产生利益的研究就没有价值吗？你说的Bill Gates的例子没有说服力，因为你用了“alomst in every corner of world”，如果按这样的意思，任何盈利的研究机构都要开到全世界各地去？！而且都能盈利？！ 的确并不是所有研究机构都可以赚钱的，有很多研究需要国家每年大量注资，但是它们又是不可缺乏的，社会进步需要整体的发展，而不光是年进出口量的增长或者外汇储备的增长…虽然Issue无绝对的是非对错之分，但是还望师兄斟酌一下这个例证！）      

However, some researches, though some people oppose to develop them, are still needed to be invested on because the advantages they bring to our society far outweigh their disadvantages. Some critics rebuke the scientists who engage themselves in controversial researches such as clone and nuclear studies that it is immoral, and even inhuman for them to invent such kind of technology that would endanger the moral standard, even the whole society; while supporters insist that the decoding of DNA series should be a blessing to human’s health（不知道师兄是什么专业的，我是学医的，感觉这里应该先把clone和研究DNA的关系说一下,因为它们并不是等同的！要不然人家会觉得你说解码DNA有背伦理！可以这么写：while supporters insist that the technology of clone could do great help to us decoding the DNA of human beings） and the exploitation of nuclear energy would unavoidably make tremendous contribution to our society（开发核能不得已地/无可奈何地给我们的社会带来巨大贡献？？看不懂~~）. But those technologies which once had negative effects are now applied in all aspects of our life and have obtained drastic progress. In this case, we should invest our money on these controversial but beneficial researches.   （例子很不错，可能表达上欠佳，所以没有达到预期的效果和力度）   

Finally, reasonable investment on researches would urge the scientific technology progress in the direction that would be not only necessary but（also,前面有only后面就要加also） helpful for our society’s development. Proper investment needs the government’s involvement because the government knows how to regulate the researches and make them develop in the way to benefit the people, the community, and even the whole society. Take the same example mentioned above, clone should be under the government’s regulation that it can exert its effects to the greatest extent to create more new medicines and body tissues to alleviate the shortage that often encountered in hospitals. If the investment on researches is not regulated by the government or specific organization, it would be used by extremist or terrorists as an illegal purpose such as lethal virus to bring about panic or bomb to endanger the society. (这里加个东京地铁沙林毒气事件会锦上添花！呵呵~这个例子我很喜欢，反正又是小日本的！)Therefore, in order to produce benefits and reduce the detrimental possibility that the researches would bring to our society, the investment should be reasonably assessed before it is being put on the research.   

In conclusion, before making decision on whether we should put our money on those controversial things, we should appeal to the comparison between the research's advantages that would contribute to the society and its disadvantages that would do detrimental impact on the society. To those controversial researches that tend to greatly improve the society's development, we should also invest our money on them without hesitation.

（文章第一个论述段提到的是关于盈利的研究投资，但是最后的总结一点也没看到啊！总结时要把所有你支持的和不支持的都点一下比较好吧？！

个人愚见，不到之处，师兄勿怪！）

[ 本帖最后由 meichengyu 于 2007-1-20 16:17 编辑 ]

lonixUID: 2202232

Issue31 【CSMY作文互改小组】第五次作业

Issue31"Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."

【翻译】花在研究上的资金基本上都是不错的投资，即使研究的结果是有争议的提示结合issue44一起准备提纲：不赞同作者的观点

(1). 必须承认，不是所有的研究都可以创造利益，没有利益的研究不值得投资

(2). 但是，有些研究比如说克隆，原子能开发等虽然存在争议，但是其利大于弊，还是值得投资。

(3). 合理投资能促进科技朝着有利于人类社会进步的方向发展。

WORDS: 594(modified)          TIME: 00:52:00          DATE: 2007-1-17

It is wildly acknowledged that not all researches are beneficial and useful to our human beings, and even some of them exert negative effects on the development of society. So I conclude that（这里用So感觉不对，好象前面的一句话就可以让你得出下面的结论了！那后面的正文不就是白写了啊？我觉得要留有点余地，这样如何：For several reasons I’ll discussed bellow, I stress that）before making our decision on whether the research is deserving investment, we should think thrice(有中式英文的影子！考虑再三是这样写的啊？[it is not Chinglish，e.g.Thinke thrice before acting ]) and carefully measure the advantages it would being to us and the disadvantages that would pop. If the research can make drastic contribution to our society, though wildly controversial, should be invested on.

If I change "so" into "therefore", what about the relation between context?

So I conclude that ---> Therefore  before making our decision on whether the research is deserving investment, we should think thrice and carefully measure the advantages it would bring to us and the disadvantages that would pop up.

