Argument2 【Persistence 小组】工作加班的原因，太赶了

欣馨之火UID: 2183210

2. The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting."


In this letter, the committee recommends all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres to adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres. To justify this recommendation, the committee cites that Brookville community, which is near to their location, has adopted similar restrictions seven years ago, and average property values of Brookville have tripled since then. Close scrutiny of both of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.

First of all, the committee fails to prove that Brookville's restrictions on landscaping and housepainting is the reason of the increase of their average property values. It is entirely possible that there are some other reasons, such as the development Brookville community, the increasing population of the community and even the prosperity of local economy, caused the significant increase of the average property values, especially since a considerable period of time has passed since Brookville adopted its restrictions.

Secondly, even assuming that the restrictions contributed to rising Brookville's property values, no evidence supports that Brookville's situation is quite similar to that of Deerhaven Acres. Possible difference between Brookville and Deerhaven might help to bring about a significantly different result for Deerhaven. For instance, Deerhaven is a famously touristy city for its different style of buildings and houses, which benefits to the homeowners, and the potential homebuyers who are interested in the profits would not purchase houses have no distinctive style for the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting.

Furthermore, the committee fails to substantiate that residents in Deerhaven Acres will prefer the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting than freedom of choice. The citizens in Deerhaven Acres probably don't like these restrictions for their personalities would be lost. For that matter, many residents would have to leave Deerhaven Acres, and rare population cannot attract more people to purchase or rent houses at there. Therefore, the average property values would take a high risk to decrease, say nothing of increase.

In conclusion, this recommendation is unconvincing as it stands. To bolster it, the committee has to give more evidence of the correlation between the tripled average property values and restrictions put in force, and more information about the similarity of the two community and the opinions of the citizens in Deerhaven Acres.

小驴子UID: 2222683

• In this letter, the committee recommends all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres to adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres. To justify this recommendation, the committee cites that Brookville community, which is near to their location, has adopted similar restrictions seven years ago, and average property values of Brookville have tripled since then. Close scrutiny of both of these facts, however, reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.(开头比较好 经典式的模板开头)

• First of all, the committee fails to prove that Brookville's restrictions on landscaping and housepainting is the reason of the increase of their average property values. It is entirely possible that there are some other reasons, such as the development（of） Brookville community, the increasing population of the community（社区人口的增多感觉不是很有说服力） and even the prosperity of local economy, caused the significant increase of the average property values, especially since a considerable period of time has passed since Brookville adopted its restrictions.（指明average prosperity增高的原因 但是猪长 我觉得本文的这个个人产业的增加主要是指在地产方面吧 因为所给证据＆例子都是围绕地价方面的问题 而且所有的翻译也都是围绕地价来说的 可能如果从为什么这个地价会有所增高的原因上说更好）
• Secondly, even assuming that the restrictions contributed to rising Brookville's property values, no evidence supports that Brookville's situation is quite similar to that of Deerhaven Acres. Possible difference between Brookville and Deerhaven might help to bring about a significantly different result for Deerhaven. For instance, Deerhaven is a famously touristy city for its different style of buildings and houses, which benefits to the homeowners, and the potential homebuyers who are interested in the profits would not purchase houses have no distinctive style for the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting.（典型的错误类比问题 分析比较好 但是如果能在多写两句可能性 不仅可以丰富本文 而且还可以提高字数）
• Furthermore, the committee fails to substantiate that residents in Deerhaven Acres will prefer the restrictions on landscaping and housepainting than freedom of choice. The citizens in Deerhaven Acres probably don't like these restrictions for their personalities would be lost. For that matter, many residents would have to leave Deerhaven Acres, and rare population cannot attract more people to purchase or rent houses at there. Therefore, the average property values would take a high risk to decrease, say nothing of increase.
• In conclusion, this recommendation is unconvincing as it stands. To bolster it, the committee has to give more evidence of the correlation between the tripled average property values and restrictions put in force, and more information about the similarity of the two community and the opinions of the citizens in Deerhaven Acres.
  
  本文语法没有大的问题 不知道是不是因为限时的关系 本文的论证较少 总觉得作者可以再多举些例子来丰富自己的例子
  作者可能对文中个人产值的增加的含义理解的还不到位 这个主要是指因为地产的增加导致个人产值的增加 （个人觉得 从中文给的翻译来看）
  加油！！

[ 本帖最后由 小驴子 于 2007-2-10 19:33 编辑 ]