argument46 【米国有米】寒假第三天1.29

holdingUID: 2285054

TOPIC: ARGUMENT46 - Although black bears are common in the eastern Canadian province of Labrador, grizzly bears-often similar in color, but much larger-were believed to exist only in the western provinces. Despite a nineteenth-century explorer's account of having startled and narrowly escaped from a grizzly bear deep in the woods in Labrador, modern scientists find no physical evidence that grizzly bears have ever lived in Labrador. But recent research into the language and legends of the Innu, a people who have lived in Labrador for thousands of years, reveals that their language has words for two different kinds of bears, and their ancient legends attribute different characteristics to the two kinds of bears. Therefore, there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador, and the explorer's account probably accurately identified the bear.
WORDS: 401          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-1-29

In the argument, the arguer claims that there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador, and the explorer's account probably accurately identified the bear. To prove this, the author cites the experience of a nineteenth-century explorer. Moreover, the arguer drew the conclusion of a recent research into the language to support his conclusion. It seems that the argument is persuasive, but after my careful research on it, I find the argument is not sounded because of many logical flaws.

Firstly, the arguer makes a mistake of lead someone's experience to a group cursory. Regardless the authenticity of the explorer's experience, the fact that grizzly bear meet by the nineteenth-century can not be proved to be one of the group grizzly bears in Labrador. It is possible that this grizzly bear is just a bear who lost his way on his travel of seeking food, and he happened to reach the woods in Labrador. So the experience of the explorer who have startled and narrowly escaped from a grizzly bear deep in the woods in Labrador can not be the evidence which can prove there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador.

What's more, the arguer cited a recent research into the language and legends of the lnnu to prove his conclusion. The information giving by the author is quite vague, which is very important to the authority of the research. We do not know who did the research, whether the way of research is scientific, how much data draw from the research and how they can draw the conclusion. Unless these questions are answered, we can not believe on the result of the research. Hence, every conclusion drawn from the research can not be convincing, including the one in this argument.

Besides, even regardless of the persuasion of the research, the arguer still fails to build a casual relationship between language and the exaction of grizzly bears. Local residents' language has words for two different kinds of bears can not be a result of the existence of the grizzly bears. It is possible that the local people learned that there was other kind of bear living in some other place which was far from them by the way of traveling. Some people who meet grizzly bears in other place can tell this thing to the local residents when they came to Labrador. By this way, the difference of the two kinds of bears can form in their local language, but not because of the existence of grizzly bear.

To sum up, the arguer fail to draw the conclusion that there were grizzly bears in Labrador. If he wants to make his conclusion more convincing, he should draw more evidence to prove the experience of the explorer and the research of the local language and legends.

绚烂夏花UID: 2245298

argument46 【米国有米】寒假第三天1.29




TOPIC: ARGUMENT46 - Although black bears are common in the eastern Canadian province of Labrador, grizzly bears-often similar in color, but much larger-were believed to exist only in the western provinces. Despite a nineteenth-century explorer's account of having startled and narrowly escaped from a grizzly bear deep in the woods in Labrador, modern scientists find no physical evidence that grizzly bears have ever lived in Labrador. But recent research into the language and legends of the Innu, a people who have lived in Labrador for thousands of years, reveals that their language has words for two different kinds of bears, and their ancient legends attribute different characteristics to the two kinds of bears. Therefore, there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador, and the explorer's account probably accurately identified the bear.
WORDS: 401          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-1-29

In the argument, the arguer claims that there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador, and the explorer's account probably accurately identified the bear. To prove this, the author cites the experience of a nineteenth-century explorer. Moreover, the arguer drew the conclusion of a recent research into the language to support his conclusion. It seems that the argument is persuasive, but after my careful research[examination/thought] on it, I find the argument is not sounded[sound] because of many logical flaws.

Firstly, the arguer makes a mistake of lead someone's experience to a group cursory. Regardless [of]the authenticity of the explorer's experience, the fact that grizzly bear meet by the nineteenth-century can not be proved to be one of the group grizzly bears in Labrador. It is possible that this grizzly bear is just a bear who lost his way on his travel of seeking food, and he happened to reach the woods in Labrador.[这个说法有点……]explorer who have startled and narrowly escaped from a grizzly bear deep in the woods in Labrador can not be the evidence which can prove there probably were grizzly bears in Labrador.

What's more, the arguer cited a recent research into the language and legends of the lnnu to prove his conclusion. The information giving[given] by the author is quite vague, which is very important to the authority of the research. We do not know who did the research, whether the way of research is scientific, how much data draw from the research and how they can draw the conclusion. Unless these questions are answered, we can not believe on[in] the result of the research. Hence, every conclusion drawn from the research can not be convincing, including the one in this argument.

Besides, even regardless of the persuasion of the research, the arguer still fails to build a casual relationship between language and the exaction[existence]of grizzly bears. Local residents' language has words for two different kinds of bears can not be a result of the existence of the grizzly bears[两个动词]. It is possible that the local people learned that there was other kind of bear living in some other place which was far from them by the way of traveling. Some people who meet grizzly bears in other place can tell this thing to the local residents when they came to Labrador. By this way, the difference of the two kinds of bears can form in their local language, but not because of the existence of grizzly bear.这段讲得很好

To sum up, the arguer fail to draw the conclusion that there were grizzly bears in Labrador. If he wants to make his conclusion more convincing, he should draw more evidence to prove the experience of the explorer and the research of the local language and legends.

思路很清晰，不过要稍微注意用词还有介词搭配

[ 本帖最后由 绚烂夏花 于 2007-1-30 20:37 编辑 ]