ISSUE41 西西的文章，有兴趣的来拍拍啦~

西西UID: 196939

ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."

The author asserts that since nonmainstream areas of inquiry can satisfy certain human needs that are not fulfilled by mainstream science, and that they are therefore pivotal to the society. I agree that nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal can interpret the unknown world in a  special way as well as  relieve our hopelessness and helplessness when we confront misfortune. However, those areas conflict their actors, and even disturb the society if people undue emphasize and rely on them.

To begin with, the nonmainstream areas can satisfy human curiosity by interpreting the unbeknown world in a direct way. There are always novel things and unknown phenomena in the universe while the comprehension and ability of human beings are trivial in the nature. We are on the way to the truth but can never achieve it. As a consequence, when we meet difficulties and phenomena that cannot be explained by the known experiences, we turn to the astrology and fortune-telling for help. Astrology can tell us where we were coming and what are we in an arcane way. The nonmainstream areas create ghosts and gods who understand everything of the world and human can therefore fulfill their curiosity at anytime they are disturbed by certain problems.

Secondly, the nonmainstream areas can not only eliminate our uncertainty when we make decisions and choices, but relieve our spirit when we are in calamity. On the one hand/for one thing, there are, in one’s life, various choices, which he or she must evaluate the benefits and the harms of the decisions before the results manifest themselves. On the other hand/for the other, under the overwhelming power of the nature, human beings suffer a lot from disasters such as diseases, flood and famine. Consider how we recover from the pain of the death of our beloved persons is not through the illustration that this is the normal course of our life, but through the explanation that these persons have been stars in the sky and are therefore still alive with us somewhere else. In such a way, these nonmainstream fields benefit us a lot by consoling our souls and appeasing our fears.

However, over-dependence on these areas mentioned above can often result in potential harms for their participants. For one thing, the fortune-telling can sometimes coincide the future by accident. As a result people might rely on the fortune-telling so much that they are not willing to endeavor and struggle for better things, which will ruin their lives. For another, it may be utilized by wicked people, since we all know that the paranormal pursuits are not rooted in reason. The participants might be cheated to believe that those cheats owe a paranormal ability, and therefore they might lose their souls as well as the money. Moreover, as for the society, such traits have often led to holy wars. For instance, the frequent religious conflicts in Arab areas brought thousands of refugees and engender a turbulence society. As a consequence, people and the whole society might suffer a lot from extremely emphasizing on those areas.

In sum, the nonmainstream areas can explain the unknown phenomena and therefore serve to satisfy certain human needs. Also, those areas console our distress in front of adversity which might not be resolved by the mainstream inquiry. However, so-called insight gained from these pursuits can easily serve as a convenient excuse for dangerous, fraudulent and irrational actions of the participants as well as the society.

[ 本帖最后由 西西 于 2007-1-18 09:43 编辑 ]

danny_liuUID: 2279388

这个题目好难哟，对nonmainstream areas 不了解，我看了一下，写得还行！
心中日月，留言：）

siyuandingUID: 2154137

抱歉，我来晚了！

The author asserts that since nonmainstream areas of inquiry can satisfy certain human needs that are not fulfilled by mainstream science, and that[去and that，前面是从句把] they are therefore pivotal to the society. I agree that nonmainstream areas such as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal can interpret the unknown world in a special way as well as relieve our hopelessness and helplessness when we confront misfortune. However, those areas conflict[不及物，加with] their actors[participants], and even disturb the society if people [加place]undue emphasize and rely on them.

To begin with, the nonmainstream areas can satisfy human curiosity by interpreting the unbeknown[unknown] world in a direct way. There are always novel things and unknown phenomena in the universe while the comprehension and ability of human beings are trivial in the nature. We are on the way to the truth but can never achieve it. As a consequence, when we meet difficulties and phenomena that cannot be explained by the known[available] experiences, we turn to the astrology and fortune-telling for help. Astrology can tell us where we were coming[are come] and what are we[we are] in an arcane way[后半句什么意思呀].[为什么单单挑astrology讲] The nonmainstream areas create ghosts and gods who understand everything of the world and human can therefore fulfill[能fulfill curiosity吗？satisfy把] their curiosity at[去at] anytime they are disturbed[puzzled或perplexed] by certain problems.
[后面三句展开不好，特别是句与句之间的关系，好像在讲一个问题，层次要处理好，而且还可以在深入一点]

Secondly, the nonmainstream areas can not only eliminate our uncertainty when we make decisions and choices, but relieve our spirit[spitrit不能relieve把] when we are in calamity. On the one hand/for one thing, there are, in one’s life, various choices, which he or she must evaluate the benefits and the harms of the decisions before the results manifest themselves. On the other hand/for the other, under the overwhelming power of the nature, human beings suffer a lot from disasters such as diseases, flood and famine. Consider[] how we recover from the pain of the death of our beloved persons is not through[] the illustration that this is the normal course of our life, but through the explanation that these persons have been stars in the sky and are therefore still alive with us somewhere else. [这句话的语法你再仔细瞧瞧，好像漏洞百出]In such a way, these nonmainstream fields benefit us a lot by consoling our souls and appeasing our fears.
[这段展开还是不错的，值得提倡，前半段讲遇到的问题，后半段将应对办法，赞一下]

However, over-dependence on these areas mentioned above can often result in potential harms for their participants. For one thing, the fortune-telling can sometimes coincide[加with，但不知可以这么说与现实巧合吗？] the future by accident. As a result people might rely on the fortune-telling so much that they are not willing to endeavor and struggle for better things, which will ruin their lives. For another, it may be utilized by wicked people, since we all know that the paranormal pursuits are not rooted in reason. The participants might be cheated to believe that those cheats owe a paranormal ability[此句看不懂], and therefore they might lose their souls as well as the money. Moreover, as for the society, such traits have often led to holy wars. For instance, the frequent religious conflicts in Arab areas brought thousands of refugees and engender a turbulence society. As a consequence, people and the whole society might suffer a lot from extremely[extreme] emphasizing on those areas.
[仿照北美范文来写的吧，很好，没有留太多痕迹。此段展开也很好，中间罗列坏处，有种递进的层次关系，很好]

In sum, the nonmainstream areas can explain the unknown phenomena and therefore serve to satisfy certain human needs. Also, those areas console our distress in front of adversity which might not be resolved by the mainstream inquiry. However, so-called insight gained from these pursuits can easily serve as a convenient[有合理之意吗] excuse for dangerous, fraudulent and irrational actions of the participants as well as the society.
[结尾段不多说了，第一要义在于速战速决，最好有摸版]

[首先这篇文章用了很多难词亚，让人羡慕，不知道这功夫是怎么习得的？
整篇文章还是写得不错的，虽然无啥新意，但文章给人以稳打稳抓之势
文章结构很好，没的说，有平衡观点的意识
段落内的展开也都很不错，只是第一个主题段要稍作加工
语言没办法，不是母语嘛！主要帮你看了前两段。不过我还是建议你要反复修改，碰到一个解决一个。总体说语法错误没太多，关键问题是词的搭配，建议你可以用一下搭配词典，这是我写作必备的工具书
限时写能写成这样，相当不错了，你这样的水平可以争取拿5分，加油！]

[ 本帖最后由 siyuanding 于 2007-1-24 03:04 编辑 ]