Admittedly, not all researches can make profits and we should not invest our money on such researches that bring no profit to us. The investors who put their money on researches is basing on the prerequisite that the researches would innovate the existing technology and improve productivity or efficiency, which would indirectly bring them extra profits. Without profits, no individual or company wants to put their money and energy on these researches. For example, if there is no market for its products, Bill Gates would not invest abundant money to establish Microsoft research centers almost in every corner of world. It is seemingly that it is the profits not other catalyst that attract tremendous people to invest on the profitable researches that we would have difficulty to find out the exception who invest his money not for the profits.

（个人觉得这段的理由很牵强。如果不能直接盈利的研究就不去投资，那么诸如：历史研究，人文社科研究，语言文字研究等等这些无法直接或者无法短期内产生利益的研究就没有价值吗？你说的Bill Gates的例子没有说服力，因为你用了“alomst in every corner of world”，如果按这样的意思，任何盈利的研究机构都要开到全世界各地去？！而且都能盈利？！ 的确并不是所有研究机构都可以赚钱的，有很多研究需要国家每年大量注资，但是它们又是不可缺乏的，社会进步需要整体的发展，而不光是年进出口量的增长或者外汇储备的增长…虽然Issue无绝对的是非对错之分，但是还望师兄斟酌一下这个例证！）

Maybe you are right, but the original meaning we want to declare is that those which have no profit or contribute little to the human society would not deserve our investment, in other words, these research or studies such as history, literature, and linguistics actually pose positive impacts on our society that we need to study them and they in fact have their own values. On the second hand, I agree with your opinion that the exampe of Bill Gates is unpersuasive, but what I want to prove is that we should not put our money on researches that have no help to human society's development  in the opposite direction, or in a negative way. I even don't know a positive example if we say it in negative way, whether we can strenfthen the effect to prove the conclusion we propose? Your ideas refresh me a lot and I will consider all them into my modified edition.

      

However, some researches, though some people oppose to develop them, are still needed to be invested on because the advantages they bring to our society far outweigh their disadvantages. Some critics rebuke the scientists who engage themselves in controversial researches such as clone and nuclear studies that it is immoral, and even inhuman for them to invent such kind of technology that would endanger the moral standard, even the whole society; while supporters insist that the decoding of DNA series should be a blessing to human’s health（不知道师兄是什么专业的，我是学医的，感觉这里应该先把clone和研究DNA的关系说一下,因为它们并不是等同的！要不然人家会觉得你说解码DNA有背伦理！可以这么写：while supporters insist that the technology of clone could do great help to us decoding the DNA of human beings）[Yes, I confuse the concepts about clone and decoding DNA here] and the exploitation of nuclear energy would unavoidably make tremendous contribution to our society（开发核能不得已地/无可奈何地给我们的社会带来巨大贡献？？看不懂~~[I misunderstand the word "unavoidably" with "inevitably"]）. But those technologies which once had negative effects are now applied in all aspects of our life and have obtained drastic progress. In this case, we should invest our money on these controversial but beneficial researches.   （例子很不错，可能表达上欠佳，所以没有达到预期的效果和力度）[sorry for my lacking capacity of expression and idea organization]   

Finally, reasonable investment on researches would urge the scientific technology progress in the direction that would be not only necessary but（also,前面有only后面就要加also [It is not necessary, e.g. "Not Only Ridiculous, but Dangerous"]） helpful for our society’s development. Proper investment needs the government’s involvement because the government knows how to regulate the researches and make them develop in the way to benefit the people, the community, and even the whole society. Take the same example mentioned above, clone should be under the government’s regulation that it can exert its effects to the greatest extent to create more new medicines and body tissues to alleviate the shortage that often encountered in hospitals. If the investment on researches is not regulated by the government or specific organization, it would be used by extremist or terrorists as an illegal purpose such as lethal virus to bring about panic or bomb to endanger the society. (这里加个东京地铁沙林毒气事件会锦上添花！呵呵~这个例子我很喜欢，反正又是小日本的！[I like too, emmm, next time I have the chance, I will use it])Therefore, in order to produce benefits and reduce the detrimental possibility that the researches would bring to our society, the investment should be reasonably assessed before it is being put on the research.   

In conclusion, before making decision on whether we should put our money on those controversial things, we should appeal to the comparison between the research's advantages that would contribute to the society and its disadvantages that would do detrimental impact on the society. To those controversial researches that tend to greatly improve the society's development, we should also invest our money on them without hesitation.

（文章第一个论述段提到的是关于盈利的研究投资，但是最后的总结一点也没看到啊！总结时要把所有你支持的和不支持的都点一下比较好吧？！

个人愚见，不到之处，师兄勿怪！）
[Your suggestion is so pertinent that do great help to my writting, thank you for your time and carefulness]

[ 本帖最后由 lonix 于 2007-1-20 17:35 编辑 ]

DIDOROSEUID: 2183292

汗已经有人改了