Issue51 【0706G－CRUSADE小组】 第１次作业 by xixiaiko

xixiaikoUID：2302263

生平第一次Issue，帮帮忙了。。。。

Topic：Issue51 "Education will be trulyeffectiveonly when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

WORDS: 536     DATE: 2007 Valentine’s Day
Limitation of this assertion is that it makes certain the only way leading to effective education is the one which specifically designed to individuals. As individuation is more and more emphasized in this competitive world nowadays, it is true that specifically designed courses will better enhance one’s special ability. However, it’s unadvisable to hang oneself on one tree. Overconfidence on the effect of this way of education, or taking it as an unchangeable rule may bring bad effects no less than its merit.

First, the reliability of the stating may different from students of different background of education. An undergraduate student may be mature enough to choose his major courses while it is nearly impossible for an elementary school student be taught mostly according to his interest. One builds his interest when he begins to interact with the subject, and this requires a basic understanding of its content. Kid’s interest usually does much with fun and joy. Educators have a responsibility to guide the adolescent to a righteous way of interest but give loose to their immature thoughts. Furthermore, if educators provide an education in a small scale limited by the individuals’ interest in the early year of the educational system, students will lose chances to develop their potential. So the freedom of circulation should be altered according to different level, and an amount of standard courses should be brought in of different partial before university education.
Another important case to be paid attention to is the definition of the effect of education. The UNESCO established the aim of education at the conference held in Paris in 1996 as the following: Learning to know; Learning to do; Learning to get together; Learning to be. A specially focused education may meet the first and second aspect in a narrow scope, but will hardly reach the last two aims, which are in long term more important. The ability to cooperate with others is strongly required in today’s society as cooperation between different disciplines is becoming very common. A well-round knowledge background is a foundation of this skill. As to the last point, a conductive curriculum may be not match with students’ needs but will do good to help them cultivate a righteous evaluation to themselves  and the surrounding well, to say, well being.

What’s more, a student’s interest may be too short lived to develop. I remembered that when I was young, I got easily interested with the subjects in which I did well on and disliked those I was not confident in. Trends among peer or of a specified time may also influenced one’s tendency of interest. But this will also last for no long. It may seemed reasonable when a girl stated that her dream is gaining the first place in “Super Girl” in 2005 but regards stupid this year as the fever faded away.

In conclusion, specially designed education according to individuals’ needs and interest may do well in some aspects to students with adequate background. Having one’s view overshadowed by these effect and ignored the important and necessary effect of well-round and other ways of education is a short sight conception and is not suitable for the contemporary world.

[ 本帖最后由 lastangel 于 2007-2-15 10:39 编辑 ]

vanluckerUID：2267009

我改错人了...等等我现在就开始拍

vanluckerUID：2267009

来迟一步,不好意思呵呵
之前改错人了,耽搁了点时间

Limitation of this assertion is that it (only点明局限)makes certain (that)the only(去掉) way leading to effective education is the one which specifically designed to individuals.（有创意的开头呵呵） As individuation is more and more emphasized in this competitive world nowadays, it is true that specifically designed courses will better enhance one’s special ability. However, it’s unadvisable to hang oneself on one tree(…是谚语吗?我不懂…-_-!). Overconfidence on the effect of this way of education, or taking it as an unchangeable rule may bring bad effects no less than its merit(看的怪怪的,换个说法最好,比如虽然带来好处,也带来坏处,这样感觉好理解点…个人见解^_^).First, the reliability of the stating(什么意思?陈述的可靠性?) may different from students of different background of education. An undergraduate student may be mature enough to choose his major courses while it is nearly impossible for an elementary school student be taught mostly according to his(or her) interests. One(最好用大点词,比如学生,因为包括男女,指代时用THEY,THEIR就好了) builds his(or her) interest when he begins to interact with the subject, and this requires a basic understanding of its content. Kid’s(children) interest usually does much with fun and joy(同义词并列不太好). Educators have a responsibility to guide the adolescent to a righteous(这个形容本人感觉不合适,觉得SUITABLE之类好点) way of interest but (to)give loose to their immature(innocent) thoughts. Furthermore, if educators provide an education in a small scale limited by the individuals’(individual) interest in the early year of the educational system(感觉表达不对,应该是in their early age), students will lose chances to develop their potential. So the freedom of circulation(???learning?) should be altered according to different level, and an amount of standard courses should be brought in of different partial before university(higher大学以上教育) education.
例子合适中心句,思路流畅,就是表达还是有点瑕疵
Another important case to be paid attention to(如果用pay attention最好用主动态或换种说法turning next to ….) is the definition of the effect of education. The UNESCO established the aim of education at the conference held in Paris in 1996 as the following: Learning to know; Learning to do; Learning to get together; Learning to be. A specially focused education may meet the first and second aspect in a narrow scope, but will(might) hardly reach the last two aims, which are in (a)long term more important.(连接有点问题,加点however) The ability to cooperate with others is strongly required in today’s(present) society as cooperation between(改in因为cooperation由人做,所以不能说between two sth.) different disciplines is becoming very common(换个说法,比如inevitably required in common个人建议,不知道行不行). (Meanwhile,)A well-round knowledge( background去掉) is a foundation of this skill(ability). As to the last point, a conductive curriculum may be not match with students’ needs but will do good to help them cultivate(评价可以培养吗?不过这句的意思我也不知道该怎么写-_^!) a righteous evaluation to themselves  and the surrounding well, to say, well being(最后半句不知道什么意思呵呵).
你举例说明ability and well-round knowledge,按文章意思应该是对应the last two aims,所以你要说明例子和the last two aims的关系,不单单说例子的作用

What’s more, a student’s interest may be too short lived to develop(感觉怪,换个说法比如change rapidly之类). I remembered that when I was young, I got easily interested with the subjects in which I did well on and(and改while I感觉更好) disliked those I was not confident in. Trends among peers or of a specified time may also influence one’s (tendency of去掉,兴趣本来就是一种倾向,个人见解) interest. But this(指代不明,改interest) will also last for no long(longer). It may seemed reasonable when(It seems understandable that) a girl stated that her dream is gaining the first place(championship) in “Super Girl” in 2005 but regards stupid this(next)year as the fever faded away.
这段除了说兴趣易变外,还必须联系上教育,比如兴趣变了,教育也跟着变,造成资源浪费,以及耽误了基础教育,然后后果很严重之类呵呵^_^!In conclusion, specially designed education according to individuals’ needs and interest may do well in some aspects to students with adequate background(什么背景,要略写下比如well-round knowledge, special personality等). Having one’s view overshadowed by these effect and ignored(ignoring) the important and necessary effect of well-round and other ways of education is a short sight conception(sight and conception 同义) and is not suitable for the contemporary(不太好,表示同时代的意思,改为当今会适合点) world.(补充说下基础教育和个性教育的平衡,这样才对上主题)

思路不错,就是有点中国化局限, 北美里思路里教育系统就不仅是学习还有道德与民主思想的教育等等,这些对作文的思路都有很大帮助和提高
感觉你的水平跟我差不多,但是你还需要多花点时间看范文,学习下老外的表达方式
加油吧