Issue51 【LOVEAW小组】第1次作业 by arbil

arbilUID: 2270268

自己感觉：(首先提纲就费了很多时间，大体方向好定，但具体怎么展开就没辙。参考网上的介绍，对主体、目标、过程三个方面进行分析。（对effective的意义先有个判断）。其次语言功底大大的不够，感觉在提纲的基础上很难自由发挥出去，凑字数都挺难，回到了高中阶段。。。
还有思路总感觉断断续续，逻辑不是很流畅，可能不熟练的原因吧。总结那一段感觉不知说什么好了，表达不出来。在公司磨出来的，后来抄上来时稍微又通顺了一下，还请多多指点：）
提纲：
参照网上的一些写法：

1、  对于感兴趣的东西，学习效果比较好。扩展－兴趣在学习中的重要性。（想用用孔子72弟子的例子。后来发现孔子是“因材施教”，不是因兴趣施教。。。）
2、  但是，完全按兴趣学习并不现实、有效。 第一，兴趣是经常变化的，并不持久。第二，青少年的兴趣有一定的盲目性，不一定适合他们自身，需要合理的指导。（本来前段时间看了个电影，讲一美国老师如何把一个差班带成纽约地区最好的班级。想不起来名字了，也不一定有说服力，作罢）第三，对每个人都按其兴趣爱好安排学习成本过高，不现实。
3、  教育还需要交给我们很多和兴趣关系不大的但是必须的东西。第一，在社会上需要掌握的一些基本技能。第二，与人交往的能力、团队精神、道德观念等。所以一定程度的统一、强制性的教育是有必要的。
4、   总结，按个人的兴趣进行教育很有必要，但其他方面的教育同样占有重要地位。

According to this statement, the speaker asserts that only the educations designed for individual needs and intension of each student are effective. I agree that it may be helpful for students’ develop on personalities. However, the educations merely geared to the needs of individual interests are far from effective.
Admittedly, in some circumstances, an individual-centered education will greatly elicit one’s potentiality in realms he/she is interested in. As we know, everyone has his/her own special favorite subjects. Most students will reveal a strong willing to learn about those interesting subjects. For the purpose of inspire the students’ desire to learn, it is essential for educators to be aware of personal interests of students and provide different curriculums according with them.
Nevertheless, an education system merely designed for individual needs and interests is neither actually effective nor realizable. First of all, the interests of teenagers are always extensive and can’t stop altering in the adolescence. Tract exactly what their interests are is impossible. And after the relevant courses are eventually provided, teachers may find these passionate followers have already run away! Secondly, adolescents are aimless on some level with some meaningless interests. For example, many people dream to become a pop star when they grow up. But sooner or later, only few of them will recognize that they are talented in music , and even less can ultimately make a live on it. If educators could give proper suggestions to students about the interests which can best prepare them for the future life, they will not waste time on unsuitable struggling. Moreover, individual-centered education will obviously cost too many teaching resources and time for our society to bear. If we can just afford to provide it to some special selected students, it’s unfair for the others, while this education system shouldn’t be identified an effective one to the public.
Further more, education system should satisfy not only individual needs, but also desire of the society. In addition to personal skills, people need to know some primary knowledge in many different realms to meet the demand of modern society. Take computer science for example, now every doctor in a modern hospital should learn some computer knowledge to prescribe, or give patients some consultation through internet. Even if one doctor doesn’t like computer at all, it is still a responsibility for education to bring him/her some knowledge in this field. Besides, communication skills, team work spirits, and even moral characters, they all have no relationship with individual interests. But aiming to be a man accommodated and useful to the society, people should also expect to learn these from some uniform, compelling educations.
In sum, it is essential to emphasis education on individual needs and interests, since one of the most important functions of education is to develop the individual personality of one’s life. Yet we should be cognizant that there are too many other factors, such as proper introductions, basic knowledge, team learning and moral discipline should also play crucial roles in our education systems.

iq28UID: 2152875

1、  对于感兴趣的东西，学习效果比较好。扩展－兴趣在学习中的重要性。（想用用孔子72弟子的例子。后来发现孔子是“因材施教”，不是因兴趣施教。。。）(考试的时候如果想到这种例子直接用!我们写issue不必用argu的逻辑强度. 因材施教其中材在很大程度上就决定了兴趣会在哪个方面,而且老外谁知道孔夫子就必须是因材施教了?自己make up一下也好嘛嘿嘿.考试的时候能想到一个例子很不容易的~珍惜~)
2、  但是，完全按兴趣学习并不现实、有效。 第一，兴趣是经常变化的，并不持久。(这个观念真的好不错,我想不到~)第二，青少年的兴趣有一定的盲目性，不一定适合他们自身，需要合理的指导。（本来前段时间看了个电影，讲一美国老师如何把一个差班带成纽约地区最好的班级。想不起来名字了，也不一定有说服力，作罢）第三，对每个人都按其兴趣爱好安排学习成本过高，不现实。
3、  教育还需要交给我们很多和兴趣关系不大的但是必须的东西。第一，在社会上需要掌握的一些基本技能。第二，与人交往的能力、团队精神、道德观念等。所以一定程度的统一、强制性的教育是有必要的。
4、   总结，按个人的兴趣进行教育很有必要，但其他方面的教育同样占有重要地位。


