argument143 【米国有米第11次作业】这篇没手感

joochangUID: 2265219

TOPIC: ARGUMENT143 WORDS: 345         DATE: 2007-1-28
The argument present a relatively sound instance for arguing that the recent article of the national newspaper about corporate downsizing in the United States is misleading. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer cites a recent report on the United states economy. However, a careful scrutiny of this argument would reveal that it suffers form several fallaies and consequently, is unconvincing.

First of all, the arger unfarly draw his conclusion which completely base on the doubtful report. As we konw, with the increase of population, there are more and more people join to the compete the job opportunities. Although since 1992 more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, no evidence is provided to show that unemployed people have the changes to get newly job.

In addition, the arguer asserts that many of unempolyed people found new employment. Yet, the expression is too vague to persuade us. We are more caring about what's the proportion of unemployed people find their jobs renewedly, and how long they take to do so. It's highly possible that a employed person spend several years in finding a new job. Without providing more imformation, the arguer cannot bolster his concluson.

Finally, It is assumed without justification that background employed people cound gain the newly created full-time  jobs which pay above-average wages. Perhaps they are limited by age, perhaps are traped by their educational badckground, or perhaps they are lack of new technology to cater for new time. Without ruling out these and other possible factors, the arguer cannot confidently declaim to upset the conclusion the article.

In conclusion, this argument has several ovbious flaws which render it logically unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, how many unemployed men get the newly created jobs. To persuade me that the article by the national paper is misleading, the arguer ought to show the survey on what's the proportion of the unemployed men have new jobs soon. Furthermore, to better assess the arguer's ciaim more information about whether the unemployed men are able to gain the full-time  jobs should be provided.

bluecathyUID: 2231215

The argument present [presents] a relatively sound instance for arguing that the recent article of the national newspaper about corporate downsizing in the United States is misleading. To substantiate this conclusion, the arguer cites a recent report on the United states economy. However, a careful scrutiny of this argument would reveal that it suffers form several fallaies[fallacies] and consequently, is unconvincing.

First of all, the arger unfarly draw[arguer unfairly draws] his conclusion which completely base on the doubtful report. As we konw[know], with the increase of population, there are more and more people [who] join to the compete the job opportunities. Although since 1992 more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, no evidence is provided to show that unemployed people have the changes to get newly job.

In addition, the arguer asserts that many of unemployed[unemployed] people found new employment. Yet, the expression is too vague to persuade us. We are more caring about what's[what] the proportion of unemployed people find their jobs renewedly [is][我觉得你很多语法的小细节都不怎么在意啊], and how long they take to do so. It's highly possible that a[an] employed person spend[spends] several years [in去掉] finding a new job. Without providing more imformation[information], the arguer cannot bolster his conclusion[conclusion].
Finally, It is assumed without justification that background employed people cound[cound] gain the newly created full-time jobs which pay above-average wages. Perhaps they are limited by age, perhaps are traped[？] by their educational badckground[background], or perhaps they are lack of new technology to cater for new time. Without ruling out these and other possible factors, the arguer cannot confidently declaim to upset the conclusion [in] the article.

In conclusion, this argument has several obvious[obvious] flaws which render it logically unpersuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, how many unemployed men get the newly created jobs[这句话没写完吧？]. To persuade me that the article by the national paper is misleading, the arguer ought to show the survey on what's[还是上面那个问题] the proportion of the unemployed men have new jobs soon. Furthermore, to better assess the arguer's ciaim[claim], more information about whether the unemployed men are able to gain the full-time jobs should be provided.

行文中小错误太多了，下次自己还是先用word检查一下再发上来吧。虽然你错误找的很全，但是组织的一般。Argument相对来说上手是快点，但是也得重视，毕竟中国学生还是要靠这个拿分的。加油！