Argument145 继续中的同主题，大家都来拍啊

harrietannUID: 2204456

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 392          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-2-15

Well-presented but not well-reasoned, the argument can not convince me that eating less and exercise more could be a good advice to the ones snore.

First, it is inconvincible that the reference 'many' on the ones who suffer sleep apnea. If the statement 'many' basis on the number of 1000 while the sample contains 100,000 people, the proportion obviously gains more reliance. In this case, the reference of the condition called sleep apnea can not be a worth-consider condition for the overall patients on snoring. On the contrary, overweight of the people snoring might probaby result from other dispositions rather than sleep apnea.

Even it is the sleep apnea that caused the snoring people overweight, the following deduction is not reliable. There is a lack of evidence that whether the interruption of breathing really causes the person tired. It is said that the briefly wake can not be noticed, so the influnce is worth doubting. That is to say, if the interruption of breathing does wake people but not influence the quality of sleep, people who snore may not be tired during the day for snore, and the overweight boring them can not be cured for this reason.

What is more, tired is not the very causation for absenteem from exercise. People who do not take much exercise might be caused many reasons other than this one, lazy may be a most regular one. If one person does not take any interest in exercise, even he or she is not tired at all, exercise may not be the choice for the leisure time. Without statement on this, the reasoning can not be a reliable one.

Before I come to my conclusion, the advice that eating less than the average person and exercise more is groundless lacking explanation on the comtemporary condition of the diet and exercise of the people snore. It is most likely that the snore people have make much more effort on their diet and exercise than the people who do not snore. Unfortunately, however, their weight is still much more than the other ones. In this case, there must be causations other than be presented in the argument, and the advice could not work on them.

In sum, the arguer fails to provide evidence on several key points of the deduction, which makes the argument inconvincible.

很多词自己也觉得用的不妥，望大人指点，先谢过。

[ 本帖最后由 harrietann 于 2007-2-15 10:01 编辑 ]

chongxinlaiUID: 2235209

Well-presented but not well-reasoned, the argument can not convince me that eating less and exercise 这里用ing是不适和前面的搭配呢？more could be a good advice to the ones snore.
First, it is inconvincible that the reference 'many' on the ones who suffer sleep apnea. If the statement 'many' basis on the number of 1000 while the sample contains 100,000 people, the proportion obviously gains more reliance. In this case, the reference of the condition called sleep apnea can not be a worth-consider condition for the overall patients on snoring. On the contrary, overweight of the people snoring might probaby result from other dispositions rather than sleep apnea.
Even it is the sleep apnea that caused the snoring people overweight, the following deduction is not reliable. There is a lack of evidence that whether the interruption of breathing really causes the person tired. It is said that the briefly wake can not be noticed, so the influnce is worth doubting. That is to say, if the interruption of breathing does wake people but not influence the quality of sleep还是会醒的吧wakes the person，像文章里说得那样, people who snore may not be tired during the day for snore and the overweight boring them can not be cured for this reason.
What is more, tired is not the very causation for absentee from exercise. People who do not take much exercise主语是people？might be caused many reasons换换 other than this one, lazy may be a most regular one. If one person does not take any interest in exercise, even he or she is not tired at all, exercise may not be the choice for the leisure time. Without statement on this, the reasoning can not be a reliable one.
Before I come to my conclusion, the advice that eating less than the average person and exercise more is groundless lacking explanation on the comtemporary condition of the diet and exercise of the people snore. It is most likely that the snore people have make much more effort on their diet and exercise than the people who do not snore. Unfortunately, however, their weight is still much more weight是不是用more忘了 than the other ones. In this case, there must be causations other than be presented in the argument, and the advice could not work on them.
In sum, the arguer fails to provide evidence on several key points of the deduction, which makes the argument inconvincible.
半小时啊！PF啊PF!除了一些基本的语法词句没什么好挑的了，不过在看的时候，有些句子都起来总觉得不顺….也许是我自己chinese English 写多了

harrietannUID: 2204456

谢谢ls，我觉得我的问题在于攻击时语言的逻辑，再就是chinglish，都是大问题啊