(下次记得在文章里用半角标点呵呵)

According to this statement, the speaker asserts that only the educations designed for individual needs and intension (intension?? interests)of each student are effective. I agree that it may be helpful for students' develop(ment) on personalities. However, the educations merely geared to the needs of individual interests are far from effective.(开头完全符合I的要求)


Admittedly (似乎论证第一段不是非常适合用admittedly), in some circumstances, an individual-centered (好词)education will greatly elicit one's potentiality in realms he/she is interested in. As we know, everyone has his/her own special favorite subjects. Most students will reveal a strong willing to learn about those interesting subjects. For the purpose of inspire the students' desire to learn, it is essential for educators to be aware of personal interests of students and provide different curriculums according with them.(深度跟力量有所欠缺)

Nevertheless, an education system merely designed for individual needs and interests is neither actually effective nor realizable.  (第一句话很清楚) First of all, the interests of teenagers are always extensive and can't stop altering in the adolescence. Tract exactly what their interests are is impossible. And (似乎用and不是很好,Therefore吧~)after the relevant courses are eventually provided, teachers may find these passionate followers have already run away! Secondly, adolescents are aimless on some level (不知道on some level 是虾米意思) with some meaningless interests. For example, many people dream to become a pop star when they grow up. But sooner or later, only few of them will recognize that they are talented in music , and even less can ultimately make a live on it. (翻译成中文是'但是只有很少一部分人迟早会发现自己有音乐天分'...好像不是很通顺吧~一般都是说'迟早他们会发现大部分人会发现他们不适合做音乐') If educators could give proper suggestions to students about the (删掉the) interests which (改成'which interests'似乎恰好通顺~虽然不像是你本来的意思.如果是你的原句,我没太看明白意思~)can best prepare them for the future life, they will not waste time on unsuitable struggling. Moreover, individual-centered education will obviously cost too many teaching resources and time for our society to bear. If we can just afford to provide it to some special selected students, it's unfair for the others, while this education system shouldn't be identified an effective one to the public. (再加一句总结会比较好,一凑字数,二也显得更加完整. 整段力度稍显不够,但是第一次能做到酱紫已经相当可以了呵呵)

Further more, education system should satisfy not only individual needs, but also desire of the society. In addition to personal skills, people need to know some primary knowledge in many different realms to meet the demand of modern society. (略微有点脱节,社会需要'the desire of the society'和人为适应社会所必须能力'in addition to personal skills'不是一个概念.中间最好再加上一句把两个概念联系起来,或者把人适应社会的论证内容放到本段后半部分再说. 而且从下文来看本段根本就没有提到desire of the society, 所以觉得还是改ts比较好,那划横线的话改过之后应该放到本段开始的地方,因为那句话是你本段论点的基本根据) Take computer science for example, now every doctor in a modern hospital should learn some computer knowledge to prescribe, or give patients some consultation through internet. Even if one doctor doesn't like computer at all, it is still a responsibility for education to bring him/her some knowledge in this field. Besides, communication skills, team work spirits, and even moral characters, they all have no relationship with individual interests. (这种过于绝对的话其实应该尽量避免,而且感觉这句话不太经得起推敲 不如改成Communication skills, team work spirits, and even moral characters, these all calls for a conformity-typed education, individual-centered education may help little 最后把这句话放到段落的开头部分) But aiming to be a man accommodated and useful to the society, people should also expect to learn these from some uniform, compelling educations.

In sum, it is essential to emphasis education on individual needs and interests, since one of the most important functions of education is to develop the individual personality of one's life. Yet we should be cognizant (好词!偶收下了^_^) that there are too many other factors, such as proper introductions, basic knowledge, team learning and moral discipline should also play crucial roles in our education systems. (再强调一下,就说你列举的这些方面光靠personal interests是肯定不行的等等.要点一下题目嘛. 结尾可以再加一点,略微有些单薄)

一边工作一边要gre很辛苦的啦 加油加油
第一篇肯定会有很多困难的后面就会很快好起来的
而且你这篇写的也不错哈哈


[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-2-8 23:00 编辑 ]

arbilUID: 2270268

多谢多谢，上次看完忘了回了，呵呵。这篇是觉得无论例子还是论述都太单薄，因此第二篇就堆了一堆例子，不过让welcomebs一眼就看出论述不够了，呵呵。句子的能力确实欠缺，得抓紧提高