argue147 同主题第一次

franskyUID：2298470

Argue147:
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine."Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
1.       调查对象年龄不明确，未必是客户群；
2.       玩家未必肯更新电脑
3.       广告公司有用吗？
4.       失败的原因不明。可能是因为产业萧条所致

The author’s assertion that Whirlwind will enjoy a soar in its sales of video games seems sound. To substantiate this claim, the author cites a survey that shows customer’s interest in games with vivid pictures, which has Whirlwind just introduced. Another stimulus in sales, according to the author, is the extensive advertising campaign directed to its customer. But after close examination, this statement is unconvincing for several critical fallacies.

The base of the assertion—the survey is groundless. The survey doesn’t provide evidence that it is players 10 to 25 years old, which is Whirlwind’s major customer, who prefer games that provide lifelike pictures. The survey might be based on children under ten or adults over 25. It even doesn’t present whether the result of survey comes from a large number of people in the area Whirlwind video games are sold, which is a critical point if the result is believable.

In addition, the fact that video games that provide lifelike graphics require most up-to-date computers might act as an obstacle to the sales of such kind of games. Whether players can afford to update their computer remains unknown because most video game players between 10 and 25 years old are students who don’t earn money. Even if players can afford to update their computer, are they willing to do so merely in order to play such games? No proof is found to clear my doubt.

Given that players are willing to buy games that can provide vivid graphics, whether Whirlwind can increase its sales dramatically remains a problem. It is possible that there are already many video games of this kind available in the market, several of which are more attracting than those of Whirlwind. The product of Whirlwind won’t necessarily become hot among players. Equally possible is that games of Whirlwind set higher standards of computer than games of its competitors such that people tends not to be so interested in Whirlwind’s games. The effect of the advertising campaign is also uncertain.

The cause of sales decline of Whirlwind in the past two years is of great importance. If it is the sharply decreasing number of video game players that leads to the sales drop, even impressing video games can’t pull Whirlwind out of the swamp of sustained decline.

The author’s claim that Whirlwind are likely to enjoy a sharp increase of its sales of video games is specious. Little sound evidence is available to support the assertion. To make it more reasonable, the author should provide more evidence that people between 10 and 25 are likely to buy games that provide lifelike pictures. Furthermore, the author needs to confirm that their games are competitive and thus can attract more players than their opponents. Finally, before making the assertion, the author should find out the reason why Whirlwind’s sales declined in the past two years.

uniqueguyUID：2183043

The author’s assertion that Whirlwind will enjoy a soar in its sales of video games seems sound. To substantiate this claim, the author cites a survey that shows customer’s interest in games with vivid pictures, which has Whirlwind just introduced customers are interested in the games with vivid pictures produced by Whirlwind. Another stimulus in sales, according to the author, is the extensive advertising campaign directed to its customer. But after close examination, this statement is unconvincing for several critical fallacies.

The base of the assertion—the survey is groundless. The survey doesn’t provide evidence that it is players 10 to 25 years old, which is who are Whirlwind’s major customer customers, who prefer games that provide lifelike pictures. The survey might be based on children under ten or adults over 25. It even doesn’t present whether the result of survey comes from a large number of people in the area Whirlwind video games are sold, which is a critical point if the result is believable.

In addition, the fact that video games that provide lifelike graphics require most up-to-date computers might act as an obstacle to the sales of such kind of games. Whether players can afford to update their computer computers remains unknown because most video game players between 10 and 25 years old are students who don’t earn money. Even if players can afford to update their computer computers, are they willing to do so merely in order to play such games? No proof is found to clear my doubt.

Given that players are willing to buy games that can provide vivid graphics, whether Whirlwind can increase its sales dramatically remains a problem  用question好. It is possible that there are already many video games of this kind available in the market, several of which are more attracting than those of Whirlwind Whirlwind’s. The product of Whirlwind won’t necessarily become hot hot似乎不妥 among players. Equally possible is that games of Whirlwind Whirlwind’s game set higher standards of computer than games of its competitors its competitors’ games such that such that这里有问题 people tends not to be so interested in Whirlwind’s games. The effect of the advertising campaign is also uncertain.

The cause of sales decline of Whirlwind in the past two years is of great importance. 这句看不懂 If it is the sharply decreasing number of video game players that leads to the sales drop, even impressing video games can’t pull Whirlwind out of the swamp of sustained decline.

The author’s claim that Whirlwind are is likely to enjoy a sharp increase of in its sales of video games is specious. Little sound evidence is available to support the assertion. To make it more reasonable, the author should provide more evidence evidences that people between 10 and 25 are likely to buy games that provide lifelike pictures. Furthermore, the author needs to confirm that their games are competitive and thus can attract more players than their opponents 这句有歧异. Finally, before making the assertion, the author should find out the reason why Whirlwind’s sales declined in the past two years.

文章对主要的逻辑错误进行了比较中肯的分析，采用的句式也较丰富，但有些小词的表达上还有点问题，文章总的来说是写得不错的：）
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[ 本帖最后由 uniqueguy 于 2007-2-7 21:18 编辑 ]

franskyUID：2298470

非常感谢uniqueguy 的认真点评