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[i习作temp] issue41 [米国有米]bailamo27第九次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-1-19 20:57:40 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
(2006-12-25)
Issue41. "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
研究界的一些非主流领域,比如星象学、占卜术和意念及超自然探索,在社会中起到了很重要的作用,因为它们满足了人们无法从主流科学获得的需求。

Syllabus:
1.        非主流领域,如星象学、占卜术等,某种意义上反映人类认知的发展过程。早在科学诞生前,在解释一些自然现象等方面这些就起重要作用。随着科学发展,社会进步,人类认知的进步,有些被认为是唯心的,是虚假的。但在当今科学并不能完全解释所有事情,这些非主流的东西仍然有存在的价值。
2.        人的需求大致有2类:一,心理需求。人们寄托----占星、算命、宗教之类;心灵空虚时也需要这些以作消遣、娱乐,分散注意力;这些是科学暂时不能解决的;二,实际需求。物质的需要。科技支持。同时,科技也可以满足一部分心理需求。如,交流工具的发展,手机、网络等,加强人际沟通,消除寂寞等。
3.        但对非主流的不能过分依赖。人们应该清醒、理智的对待。一些伪科学的东西危害人们利益的时候应于拒绝。总之,非主流的只能是当今科学尚未发达的一些领域的补充,是暂时的。科学才是真正能引导人们探索世界、宇宙秘密的唯一出路。
2007-1-19
Full text: (time: 19:42—20:50, 477words)
Some nonmainstream fields, such as, astrology, future-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits indeed play a important roles in people’s life, for they reflect the long process of developing of human’s cognition to some extent. Far before the birth of science, these nonmainstream can explain some natural phenomenon, like the rise and down of sun, diseases and die of human being and so forth. Although, with the development of society and science, our cognition is processing as well, many of these nonmainstream areas are improved false or idealistic. Anyway, since science of today cannot explain all the phenomenon and everything existing now, these nonmainstream areas still have some value.

The needs of human can abstractly be classified into two main parts, one is psychologic needs, which depend on some spiritual or intangible force to fulfill people’s lonely hearts, or some perfect wishes, dreams that somehow cannot be real. Under such circumstances, astrology, future-telling, psychic, paranormal pursuits and even religions will get their place and work well. When people feel over-stressed, confused and even despair, these nonmainstream areas can distract people’s attention and entertain them in some way. Take astrology for example, many girls, surely, not limited in girls, like reading stories or inquires of astrology. Not because they can really know their fortune or what will happen tomorrow, but just because it’s fun to read them. Sometime, people’s have to rely on kinds of spiritual sustainance. And we have to concede that these kind of fun is not science can handle.

The second need of human being is practical needs---material needs. Respecting from this kinds of needs, we have to turn for help to science. In some way, technology of science can also release some stress, fulfill people mind from totally another aspect. For instance, as the fast development of communicational tools, such as, mobile phone, internet, blueteeth technology and so on, people can easily connect to someone they want, consequently, feelings like lonely can be erased to some extent.

However, people cannot depend on these nonmainstream areas too much. Back to the earth, we are living a real life, we need science which is the only one thing that can explain secrets and puzzles of world. Additionally, it is science that can fundamentally release people’s heart and mind, lead people to the recognize the world and ourselves. Some false nonmainstream areas, which will harm people, have to be eliminated from our life. In sum, some nonmainstream fields are existing to entertain people, help people to be relax. They can be a substitute to science of nowadays temporarily, as science cannot explain all the things on earth. However, they cannot replace the extremely important roles that science is playing now. As the development of science and technology, our cognition is changing as well, and we know science is the only thing that can lead us to real life.
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发表于 2007-1-20 12:26:47 |只看该作者
Some nonmainstream fields, such as, astrology, future-telling, psychic and paranormal pursuits indeed play a[an] important roles in people’s life, for they reflect the long process of developing of human’s cognition to some extent. Far before the birth[这个词建议换一个,科学没有确切的起始那天] of science, these nonmainstream can explain some natural phenomenon, like the rise and down of sun, diseases and die[death] of human being and so forth. Although, with the development of society and science, our cognition is processing[是发展的意思嘛?] as well, many of these nonmainstream areas are improved false or idealistic. Anyway, since science of today cannot explain all the phenomenon and everything existing now, these nonmainstream areas still have some value.

The needs of human can abstractly be classified into two main parts,[;] one is psychologic needs, which depend on some spiritual or intangible force to fulfill people’s lonely hearts, or some perfect wishes, dreams that somehow cannot be real[你是想表达不可实现吗?换成come true?]. Under such circumstances, astrology, future-telling, psychic, paranormal pursuits and even religions will get their place and work well. When people feel over-stressed, confused and even despair[despairing], these nonmainstream areas can distract people’s attention and entertain them in some way. Take astrology for example, many girls, surely, not limited in girls, like reading stories or inquires of astrology. Not because they can really know their fortune or what will happen tomorrow, but just because it’s fun to read them. Sometime, people’s have to rely on kinds of spiritual sustainance. And we have to concede that these[this] kind of fun is not science can handle.
这段意思还是很明确的,但是我觉得女孩看星座只是为了好玩说的太绝对了,据我所知国外的人确实把星座看的很重要。建议你把just去掉或者改成maybe。

The second need of human being is practical needs---material needs. Respecting from this kinds[kind] of needs, we have to turn for help to science[turn to seek help from science]. In some way, technology of science can also release some stress, fulfill people mind from totally another aspect. For instance, as the fast[rapid] development of communicational tools, such as, mobile phone, internet, blueteeth technology and so on, people can easily connect to someone they want, consequently, feelings like lonely[loneliness] can be erased to some extent. 个人觉得这个例子不是很有说服力,孤独不仅仅是和别人打了电话就能解决的。毕竟孤独不是孤单。

However, people cannot depend on these nonmainstream areas too much. Back to the earth, we are living a real life, we need science which is the only one thing that can explain secrets and puzzles of world. Additionally, it is science that can fundamentally release people’s heart and mind, lead people to [the去掉] recognize the world and ourselves. Some false nonmainstream areas, which will harm people, have to be eliminated from our life. [建议在此分段了,从行文看,下面的部分是你的总结段]In sum, some nonmainstream fields are existing to entertain people, help people to [be去掉] relax. They can be a substitute to science of nowadays temporarily, as science cannot explain all the things on earth. However, they cannot replace the extremely important roles that science is playing now.[这句很闪光] As[with] the development of science and technology, our cognition is changing as well, and we know science is the only thing that can lead us to real life.

文章的结构很清楚,意思表达得也很明确。看出来,因为限时,你写的比较匆忙。很完整的提纲中的内容并没有得到很好的展开。最后一段句子有点反复。还有你的用词需要多多斟酌一下,大概是因为着急,笔误不少,动词前面加the的情况我相信肯定是笔误,但是写的时候多注意吧。还有就是名词和形容词,单复数时有含混。你说你还有20天就考试了,大家都一样,考试的日期渐渐进了,再最后加把劲吧!相信自己会越来越好!加油!

[ 本帖最后由 bluecathy 于 2007-1-20 12:30 编辑 ]

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RE: issue41 [米国有米]bailamo27第九次作业 [修改]

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issue41 [米国有米]bailamo27第九次作业
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